{"id":696,"date":"2026-09-21T19:24:33","date_gmt":"2026-09-21T19:24:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/124126t-2.jpg"},"modified":"2026-09-21T19:25:04","modified_gmt":"2026-09-21T19:25:04","slug":"124126t-3","status":"inherit","type":"attachment","link":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/olmek-uzere-olan-karim-son-istegi-olarak-ilk-askimi-bulmami-istedi-nedenini-ogrendigimde-dizlerimin-bagi-cozuldu\/124126t-3\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00d6LMEK \u00dcZERE OLAN KARIM SON \u0130STE\u011e\u0130 OLARAK \u0130LK A\u015eKIMI BULMAMI \u0130STED\u0130 \u2014 NEDEN\u0130N\u0130 \u00d6\u011eREND\u0130\u011e\u0130MDE D\u0130ZLER\u0130M\u0130N BA\u011eI \u00c7\u00d6Z\u00dcLD\u00dc."},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":[],"class_list":["post-696","attachment","type-attachment","status-inherit","hentry"],"description":{"rendered":"<p class=\"attachment\"><a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/124126t-2.jpg'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/124126t-2-300x200.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium size-medium\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/124126t-2-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/124126t-2.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n"},"caption":{"rendered":"<p>\u201c\u0130\u00e7eri gel. Otursan iyi olur. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc sana anlataca\u011f\u0131m \u015fey, yaln\u0131zca Jale hakk\u0131nda bildiklerini de\u011fil\u2026 kendi ge\u00e7mi\u015fin hakk\u0131nda bildi\u011fin her \u015feyi de\u011fi\u015ftirecek.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Nalan\u2019\u0131n bu s\u00f6zleriyle birlikte bo\u011faz\u0131m d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmlendi.<\/p>\n<p>Kap\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde birka\u00e7 saniye \u00f6ylece kald\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Sonra i\u00e7eri girdim.<\/p>\n<p>Ev k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckt\u00fc ama s\u0131cak g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyordu. Duvarlarda eski aile foto\u011fraflar\u0131, kitaplarla dolu raflar ve pencerenin yan\u0131nda b\u00fcy\u00fck\u00e7e bir koltuk vard\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Nalan beni salona g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc.<\/p>\n<p>Ellerim titriyordu.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJale seni tan\u0131yor muydu?\u201d diye sordum.<\/p>\n<p>Nalan kar\u015f\u0131mdaki koltu\u011fa oturdu.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSand\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan \u00e7ok daha iyi tan\u0131yordu.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bu cevap i\u00e7imi daha da huzursuz etti.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNe demek istiyorsun?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Nalan bir s\u00fcre konu\u015fmad\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Sonra g\u00f6zlerini pencereye \u00e7evirdi.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSen \u015fehirden ayr\u0131ld\u0131ktan yakla\u015f\u0131k iki ay sonra hamile oldu\u011fumu \u00f6\u011frendim.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sanki biri g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcm\u00fcn ortas\u0131na yumruk atm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Nefesim kesildi.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNe?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Nalan ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 yava\u015f\u00e7a sallad\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cEvet. \u00c7ocuk sendendi.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Odan\u0131n i\u00e7inde birka\u00e7 ad\u0131m att\u0131m ama ayaklar\u0131m\u0131n alt\u0131ndaki zemin sanki hareket ediyordu.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBu m\u00fcmk\u00fcn de\u011fil. Bana hi\u00e7bir \u015fey s\u00f6ylemedin.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cS\u00f6ylemeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>D\u00f6nd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n<p>Nalan\u2019\u0131n g\u00f6zleri dolmu\u015ftu.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSeni arad\u0131m. Eski adresine mektup g\u00f6nderdim. \u00dcniversitedeki arkada\u015flar\u0131na ula\u015ft\u0131m. Sonunda \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u015firketi \u00f6\u011frendim. Bir g\u00fcn de kalk\u0131p seni bulmaya geldim.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Kalbim \u00f6yle h\u0131zl\u0131 at\u0131yordu ki sesini duyabiliyordum.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPeki?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJale\u2019yle orada kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131m.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>O an zihnim y\u0131llar \u00f6ncesine gitti.<\/p>\n<p>Jale\u2019yle tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m ilk g\u00fcnlere.<\/p>\n<p>Ben yeni i\u015fe ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Yaln\u0131zd\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Nalan\u2019\u0131n beni terk etti\u011fine inan\u0131yordum.<\/p>\n<p>Jale ayn\u0131 \u015firkette \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n<p>Bana yakla\u015fan, zor zaman\u0131mda yan\u0131mda olan oydu.<\/p>\n<p>Yakla\u015f\u0131k bir y\u0131l sonra evlenmi\u015ftik.<\/p>\n<p>Nalan masan\u0131n \u00fczerindeki ellerine bakt\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cO zamanlar Jale\u2019yi tan\u0131m\u0131yordum. Resepsiyonda seni sordum. O da yan\u0131m\u0131za geldi. Senin ni\u015fanl\u0131n oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yledi.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBen o zaman ni\u015fanl\u0131 de\u011fildim.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBiliyorum.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sesimdeki \u00f6fke y\u00fckselmi\u015fti.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNalan, ne olduysa a\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7a s\u00f6yle.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Derin bir nefes ald\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOna hamile oldu\u011fumu s\u00f6yledim. Seni g\u00f6rmem gerekti\u011fini s\u00f6yledim. Jale beni binan\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndaki kafeye g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Yutkundu.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cVe bana senin art\u0131k beni istemedi\u011fini s\u00f6yledi.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u0130\u00e7im buz kesti.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNe?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSenin benimle ilgili konu\u015ftu\u011funu, ge\u00e7mi\u015fi kapatt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ve yeni bir hayata ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yledi. Hatta bebe\u011fin senden oldu\u011funa inanmayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 da s\u00f6yledi\u011fini anlatt\u0131.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBen b\u00f6yle bir \u015fey s\u00f6ylemedim!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sesim evin i\u00e7inde yank\u0131land\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Nalan g\u00f6zlerini kapatt\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBunu \u015fimdi biliyorum.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 iki elimin aras\u0131na ald\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>K\u0131rk y\u0131l boyunca Nalan\u2019\u0131n beni reddetti\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm.<\/p>\n<p>O ise benim onu ve \u00e7ocu\u011fumuzu reddetti\u011fime inanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPeki neden gidip do\u011frudan beni bulmad\u0131n?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDenedim.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bu kez Nalan kalkt\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Bir \u00e7ekmeceyi a\u00e7\u0131p sararm\u0131\u015f bir zarf \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131<\/p>\n"},"alt_text":"","media_type":"image","mime_type":"image\/jpeg","media_details":{"width":768,"height":512,"file":"2026\/09\/124126t-2.jpg","filesize":39124,"sizes":{"medium":{"file":"124126t-2-300x200.jpg","width":300,"height":200,"filesize":10342,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/124126t-2-300x200.jpg"},"thumbnail":{"file":"124126t-2-150x150.jpg","width":150,"height":150,"filesize":4320,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/124126t-2-150x150.jpg"},"full":{"file":"124126t-2.jpg","width":768,"height":512,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/124126t-2.jpg"}},"image_meta":{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0","keywords":[],"alt":""}},"post":695,"source_url":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/124126t-2.jpg","filename":"124126t-2.jpg","filesize":39124,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/696","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/attachment"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=696"}],"wp:attached-to":[{"embeddable":true,"post_type":"post","id":695,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/695"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}