{"id":491,"date":"2026-09-16T22:44:36","date_gmt":"2026-09-16T22:44:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/imgon1.jpg"},"modified":"2026-09-16T22:45:04","modified_gmt":"2026-09-16T22:45:04","slug":"imgon1","status":"inherit","type":"attachment","link":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/43-yasinda-duldum-koyun-agasiyla-evlendim-ilk-geceden\/imgon1\/","title":{"rendered":"43 ya\u015f\u0131nda duldum k\u00f6y\u00fcn a\u011fas\u0131yla evlendim ilk geceden.."},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":[],"class_list":["post-491","attachment","type-attachment","status-inherit","hentry"],"description":{"rendered":"<p class=\"attachment\"><a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/imgon1.jpg'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/imgon1-300x300.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium size-medium\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/imgon1-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/imgon1-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/imgon1-768x768.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/imgon1.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n"},"caption":{"rendered":"<p>Foto\u011fraftaki kad\u0131n bendim.<\/p>\n<p>En az\u0131ndan bana inan\u0131lmaz derecede benzeyen biriydi.<\/p>\n<p>Ayn\u0131 g\u00f6zler.<\/p>\n<p>Ayn\u0131 ka\u015flar.<\/p>\n<p>Ayn\u0131 g\u00fcl\u00fcmseme.<\/p>\n<p>Ama foto\u011fraf en az otuz y\u0131ll\u0131kt\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBu kim?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Rasim&#8217;in y\u00fcz\u00fc karard\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAblam.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u015ea\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131kla ona bakt\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSenin ablan m\u0131?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sallad\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAd\u0131 G\u00fclizar&#8217;d\u0131.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sonra foto\u011fraf\u0131n arkas\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7evirdi.<\/p>\n<p>Tarih yaz\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n<p>Rasim konu\u015fmaya devam etti.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cG\u00fclizar on dokuz ya\u015f\u0131ndayken bu k\u00f6yden ka\u00e7t\u0131. Babam onu sevmedi\u011fi biriyle evlendirmek istiyordu. O da gece yar\u0131s\u0131 ortadan kayboldu. Bir daha haber alamad\u0131k.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBunun benimle ne ilgisi var?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Rasim g\u00f6zlerimin i\u00e7ine bakt\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc seni ilk g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm g\u00fcn onun k\u0131z\u0131 olabilece\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bo\u011faz\u0131m d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmlendi.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNe diyorsun sen?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Annem bana ge\u00e7mi\u015finden neredeyse hi\u00e7 bahsetmezdi.<\/p>\n<p>Bildi\u011fim kadar\u0131yla ba\u015fka bir \u015fehirde b\u00fcy\u00fcm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Anne ve babas\u0131n\u0131 gen\u00e7 ya\u015fta kaybetti\u011fini s\u00f6ylerdi.<\/p>\n<p>Ama annemin ad\u0131 G\u00fclizar de\u011fildi.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnnemin ad\u0131 Naciye&#8217;ydi.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Rasim hemen sordu:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cKimli\u011findeki ad\u0131 m\u0131?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bu soru beni susturdu.<\/p>\n<p>\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc annemin eski belgelerini hi\u00e7 g\u00f6rmemi\u015ftim.<\/p>\n<p>Rasim kutudan ikinci bir \u015fey \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Bir kolye.<\/p>\n<p>Onu g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm anda dizlerimdeki g\u00fc\u00e7 \u00e7ekildi.<\/p>\n<p>\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ayn\u0131 kolyenin bir e\u015fi benim evimdeki sand\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7inde duruyordu.<\/p>\n<p>Annem \u00f6lmeden birka\u00e7 g\u00fcn \u00f6nce bana vermi\u015fti.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBunu sakla,\u201d demi\u015fti.<\/p>\n<p>Nedenini sordu\u011fumda cevap vermemi\u015fti.<\/p>\n<p>Rasim&#8217;in elindeki kolyeyi titreyen parmaklarla ald\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>\u0130ki par\u00e7al\u0131 bir madalyondu.<\/p>\n<p>Benimkinde yar\u0131m ay vard\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Onunkinde yar\u0131m g\u00fcne\u015f.<\/p>\n<p>Yan yana geldi\u011finde tek bir \u015fekil olu\u015fturuyordu.<\/p>\n<p>O gece yeni evlendi\u011fim adam\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda sabaha kadar oturdum.<\/p>\n<p>Akl\u0131mda tek bir d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce vard\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Ya Rasim hakl\u0131ysa?<\/p>\n<p>Ya annem y\u0131llarca ger\u00e7ek kimli\u011fini benden saklad\u0131ysa?<\/p>\n<p>Ertesi sabah kendi evime gittim.<\/p>\n<p>Sand\u0131\u011f\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Kolye oradayd\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Ama alt\u0131nda daha \u00f6nce hi\u00e7 fark etmedi\u011fim ince bir tahta b\u00f6lme vard\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Onu kald\u0131r\u0131nca k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir zarf buldum.<\/p>\n<p>\u00dczerinde benim ad\u0131m yaz\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n<p>Neriman&#8217;a.<\/p>\n<p>Ellerim titreyerek a\u00e7t\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>\u0130\u00e7inden tek sayfal\u0131k bir mektup \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cE\u011fer bunu okuyorsan, ge\u00e7mi\u015f art\u0131k seni bulmu\u015f demektir.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Okuduk\u00e7a g\u00f6zlerim doldu.<\/p>\n<p>Annem ger\u00e7ekten G\u00fclizar&#8217;d\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>K\u00f6yden ka\u00e7t\u0131ktan sonra ad\u0131n\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirmi\u015f, yeni bir hayat kurmu\u015ftu.<\/p>\n<p>Ama as\u0131l \u015fa\u015f\u0131rt\u0131c\u0131 olan mektubun sonundayd\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cRasim seni bulursa ondan korkma. O benim karde\u015fimdir. Y\u0131llar boyunca seni uzaktan korumas\u0131n\u0131 ondan ben istedim.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Oldu\u011fum yere \u00e7\u00f6kt\u00fcm.<\/p>\n<p>Rasim benim day\u0131md\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Ve biz evlenmi\u015ftik.<\/p>\n<p>Mektubu elimden d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n<p>Hemen kona\u011fa ko\u015ftum.<\/p>\n<p>Rasim avluda beni bekliyordu.<\/p>\n<p>Mektubu uzatt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda y\u00fcz\u00fcndeki ifadeyi hi\u00e7 unutmayaca\u011f\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Okuduk\u00e7a beti benzi att\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Sonra sessizce sandalyeye oturdu.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBilmiyordum,\u201d dedi.<\/p>\n<p>\u0130lk kez o g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc adam\u0131n g\u00f6zlerinde ger\u00e7ek korku g\u00f6rd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n<p>O g\u00fcn evlili\u011fimizin resmi i\u015flemlerini durdurmak i\u00e7in kasabaya gittik. D\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn yap\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ama resmi nik\u00e2h i\u015flemleri hen\u00fcz tamamlanmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Hayat bazen insan\u0131 korkun\u00e7 bir u\u00e7urumun kenar\u0131na kadar getirip son anda geri \u00e7ekiyordu.<\/p>\n<p>Ama hik\u00e2yemiz orada bitmedi.<\/p>\n<p>\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc annemin mektubunda ba\u015fka bir ger\u00e7ek daha vard\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Rasim y\u0131llarca benim day\u0131m oldu\u011funu bilmeden beni korumu\u015ftu.<\/p>\n<p>Pazara giderken uzaktan takip etmi\u015f.<\/p>\n<p>Kocam \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde bor\u00e7lar\u0131m y\u00fcz\u00fcnden evime haciz gelmek \u00fczereyken borcun bir k\u0131sm\u0131n\u0131 isimsiz olarak o \u00f6demi\u015f.<\/p>\n<p>Bah\u00e7emdeki su kuyusu \u00e7\u00f6kt\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde ustalar\u0131n paras\u0131n\u0131 gizlice o vermi\u015f.<\/p>\n<p>Ben y\u0131llarca b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131n \u015fans oldu\u011funu sanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Rasim ise kar\u015f\u0131ma \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p ger\u00e7e\u011fi anlatmaya cesaret edememi\u015fti.<\/p>\n<p>Ta ki bana kar\u015f\u0131 hislerinin de\u011fi\u015fti\u011fini fark edene kadar.<\/p>\n<p>O g\u00fcn kona\u011f\u0131n merdivenlerinde otururken ikimiz de uzun s\u00fcre konu\u015fmad\u0131k.<\/p>\n<p>Sonunda Rasim ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 e\u011fdi.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBen seni hayat\u0131mda tutmak istedim,\u201d dedi. \u201cAma yanl\u0131\u015f bir \u015fekilde.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Elimi omzuna koydum.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBelki de hayat\u0131nda olmam gerekiyordu. Sadece e\u015fin olarak de\u011fil.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Aylar ge\u00e7ti.<\/p>\n<p>K\u00f6yde dedikodular bitmedi.<\/p>\n<p>Ama ben art\u0131k \u00f6nemsemiyordum.<\/p>\n<p>Kona\u011f\u0131n yan\u0131ndaki eski m\u00fc\u015ftemilat\u0131 k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir \u00fcretim at\u00f6lyesine \u00e7evirdik. K\u00f6y\u00fcn yaln\u0131z ya\u015fayan kad\u0131nlar\u0131 orada re\u00e7el, tarhana, eri\u015fte yapmaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Rasim \u00fcr\u00fcnlerin \u015fehre sat\u0131lmas\u0131 i\u00e7in ba\u011flant\u0131lar kurdu.<\/p>\n<p>Ben de y\u0131llar sonra ilk kez b\u00fcy\u00fck bir ailenin par\u00e7as\u0131 gibi hissettim.<\/p>\n<p>Rasim&#8217;e hi\u00e7bir zaman kocam olarak bakmad\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>O da bana bir daha o g\u00f6zle bakmad\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Ama zamanla aram\u0131zda bundan daha sa\u011flam bir ba\u011f olu\u015ftu.<\/p>\n<p>Bir ak\u015fam avluda \u00e7ay i\u00e7erken bana,<\/p>\n<p>\u201cG\u00fclizar seni bana y\u0131llar sonra geri getirdi,\u201d dedi.<\/p>\n<p>G\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcne bakt\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Annemin y\u0131llarca saklad\u0131\u011f\u0131 s\u0131rr\u0131n beni nas\u0131l bir yoldan ge\u00e7irdi\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n<p>K\u0131rk \u00fc\u00e7 ya\u015f\u0131nda yeniden evlenerek yeni bir hayata ba\u015flayaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 sanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Oysa o konakta beni bekleyen \u015fey a\u015fk de\u011fil, kaybetti\u011fimi bile bilmedi\u011fim ailemdi.<\/p>\n<p>Bazen insan hayat\u0131n\u0131n ikinci bahar\u0131n\u0131 bir e\u015fte bulaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 san\u0131yor.<\/p>\n<p>Benim ikinci bahar\u0131m ise, y\u0131llarca eksikli\u011fini bile fark etmedi\u011fim bir ge\u00e7mi\u015fi yeniden kazanmak oldu.<\/p>\n"},"alt_text":"","media_type":"image","mime_type":"image\/jpeg","media_details":{"width":1024,"height":1024,"file":"2026\/09\/imgon1.jpg","filesize":73944,"sizes":{"medium":{"file":"imgon1-300x300.jpg","width":300,"height":300,"filesize":20932,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/imgon1-300x300.jpg"},"thumbnail":{"file":"imgon1-150x150.jpg","width":150,"height":150,"filesize":6839,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/imgon1-150x150.jpg"},"medium_large":{"file":"imgon1-768x768.jpg","width":768,"height":768,"filesize":95740,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/imgon1-768x768.jpg"},"full":{"file":"imgon1.jpg","width":1024,"height":1024,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/imgon1.jpg"}},"image_meta":{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0","keywords":[],"alt":""}},"post":489,"source_url":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/imgon1.jpg","filename":"imgon1.jpg","filesize":73944,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/491","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/attachment"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=491"}],"wp:attached-to":[{"embeddable":true,"post_type":"post","id":489,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/489"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}