{"id":887,"date":"2026-09-24T22:20:38","date_gmt":"2026-09-24T22:20:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/cocuk-montlari.jpg"},"modified":"2026-09-24T22:20:41","modified_gmt":"2026-09-24T22:20:41","slug":"cocuk-montlari","status":"inherit","type":"attachment","link":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/ikiz-kizlarimdan-birini-kaybettikten-sonra-kocam-beni-terk-etti\/cocuk-montlari\/","title":{"rendered":"cocuk montlari"},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":[],"class_list":["post-887","attachment","type-attachment","status-inherit","hentry"],"description":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n"},"caption":{"rendered":"

Ve Ekin kurtulmu\u015ftu.<\/p>\n

Sandalyeden kalkt\u0131m.<\/p>\n

\u201cHay\u0131r.\u201d<\/p>\n

Babam sessizdi.<\/p>\n

\u201cHay\u0131r! Madem kurtuldu, neden bana \u00f6ld\u00fc dediler?\u201d<\/p>\n

Babam o anda y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc ellerinin aras\u0131na ald\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ger\u00e7ek, mektubun sonraki sayfas\u0131ndayd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Ekin\u2019in tedavisi s\u0131ras\u0131nda hastanedeki dosya kar\u0131\u015f\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 gizlemek isteyen baz\u0131 y\u00f6neticiler b\u00fcy\u00fck bir hata yapm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u0130lk \u00f6l\u00fcm bildirimi yanl\u0131\u015f d\u00fczenlenmi\u015f, ard\u0131ndan olay hukuki bir soru\u015fturmaya d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Cemal, Ekin\u2019i ba\u015fka bir merkeze sevk ettirmi\u015fti.<\/p>\n

Ama o s\u00fcre\u00e7te Ekin\u2019in biyolojik ailesi ortaya \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n

Mahkeme ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n

Velayet tart\u0131\u015fmas\u0131 \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n

Ve Cemal korkun\u00e7 bir karar vermi\u015fti.<\/p>\n

Beni korudu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnerek bana ger\u00e7e\u011fi s\u00f6ylememi\u015fti.<\/p>\n

Mektupta \u015f\u00f6yle yaz\u0131yordu:<\/p>\n

\u201cSana Ekin\u2019in ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yleseydim onu g\u00f6rmek i\u00e7in d\u00fcnyay\u0131 yakard\u0131n. Ama o s\u0131rada mahkeme, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n kimli\u011fini bile gizli tutuyordu. Ekin\u2019in biyolojik ailesi onu geri istiyordu. Seni bir kez daha kaybetmekten korktum. Bu y\u00fczden hayat\u0131m\u0131n en b\u00fcy\u00fck korkakl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 yapt\u0131m.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cemal evi terk ettikten sonra asl\u0131nda Ekin\u2019in pe\u015finden gitmi\u015fti.<\/p>\n

Aylarca s\u00fcren dava boyunca yan\u0131nda kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n

Sonunda mahkeme, Ekin\u2019in biyolojik ailesiyle ya\u015famas\u0131na karar vermi\u015fti.<\/p>\n

Cemal ise onu yaln\u0131z b\u0131rakmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n

Y\u0131llarca ba\u015fka \u015fehirde, uzaktan da olsa hayat\u0131n\u0131n i\u00e7inde kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u201cPeki neden geri d\u00f6nmedi?\u201d diye ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Babam g\u00f6zlerini kald\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u201c\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc sana d\u00f6nmeye y\u00fcz\u00fc yoktu.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSen biliyordun.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bu iki kelime mutfa\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7inde as\u0131l\u0131 kald\u0131.<\/p>\n

Babam ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 e\u011fdi.<\/p>\n

\u201cEvet.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00d6fkem bir anda ona y\u00f6neldi.<\/p>\n

\u201cOn \u00fc\u00e7 y\u0131l boyunca k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeme izin verdin.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCemal bana her \u015feyi anlatt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda Ekin \u00e7oktan yeni ailesinin yan\u0131ndayd\u0131. Dava gizlilik karar\u0131yla kapanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Sana s\u00f6ylersem i\u015fleri daha da k\u00f6t\u00fcle\u015ftirece\u011finden korktum.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBen onun annesiydim!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBiliyorum.\u201d<\/p>\n

Babam\u0131n sesi k\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u201cVe hayat\u0131m boyunca bunun y\u00fck\u00fcn\u00fc ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131m.\u201d<\/p>\n

Kutunun i\u00e7inde ba\u015fka belgeler de vard\u0131. Y\u0131llar boyunca \u00e7ekilmi\u015f Ekin foto\u011fraflar\u0131\u2026 \u0130lk okul g\u00fcn\u00fc. Bir do\u011fum g\u00fcn\u00fc pastas\u0131. Mezuniyet t\u00f6reni.<\/p>\n

Son foto\u011fraf ise yaln\u0131zca birka\u00e7 ay \u00f6ncesine aitti.<\/p>\n

Ekin art\u0131k gen\u00e7 bir kad\u0131nd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Nisan\u2019\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcn neredeyse ayn\u0131s\u0131yd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Foto\u011fraf\u0131n arkas\u0131nda bir adres vard\u0131.<\/p>\n

Alt\u0131nda tek c\u00fcmle:<\/p>\n

\u201cHaz\u0131r oldu\u011funda burada olaca\u011f\u0131m.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ertesi sabah Nisan\u2019a her \u015feyi anlatt\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Saatlerce konu\u015fmad\u0131.<\/p>\n

Foto\u011fraflara tek tek bakt\u0131.<\/p>\n

Sonra a\u011flamaya ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u201cYani benim bir karde\u015fim var.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSana h\u00e2l\u00e2 karde\u015fin oldu\u011funu s\u00f6ylemek daha do\u011fru.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u0130ki g\u00fcn sonra arabaya bindik.<\/p>\n

Adres, \u0130stanbul\u2019un d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda sakin bir sahil kasabas\u0131ndayd\u0131. Yol boyunca ne Nisan konu\u015ftu ne ben.<\/p>\n

Kap\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcne geldi\u011fimizde kalbim g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcm\u00fc par\u00e7alayacak gibiydi.<\/p>\n

Zile bast\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Kap\u0131y\u0131 orta ya\u015fl\u0131 bir kad\u0131n a\u00e7t\u0131.<\/p>\n

Beni g\u00f6r\u00fcr g\u00f6rmez kim oldu\u011fumu anlad\u0131.<\/p>\n

G\u00f6zleri doldu.<\/p>\n

\u201cSen Nisan\u2019\u0131n annesisin.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cevap veremedim.<\/p>\n

Kad\u0131n arkas\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6nd\u00fc.<\/p>\n

\u201cEkin!\u201d<\/p>\n

O ad\u0131 duydu\u011fum anda y\u0131llard\u0131r i\u00e7imde kapal\u0131 duran bir kap\u0131 k\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131.<\/p>\n

Koridorun sonunda gen\u00e7 bir k\u0131z belirdi.<\/p>\n

Nisan yan\u0131mda nefesini tuttu.<\/p>\n

Ekin bize bakt\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u00d6nce bana.<\/p>\n

Sonra Nisan\u2019a.<\/p>\n

G\u00f6zlerinden ya\u015flar s\u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fc.<\/p>\n

\u201cSen ger\u00e7ekten geldin.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bacaklar\u0131m beni ta\u015f\u0131mad\u0131.<\/p>\n

Ekin ko\u015farak bana sar\u0131ld\u0131.<\/p>\n

On \u00fc\u00e7 y\u0131l boyunca zihnimde be\u015f ya\u015f\u0131nda kalan k\u0131z\u0131m art\u0131k benden neredeyse uzundu.<\/p>\n

Sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131n kokusunu i\u00e7ime \u00e7ektim.<\/p>\n

Onu b\u0131rakmaya korkuyordum.<\/p>\n

Sonra Nisan yakla\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u0130ki k\u0131z birbirlerine uzun s\u00fcre bakt\u0131lar.<\/p>\n

Ekin titreyen bir sesle:<\/p>\n

\u201cDo\u011fum g\u00fcn\u00fcn kutlu olsun,\u201d dedi.<\/p>\n

Nisan a\u011flayarak g\u00fcld\u00fc.<\/p>\n

\u201cSeninkileri ka\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131m i\u00e7in \u00f6z\u00fcr dilerim.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u0130kisi birbirine sar\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131nda hayat\u0131mda ilk kez hem kalbimin k\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hem de ayn\u0131 anda iyile\u015fti\u011fini hissettim.<\/p>\n

Ama bir ki\u015fi eksikti.<\/p>\n

\u201cCemal nerede?\u201d diye sordum.<\/p>\n

Ekin\u2019in y\u00fcz\u00fc de\u011fi\u015fti.<\/p>\n

Sessizce oturma odas\u0131na ge\u00e7ti ve bir \u00e7ekmeceden ba\u015fka bir zarf getirdi.<\/p>\n

\u201cBabam bunu sana b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBabam m\u0131?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ekin ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sallad\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u201cBen ona hep baba dedim.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ellerim yeniden titremeye ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u201cPeki nerede?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ekin\u2019in g\u00f6zleri doldu.<\/p>\n

\u201cGe\u00e7en y\u0131l kalp krizinden \u00f6ld\u00fc.\u201d<\/p>\n

O an i\u00e7imde y\u0131llarca b\u00fcy\u00fctt\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm b\u00fct\u00fcn \u00f6fke y\u00f6n\u00fcn\u00fc kaybetti.<\/p>\n

Cemal\u2019e hesap sormak istemi\u015ftim.<\/p>\n

Ona ba\u011f\u0131rmak, neden hayat\u0131m\u0131 mahvetti\u011fini sormak istemi\u015ftim.<\/p>\n

Art\u0131k hi\u00e7birini yapamayacakt\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Mektubunu a\u00e7t\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Uzun de\u011fildi.<\/p>\n

\u201cBeni affetmeni istemiyorum. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc baz\u0131 kararlar\u0131n affedilecek taraf\u0131 yoktur. Seni korudu\u011fumu sand\u0131m ama senden se\u00e7im hakk\u0131n\u0131 ald\u0131m. Bunun bedelini her g\u00fcn \u00f6dedim. Ekin\u2019i hi\u00e7bir zaman senden koparmak istemedim. Sadece onu kaybetmekten korktum. E\u011fer bir g\u00fcn yeniden kar\u015f\u0131la\u015f\u0131rsan\u0131z, ona benim y\u00fcz\u00fcmden kaybetti\u011finiz y\u0131llar\u0131 de\u011fil, \u00f6n\u00fcn\u00fczde kalan y\u0131llar\u0131 hat\u0131rlat. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ge\u00e7mi\u015fi d\u00fczeltemedim ama umar\u0131m gelece\u011finizi tamamen yok etmemi\u015fimdir.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mektubu bitirdi\u011fimde a\u011fl\u0131yordum.<\/p>\n

Cemal\u2019in yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015feyi do\u011fru bulmuyordum.<\/p>\n

Babam\u0131n susmas\u0131n\u0131 da.<\/p>\n

On \u00fc\u00e7 y\u0131l\u0131m geri gelmeyecekti.<\/p>\n

Ekin\u2019in ilk okul g\u00fcn\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6rememi\u015ftim. \u0130lk arkada\u015f\u0131n\u0131, ilk ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131n\u0131, korkular\u0131n\u0131, ergenli\u011fini, mezuniyetini ka\u00e7\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Ama \u00f6n\u00fcmde ya\u015fayan bir k\u0131z\u0131m vard\u0131.<\/p>\n

Kar\u015f\u0131mda da y\u0131llarca \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcne inand\u0131\u011f\u0131 karde\u015fine sar\u0131lan Nisan.<\/p>\n

O g\u00fcn anlad\u0131m ki affetmek, yap\u0131lanlar\u0131 do\u011fru kabul etmek de\u011fildi.<\/p>\n

Bazen affetmek, ge\u00e7mi\u015fin gelece\u011fini de elinden almas\u0131na izin vermemekti.<\/p>\n

Aylar sonra Ekin ile Nisan birlikte on dokuzuncu ya\u015f g\u00fcnlerini kutlad\u0131lar.<\/p>\n

Masada iki pasta vard\u0131.<\/p>\n

Babam da yan\u0131m\u0131zdayd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Konu\u015fmalar\u0131n aras\u0131nda zaman zaman sessizlik oluyordu; \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc baz\u0131 yaralar bir kutlama masas\u0131nda bile kendisini hat\u0131rlat\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Fakat o sessizlikler art\u0131k bo\u015f de\u011fildi.<\/p>\n

\u0130\u00e7lerinde yeniden tan\u0131\u015fmalar, ka\u00e7\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f y\u0131llar\u0131 tamamlama \u00e7abalar\u0131 ve yava\u015f yava\u015f kurulan bir aile vard\u0131.<\/p>\n

O gece k\u0131zlar mumlar\u0131 birlikte \u00fcflerken Ekin elimi tuttu.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnne,\u201d dedi.<\/p>\n

Bu kelimeyi ondan ilk kez duyuyordum.<\/p>\n

G\u00f6zlerimi kapatt\u0131m.<\/p>\n

On \u00fc\u00e7 y\u0131l boyunca mezar\u0131na s\u00f6yledi\u011fim b\u00fct\u00fcn c\u00fcmleleri d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n

Sonra k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n elini s\u0131kt\u0131m.<\/p>\n

\u201cBuraday\u0131m.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ge\u00e7mi\u015f bize geri verilmedi.<\/p>\n

Kimse yapt\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131n bedelinden kurtulmad\u0131.<\/p>\n

Ama hayat bazen kaybettiklerimizi ayn\u0131 \u015fekilde geri getirmez.<\/p>\n

Bazen onlar\u0131 bamba\u015fka bir kap\u0131dan, y\u0131llar sonra yeniden kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131za \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Ve insan\u0131n yapabilece\u011fi en do\u011fru \u015fey, o kap\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131nda ge\u00e7mi\u015fin hesab\u0131n\u0131 unutmadan, gelece\u011fi cezaland\u0131rmamay\u0131 se\u00e7mektir.<\/p>\n"},"alt_text":"","media_type":"image","mime_type":"image\/jpeg","media_details":{"width":1024,"height":1024,"file":"2026\/09\/cocuk-montlari.jpg","filesize":213109,"sizes":{"medium":{"file":"cocuk-montlari-300x300.jpg","width":300,"height":300,"filesize":19900,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/cocuk-montlari-300x300.jpg"},"thumbnail":{"file":"cocuk-montlari-150x150.jpg","width":150,"height":150,"filesize":6497,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/cocuk-montlari-150x150.jpg"},"medium_large":{"file":"cocuk-montlari-768x768.jpg","width":768,"height":768,"filesize":96324,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/cocuk-montlari-768x768.jpg"},"full":{"file":"cocuk-montlari.jpg","width":1024,"height":1024,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/cocuk-montlari.jpg"}},"image_meta":{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0","keywords":[],"alt":""}},"post":885,"source_url":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/cocuk-montlari.jpg","filename":"cocuk-montlari.jpg","filesize":213109,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/887","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/attachment"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=887"}],"wp:attached-to":[{"embeddable":true,"post_type":"post","id":885,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/885"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}