{"id":858,"date":"2026-09-24T20:55:45","date_gmt":"2026-09-24T20:55:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/imgonl11.jpg"},"modified":"2026-09-24T20:56:12","modified_gmt":"2026-09-24T20:56:12","slug":"imgonl11","status":"inherit","type":"attachment","link":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/esimin-olumunden-sonra-arabasini-satmaya-karar-verdim-torpidoyu-temizlerken-buldugum-ikinci-ruhsatta-esimin-baska-bir-ailesinin-adi-yaziyordu\/imgonl11\/","title":{"rendered":"E\u015e\u0130M\u0130N \u00d6L\u00dcM\u00dcNDEN SONRA ARABASINI SATMAYA KARAR VERD\u0130M \u2014 TORP\u0130DOYU TEM\u0130ZLERKEN BULDU\u011eUM \u0130K\u0130NC\u0130 RUHSATTA E\u015e\u0130M\u0130N BA\u015eKA B\u0130R A\u0130LES\u0130N\u0130N ADI YAZIYORDU."},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":[],"class_list":["post-858","attachment","type-attachment","status-inherit","hentry"],"description":{"rendered":"<p class=\"attachment\"><a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/imgonl11.jpg'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/imgonl11-300x300.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium size-medium\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/imgonl11-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/imgonl11-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/imgonl11-768x768.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/imgonl11.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n"},"caption":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cBunu okuyorsan, sana anlatmaya korktu\u011fum hayat art\u0131k benden daha uzun ya\u015famaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f demektir.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Mektubu elimde tutup Aylin\u2019e bakt\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBana ger\u00e7e\u011fi sen anlat.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Derin bir nefes ald\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Murat\u2019la y\u0131llar \u00f6nce tan\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015flar.<\/p>\n<p>Murat, i\u015f i\u00e7in \u015fehir d\u0131\u015f\u0131na gidip geldi\u011fini s\u00f6yledi\u011fi d\u00f6nemde Aylin\u2019le ili\u015fki ya\u015famaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f.<\/p>\n<p>Aylin, Murat\u2019\u0131n evli oldu\u011funu bilmiyormu\u015f.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBana e\u015finin y\u0131llar \u00f6nce \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc s\u00f6yledi,\u201d dedi.<\/p>\n<p>\u00d6fkeyle g\u00fcld\u00fcm.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHarika.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Aylin\u2019in g\u00f6zleri doldu.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGer\u00e7e\u011fi \u00f6\u011frendi\u011fimde o\u011flumuz dokuz ya\u015f\u0131ndayd\u0131.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cO\u011flunuz\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Kelime a\u011fz\u0131mdan zor \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Tam o s\u0131rada koridordan ayak sesleri geldi.<\/p>\n<p>Foto\u011fraftaki \u00e7ocuk art\u0131k yeti\u015fkin olmu\u015ftu.<\/p>\n<p>Yakla\u015f\u0131k yirmili ya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n sonlar\u0131ndayd\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Kap\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131nda durdu.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnne?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Aylin ona bakt\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cEmre, bu\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Gen\u00e7 adam bana bakt\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Y\u00fcz\u00fcnde Murat\u2019\u0131n gen\u00e7li\u011finden par\u00e7alar g\u00f6rd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n<p>Ka\u015flar\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u00c7enesi.<\/p>\n<p>Bak\u0131\u015f\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Bir insan\u0131n ger\u00e7e\u011fi ink\u00e2r edebilece\u011fi b\u00fct\u00fcn alanlar o anda kapand\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Emre sessizce:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBabam\u0131n e\u015fisiniz, de\u011fil mi?\u201d dedi.<\/p>\n<p>Ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 sallad\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cEvet.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>G\u00f6zlerini indirdi.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c\u00d6z\u00fcr dilerim.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNeden sen \u00f6z\u00fcr diliyorsun?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc bizim varl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n size zarar verdi\u011fini biliyorum.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bu c\u00fcmle \u00f6fkemi biraz k\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc kar\u015f\u0131mda su\u00e7lu biri de\u011fil, benim gibi bir yalan\u0131n i\u00e7inde b\u00fcy\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f ba\u015fka biri vard\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Murat\u2019\u0131n mektubunu okumaya devam ettim.<\/p>\n<p>Ger\u00e7ek d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmden daha karma\u015f\u0131kt\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Murat iki hayat\u0131n\u0131 da y\u0131llarca birbirinden saklam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Aylin ger\u00e7e\u011fi \u00f6\u011frendi\u011finde ayr\u0131lmak istemi\u015f.<\/p>\n<p>Ama Emre k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckm\u00fc\u015f.<\/p>\n<p>Murat ise zamanla her \u015feyi d\u00fczeltece\u011fini s\u00f6ylemi\u015f.<\/p>\n<p>Hi\u00e7 d\u00fczeltememi\u015f.<\/p>\n<p>Yaln\u0131zca yalanlar\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fctm\u00fc\u015f.<\/p>\n<p>Mektupta \u015f\u00f6yle yaz\u0131yordu:<\/p>\n<p>\u201c\u0130kinizi de sevdi\u011fimi s\u00f6ylemek yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u015feyi hakl\u0131 \u00e7\u0131karmaz. Sevgi, d\u00fcr\u00fcstl\u00fck olmadan insana s\u0131\u011f\u0131nak de\u011fil, bazen yaln\u0131zca iyi d\u00f6\u015fenmi\u015f bir yalan olur.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>G\u00f6zlerim doldu.<\/p>\n<p>Bu c\u00fcmleyi Murat hayattayken duymak isterdim.<\/p>\n<p>Belki ona ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Belki evi terk ederdim.<\/p>\n<p>Belki onu affetmezdim.<\/p>\n<p>Ama en az\u0131ndan se\u00e7im bana ait olurdu.<\/p>\n<p>Murat o se\u00e7imi benden alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Mektubun sonunda arabadan bahsediyordu.<\/p>\n<p>Eski Murat 131\u2019den.<\/p>\n<p>Me\u011fer araba y\u0131llar \u00f6nce Aylin\u2019in \u00fczerine kay\u0131tl\u0131ym\u0131\u015f.<\/p>\n<p>Murat onu k\u0131sa s\u00fcreli\u011fine kullanmak i\u00e7in alm\u0131\u015f, sonra birtak\u0131m bor\u00e7 meseleleri y\u00fcz\u00fcnden ruhsat i\u015flemleri yar\u0131m kalm\u0131\u015f.<\/p>\n<p>\u0130kinci ruhsat bu y\u00fczden torpidodaym\u0131\u015f.<\/p>\n<p>Ama araba daha \u00f6nemli bir \u015feyin de par\u00e7as\u0131ym\u0131\u015f.<\/p>\n<p>Emre \u00e7ocukken Murat onu s\u0131k s\u0131k o arabayla gezmeye g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015f.<\/p>\n<p>Foto\u011fraf\u0131n arkas\u0131ndaki \u201cBabam\u0131zla ilk uzun yolculu\u011fumuz\u201d yaz\u0131s\u0131 da o g\u00fcnlerden kalmaym\u0131\u015f.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBabam\u0131z\u201d kelimesini neden \u00e7o\u011ful yazd\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 sordum.<\/p>\n<p>Emre ac\u0131 bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemeyle:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cKuzenim de yan\u0131m\u0131zdayd\u0131. Foto\u011fraf\u0131 o yazm\u0131\u015ft\u0131,\u201d dedi.<\/p>\n<p>Aylar boyunca kafam\u0131 kurcalayacak sand\u0131\u011f\u0131m k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir ayr\u0131nt\u0131 bile sonunda anlam\u0131n\u0131 bulmu\u015ftu.<\/p>\n<p>Ama as\u0131l mesele de\u011fi\u015fmiyordu.<\/p>\n<p>Murat bize yalan s\u00f6ylemi\u015fti.<\/p>\n<p>\u0130kimize de.<\/p>\n<p>O g\u00fcn saatlerce konu\u015ftuk.<\/p>\n<p>Aylin bana Murat\u2019\u0131n ba\u015fka t\u00fcrl\u00fc davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 anlatt\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Ben ona benimle ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 hayat\u0131 anlatt\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Tuhaf olan \u015fuydu:<\/p>\n<p>Ayn\u0131 adam\u0131 tan\u0131yorduk ama asl\u0131nda iki farkl\u0131 Murat tan\u0131m\u0131\u015ft\u0131k.<\/p>\n<p>Bana pazar kahvalt\u0131s\u0131 haz\u0131rlayan adam, onlara cumartesi ak\u015fam\u0131 yemek yap\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n<p>Bana i\u015f seyahati dedi\u011fi g\u00fcnler, Emre\u2019nin okul g\u00f6sterilerinde bulunuyordu.<\/p>\n<p>Onlara \u015fehir d\u0131\u015f\u0131 i\u015fi dedi\u011fi g\u00fcnlerde ise benim yan\u0131mdayd\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Bir hayat\u0131 ikiye b\u00f6lm\u00fc\u015f, ikisini de eksik b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Eve d\u00f6nerken Murat 131\u2019i kullanmak istemedim.<\/p>\n<p>Ama direksiyona oturdu\u011fumda bir \u015fey fark ettim.<\/p>\n<p>Dikiz aynas\u0131n\u0131n kenar\u0131nda s\u0131k\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck bir k\u00e2\u011f\u0131t vard\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Daha \u00f6nce g\u00f6rmemi\u015ftim.<\/p>\n<p>\u00dczerinde Murat\u2019\u0131n el yaz\u0131s\u0131yla tek c\u00fcmle yaz\u0131yordu:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBu arabay\u0131 satmadan \u00f6nce her \u015feyi \u00f6\u011fren.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 direksiyona yaslad\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>O anda \u00f6fkem yeniden kabard\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u00d6ld\u00fckten sonra bile bana yol g\u00f6stermeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHer \u015feyi neden ya\u015farken anlatmad\u0131n?\u201d diye f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Cevap gelmedi.<\/p>\n<p>Elbette gelmeyecekti.<\/p>\n<p>Sonraki hafta arabay\u0131 satma ilan\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131rd\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Ama Murat istedi diye de\u011fil.<\/p>\n<p>Aylin ve Emre\u2019yi arad\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Emre\u2019ye:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cArabay\u0131 ister misin?\u201d diye sordum.<\/p>\n<p>Uzun s\u00fcre sustu.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cEmin misiniz?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDe\u011filim.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bu kez d\u00fcr\u00fcst olmak istedim.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAma bu araba benim i\u00e7in art\u0131k g\u00fczel bir hat\u0131radan \u00e7ok, yar\u0131m b\u0131rak\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir ger\u00e7e\u011fin par\u00e7as\u0131.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Emre kabul etmedi.<\/p>\n<p>Onun yerine ba\u015fka bir \u015fey \u00f6nerdi.<\/p>\n<p>Arabay\u0131 beraber tamir ettirelim.<\/p>\n<p>Sonra satal\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Paras\u0131n\u0131 da ikiye b\u00f6lmeyelim.<\/p>\n<p>\u00dc\u00e7\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcn ortak karar\u0131yla, kad\u0131nlara ve \u00e7ocuklara destek veren yerel bir kurulu\u015fa ba\u011f\u0131\u015flayal\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBabam\u0131n yalan\u0131ndan bari d\u00fczg\u00fcn bir \u015fey \u00e7\u0131ks\u0131n,\u201d dedi.<\/p>\n<p>Bu fikir ilk kez i\u00e7imde bir a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131 hafifletti.<\/p>\n<p>Birka\u00e7 ay sonra Murat 131\u2019i birlikte son kez y\u0131kad\u0131k.<\/p>\n<p>Ben, Aylin ve Emre.<\/p>\n<p>Araba sat\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131nda a\u011flamad\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Anahtarlar\u0131 yeni sahibine verirken yaln\u0131zca kaportas\u0131na son kez dokundum.<\/p>\n<p>Murat\u2019\u0131 h\u00e2l\u00e2 \u00f6zl\u00fcyordum.<\/p>\n<p>Ayn\u0131 zamanda ona k\u0131zg\u0131nd\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Bu iki duygu birbirini yok etmiyordu.<\/p>\n<p>\u0130nsan\u0131n birine duydu\u011fu sevginin, onun yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 yanl\u0131\u015flar\u0131 silmedi\u011fini sonunda anlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Murat\u2019\u0131n \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden sonra \u00f6\u011frendi\u011fim en ac\u0131 \u015fey onun ba\u015fka bir ailesinin olmas\u0131 de\u011fildi.<\/p>\n<p>As\u0131l ac\u0131 olan, ger\u00e7e\u011fi bilme hakk\u0131m\u0131 y\u0131llarca elimden alm\u0131\u015f olmas\u0131yd\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Ama onun yalan\u0131yla ne yapaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 se\u00e7me hakk\u0131 h\u00e2l\u00e2 bendeydi.<\/p>\n<p>Ve ben hayat\u0131m\u0131n geri kalan\u0131n\u0131 ba\u015fka bir kad\u0131ndan nefret ederek ge\u00e7irmek yerine, ikimizin de ayn\u0131 yalan\u0131n kurban\u0131 oldu\u011funu kabul etmeyi se\u00e7tim.<\/p>\n<p>Murat 131 o g\u00fcn garajdan son kez \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Arkas\u0131ndan bakarken i\u00e7imden tek bir c\u00fcmle ge\u00e7ti:<\/p>\n<p>Baz\u0131 insanlar\u0131n ard\u0131ndan kalan en b\u00fcy\u00fck miras, b\u0131rakt\u0131klar\u0131 e\u015fyalar de\u011fildir.<\/p>\n<p>Bazen bize b\u0131rakt\u0131klar\u0131 \u015fey, onlar\u0131n yapamad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 yapma f\u0131rsat\u0131d\u0131r: ger\u00e7e\u011fi saklamadan ya\u015famak.<\/p>\n"},"alt_text":"","media_type":"image","mime_type":"image\/jpeg","media_details":{"width":1024,"height":1024,"file":"2026\/09\/imgonl11.jpg","filesize":159548,"sizes":{"medium":{"file":"imgonl11-300x300.jpg","width":300,"height":300,"filesize":23433,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/imgonl11-300x300.jpg"},"thumbnail":{"file":"imgonl11-150x150.jpg","width":150,"height":150,"filesize":6812,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/imgonl11-150x150.jpg"},"medium_large":{"file":"imgonl11-768x768.jpg","width":768,"height":768,"filesize":119878,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/imgonl11-768x768.jpg"},"full":{"file":"imgonl11.jpg","width":1024,"height":1024,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/imgonl11.jpg"}},"image_meta":{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0","keywords":[],"alt":""}},"post":856,"source_url":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/imgonl11.jpg","filename":"imgonl11.jpg","filesize":159548,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/858","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/attachment"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=858"}],"wp:attached-to":[{"embeddable":true,"post_type":"post","id":856,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/856"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}