{"id":1559,"date":"2026-10-12T22:56:04","date_gmt":"2026-10-12T22:56:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/gggh-2.jpg"},"modified":"2026-10-12T22:56:12","modified_gmt":"2026-10-12T22:56:12","slug":"abstract-nature-painting-4","status":"inherit","type":"attachment","link":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/annem-dul-ve-bekar-bir-anneyle-evlendigim-icin-beni-hayatindan-sildi\/abstract-nature-painting-4\/","title":{"rendered":"v"},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":[],"class_list":["post-1559","attachment","type-attachment","status-inherit","hentry"],"description":{"rendered":"<p class=\"attachment\"><a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/gggh-2.jpg'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"222\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/gggh-2-300x222.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium size-medium\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/gggh-2-300x222.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/gggh-2.jpg 612w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n"},"caption":{"rendered":"<p>Annem, dul ve bekar bir anneyle evlendi\u011fim i\u00e7in beni hayat\u0131ndan sildi. Benimle alay etti.<br \/>\nSonra\u2026 \u00fc\u00e7 y\u0131l sonra kar\u015f\u0131ma \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda y\u0131k\u0131ld\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Babam ben be\u015f ya\u015f\u0131ndayken evi terk etti.<br \/>\nO g\u00fcnden sonra annem beni tek ba\u015f\u0131na b\u00fcy\u00fctt\u00fc.<\/p>\n<p>Varl\u0131kl\u0131 bir aileden geliyordu.<br \/>\nHayat\u0131n\u0131 bana adad\u0131 ama bu adanm\u0131\u015fl\u0131k sevgiden de\u011fil, beklentiden ibaretti.<\/p>\n<p>Ben onun i\u00e7in hi\u00e7bir zaman \u201co\u011flu\u201d olmad\u0131m.<br \/>\nBen onun yat\u0131r\u0131m\u0131yd\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>\u00d6zel okullar.<br \/>\nPiyano dersleri.<br \/>\nBen ne istiyorum diye sormadan \u00e7izilmi\u015f bir gelecek.<\/p>\n<p>\u00dc\u00e7 y\u0131l \u00f6nce, 27 ya\u015f\u0131ndayken, sevdi\u011fim kad\u0131n\u0131 annemle tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Ad\u0131 Ay\u015fe\u2019ydi.<\/p>\n<p>Ay\u015fe, 7 ya\u015f\u0131ndaki o\u011flunu tek ba\u015f\u0131na b\u00fcy\u00fcten bir kad\u0131nd\u0131.<br \/>\nBir klinikte gece vardiyas\u0131nda \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu.<br \/>\nEski bir arabas\u0131 vard\u0131.<br \/>\nG\u00f6steri\u015fli de\u011fildi.<br \/>\nEtkileyici de\u011fildi.<br \/>\n\u201cCilal\u0131\u201d hi\u00e7 de\u011fildi.<\/p>\n<p>Annem kibar olmaya bile \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmad\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOnun da ge\u00e7mi\u015ften gelen y\u00fckleri var,\u201d dedi y\u00fcz\u00fcme baka baka.<br \/>\n\u201cVe sen gelece\u011fini \u00e7\u00f6pe at\u0131yorsun!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ona zaten evlenece\u011fimizi s\u00f6yledi\u011fimde aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131, ceketini d\u00fczeltti ve sakin bir sesle \u015funu s\u00f6yledi:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cE\u011fer onunla evlenirsen, bir daha benden hi\u00e7bir \u015fey isteme.<br \/>\nO hayat\u0131 sen se\u00e7iyorsun.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ve ben se\u00e7tim.<\/p>\n<p>K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir kiral\u0131k eve ta\u015f\u0131nd\u0131k.<br \/>\n\u015e\u0131k de\u011fildi ama bizimdi.<\/p>\n<p>Zengin de\u011fildik.<br \/>\nAma istikrarl\u0131yd\u0131k.<br \/>\nFaturalar \u00f6deniyordu.<br \/>\nBuzdolab\u0131 doluydu.<br \/>\nEv sessizdi.<\/p>\n<p>Ay\u015fe hi\u00e7 \u015fik\u00e2yet etmedi.<br \/>\nEtmesine gerek yoktu.<\/p>\n<p>Birka\u00e7 ay sonra o\u011flu bana bir g\u00fcn, hi\u00e7 planlanmam\u0131\u015f bir anda:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBaba\u201d dedi.<\/p>\n<p>Ve ben\u2026<br \/>\nhayat\u0131mda ilk kez mutluydum.<\/p>\n<p>\u00dc\u00e7 y\u0131l boyunca annemden tek bir haber gelmedi.<\/p>\n<p>Ge\u00e7en hafta telefonum \u00e7ald\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDuydu\u011fuma g\u00f6re\u2026 art\u0131k bir ailen varm\u0131\u015f,\u201d dedi.<br \/>\n\u201c\u015eehirdeyim. Yar\u0131n u\u011frayaca\u011f\u0131m.<br \/>\nHayat\u0131n\u0131 ne kadar mahvetti\u011fini g\u00f6rmek istiyorum.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ertesi g\u00fcn kap\u0131dan i\u00e7eri girdi.<br \/>\nKusursuz giyimliydi.<br \/>\nBak\u0131\u015flar\u0131 her zamanki gibi yarg\u0131 doluydu.<\/p>\n<p>Evin i\u00e7ine ad\u0131m att\u0131.<br \/>\nEtraf\u0131na bakt\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Sonra bir anda kap\u0131 \u00e7er\u00e7evesini tuttu.<br \/>\nY\u00fcz\u00fc bembeyaz oldu.<\/p>\n<p>Ve f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAman Allah\u2019\u0131m\u2026 Bu ne b\u00f6yle?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Annem kap\u0131 \u00e7er\u00e7evesine tutunup \u201cAman Allah\u2019\u0131m\u2026 Bu ne b\u00f6yle?\u201d dedi\u011finde, \u00f6nce ger\u00e7ekten neye bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlayamad\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Ev\u2026 bizim evdi i\u015fte. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck, biraz eski, ama tertemiz. Ay\u015fe\u2019nin sabah\u0131n yedisinde bile kalk\u0131p sildi\u011fi koridor. Salondaki iki kanepeden biri ikinci eldi. Duvar\u0131n bir k\u00f6\u015fesinde, o\u011flumuz Kerem\u2019in boyad\u0131\u011f\u0131, kenarlar\u0131 ta\u015fm\u0131\u015f bir \u201caile resmi\u201d as\u0131l\u0131yd\u0131. Ben, Ay\u015fe ve Kerem\u2026 \u00dc\u00e7 \u00e7ubuk adam, kocaman bir g\u00fcne\u015f.<\/p>\n<p>Annemin g\u00f6zleri o resimde as\u0131l\u0131 kald\u0131. Sonra h\u0131zla sa\u011fa sola kayd\u0131. Sanki bir kusur ar\u0131yordu. Bir da\u011f\u0131n\u0131kl\u0131k, bir eksiklik, bir \u201cbak g\u00f6rd\u00fcn m\u00fc\u201d c\u00fcmlesine malzeme olacak bir \u015fey\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Bulamad\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Yutkundu. Bir ad\u0131m att\u0131. Hal\u0131n\u0131n \u00fczerine basarken sanki bir m\u00fczeye giriyormu\u015f gibi temkinliydi.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBu\u2026 bu ev\u2026\u201d dedi k\u0131s\u0131k sesle. \u201cBekledi\u011fim gibi de\u011fil.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNe bekliyordun?\u201d dedim. Sesim sand\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan daha sert \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Annem cevap vermedi. Bir anda g\u00f6zleri mutfa\u011fa tak\u0131ld\u0131. Tezg\u00e2h\u0131n \u00fczerinde bir tabak kurabiye vard\u0131. Ay\u015fe, annem gelece\u011fi i\u00e7in sabah erkenden yapm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u00dcstlerinde tar\u00e7\u0131n kokusu h\u00e2l\u00e2 duruyordu. Annem taba\u011fa yakla\u015ft\u0131, sanki birinin ona oyun oynay\u0131p oynamad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r gibi e\u011fildi.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSen mi yapt\u0131n?\u201d dedi.<\/p>\n<p>O an Ay\u015fe mutfaktan \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. \u00dczerinde sade bir ev k\u0131yafeti, y\u00fcz\u00fcnde yorgun ama kibar bir ifade vard\u0131. Ne gururlu bir duru\u015f, ne de ezik bir boyun. Sadece\u2026 sakinlik.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHo\u015f geldiniz,\u201d dedi Ay\u015fe. \u201c\u00c7ay koyuyorum.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Annemin bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131 Ay\u015fe\u2019yi ba\u015ftan a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 tarad\u0131. \u00dc\u00e7 y\u0131l \u00f6nceki o k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcmseyen g\u00fcl\u00fcmseme dudaklar\u0131n\u0131n kenar\u0131nda belirmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ama tutmad\u0131. Sanki bo\u011faz\u0131na tak\u0131ld\u0131. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc Ay\u015fe\u2019nin g\u00f6zlerinde ne \u00f6z\u00fcr vard\u0131 ne de kendini ispat etme tela\u015f\u0131. Bu, annemi rahats\u0131z etti.<\/p>\n<p>Tam o s\u0131rada k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ayak sesleri duyuldu.<\/p>\n<p>Kerem odas\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. \u00dczerinde pijamas\u0131, sa\u00e7lar\u0131 da\u011f\u0131l\u0131kt\u0131. \u00d6nce beni g\u00f6rd\u00fc, sonra Ay\u015fe\u2019yi\u2026 sonra da annemi.<\/p>\n<p>Bir an durdu. Annemle g\u00f6z g\u00f6ze geldi.<\/p>\n<p>Ve Kerem, sanki d\u00fcnyan\u0131n en normal \u015feyiymi\u015f gibi, g\u00fclerek yan\u0131ma ko\u015ftu devam\u0131 sonrki syfda&#8230;<\/p>\n"},"alt_text":"","media_type":"image","mime_type":"image\/jpeg","media_details":{"width":612,"height":452,"file":"2026\/10\/gggh-2.jpg","filesize":71872,"sizes":{"medium":{"file":"gggh-2-300x222.jpg","width":300,"height":222,"filesize":25801,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/gggh-2-300x222.jpg"},"thumbnail":{"file":"gggh-2-150x150.jpg","width":150,"height":150,"filesize":10404,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/gggh-2-150x150.jpg"},"full":{"file":"gggh-2.jpg","width":612,"height":452,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/gggh-2.jpg"}},"image_meta":{"aperture":"0","credit":"Getty Images","camera":"","caption":"Abstract nature painting","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"Abstract nature painting","orientation":"0","keywords":[],"alt":""}},"post":1558,"source_url":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/gggh-2.jpg","filename":"gggh-2.jpg","filesize":71872,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1559","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/attachment"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1559"}],"wp:attached-to":[{"embeddable":true,"post_type":"post","id":1558,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1558"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}