{"id":1190,"date":"2026-10-03T22:50:28","date_gmt":"2026-10-03T22:50:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/?p=1190"},"modified":"2026-10-03T22:50:28","modified_gmt":"2026-10-03T22:50:28","slug":"kolumu-kirdim-ve-esimden-bes-aylik-ikizlerimize-bakarken-bana-yardim-etmesini-istedim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/kolumu-kirdim-ve-esimden-bes-aylik-ikizlerimize-bakarken-bana-yardim-etmesini-istedim\/","title":{"rendered":"Kolumu k\u0131rd\u0131m ve e\u015fimden be\u015f ayl\u0131k ikizlerimize bakarken bana yard\u0131m etmesini istedim."},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t\t<style>\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 {\n\t\t\t\tmargin: auto;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-item {\n\t\t\t\tfloat: left;\n\t\t\t\tmargin-top: 10px;\n\t\t\t\ttext-align: center;\n\t\t\t\twidth: 33%;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 img {\n\t\t\t\tborder: 2px solid #cfcfcf;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-caption {\n\t\t\t\tmargin-left: 0;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t\/* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes\/media.php *\/\n\t\t<\/style>\n\t\t<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-1190 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/kolumu-kirdim-ve-esimden-bes-aylik-ikizlerimize-bakarken-bana-yardim-etmesini-istedim\/attachment\/222222222\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/222222222-150x150.webp\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-1191\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-1191'>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cKolumu k\u0131rd\u0131m ve e\u015fimden be\u015f ayl\u0131k ikizlerimize bakarken bana yard\u0131m etmesini istedim. Ancak bunu reddedip so\u011fuk bir \u015fekilde, \u2018Annelerin hastal\u0131k izni olmaz!\u2019 dedi. Ben de ona unutamayaca\u011f\u0131 bir ders vermeye karar verdim.\u201d\n\nO ak\u015fam salondaki masan\u0131n \u00fczerinde duran \u015feyi g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde Baran\u2019\u0131n neden y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcn bembeyaz oldu\u011funu \u00e7ok iyi biliyordum.\n\nMasan\u0131n \u00fczerinde \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n mama saatlerinden doktor randevular\u0131na, gece uyanmalar\u0131ndan alt de\u011fi\u015ftirme d\u00fczenine kadar her \u015feyi tek tek yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131m kal\u0131n bir dosya vard\u0131.\n\nDosyan\u0131n hemen yan\u0131nda da evin yedek anahtar\u0131, annemin telefon numaras\u0131 ve Baran\u2019\u0131n hi\u00e7 beklemedi\u011fi bir not duruyordu.\n\nBaran birka\u00e7 saniye hi\u00e7bir \u015fey s\u00f6ylemeden dosyaya bakt\u0131.\n\nSonra bana d\u00f6nd\u00fc.\n\n\u201cBu ne?\u201d\n\nSesindeki \u00f6fke a\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7a duyuluyordu.\n\n\u201cOkursan anlars\u0131n.\u201d\n\nDosyan\u0131n ilk sayfas\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131.\n\nEn \u00fcstte b\u00fcy\u00fck harflerle \u015funu yazm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m:\n\n\u201c\u0130K\u0130ZLER\u0130N B\u0130R G\u00dcNL\u00dcK BAKIM PLANI\u201d\n\nBaran alayc\u0131 bir kahkaha att\u0131.\n\n\u201cBana \u00e7ocuk bakma talimat\u0131 m\u0131 haz\u0131rlad\u0131n?\u201d\n\n\u201cHay\u0131r.\u201d\n\n\u00c7antam\u0131 omzuma takmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rken k\u0131r\u0131k kolum s\u0131zlad\u0131.\n\n\u201cSen zaten \u00e7ocuk bakman\u0131n hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yapmak oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yledin. Ben de d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm ki bunu benden daha kolay yapars\u0131n.\u201d\n\nBaran bir anda sustu.\n\nSonra g\u00f6zleri \u00e7antama kayd\u0131.\n\n\u201cNereye gidiyorsun?\u201d\n\n\u201cAnnemlere.\u201d\n\nKa\u015flar\u0131 \u00e7at\u0131ld\u0131.\n\n\u201c\u00c7ocuklarla m\u0131?\u201d\n\nBa\u015f\u0131m\u0131 iki yana sallad\u0131m.\n\n\u201cHay\u0131r. \u00c7ocuklar seninle kalacak.\u201d\n\n\u0130\u015fte o an y\u00fcz\u00fcndeki ifade de\u011fi\u015fti.\n\nAz \u00f6nce beni k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcmseyen adam gitmi\u015f, yerine ne yapaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilemeyen biri gelmi\u015fti.\n\n\u201c\u015eaka yap\u0131yorsun.\u201d\n\n\u201cHay\u0131r.\u201d\n\n\u201c\u0130ki bebekle beni yaln\u0131z m\u0131 b\u0131rakacaks\u0131n?\u201d\n\nBu kez ben ona, g\u00fcnler \u00f6nce bana bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015fekilde bakt\u0131m.\n\nOmuz silktim.\n\n\u201cSenin deyiminle, b\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn evde oturup hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yapmayacaks\u0131n.\u201d\n\nY\u00fcz\u00fc gerildi.\n\n\u201cBen yar\u0131n i\u015fe gidece\u011fim!\u201d\n\n\u201cBen de doktora gidece\u011fim. Sonra dinlenece\u011fim. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc doktorun verdi\u011fi talimatlara uymad\u0131\u011f\u0131m i\u00e7in kolumun daha k\u00f6t\u00fc iyile\u015fme riski var.\u201d\n\nBaran masaya yumru\u011funu vurdu.\n\n\u201cHay\u0131r! Bunu bana yapamazs\u0131n! Buna nas\u0131l cesaret edersin?\u201d\n\nO anda \u015fa\u015f\u0131rt\u0131c\u0131 \u015fekilde sakin oldu\u011fumu fark ettim.\n\nBelki de insan yeterince yoruldu\u011funda ba\u011f\u0131racak g\u00fcc\u00fc bile kalm\u0131yordu.\n\n\u201cBen sana hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yapm\u0131yorum, Baran. Bunlar senin \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n.\u201d\n\nTam o s\u0131rada bebeklerden biri a\u011flamaya ba\u015flad\u0131.\n\nArd\u0131ndan di\u011feri de ona kat\u0131ld\u0131.\n\nBaran g\u00f6zlerini tavana kald\u0131rd\u0131.\n\n\u201c\u015eimdi ne istiyorlar?\u201d\n\nBu soru i\u00e7imde bir \u015feyleri kopard\u0131.\n\nBe\u015f ayd\u0131r her a\u011flamalar\u0131n\u0131n tonundan bile neye ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131 oldu\u011funu anlayacak hale gelmi\u015ftim.\n\nAma babalar\u0131, kendi \u00e7ocuklar\u0131na bak\u0131p \u201cNe istiyorlar?\u201d diyordu.\n\n\u201cDosyada yaz\u0131yor.\u201d\n\nKap\u0131ya y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fcm.\n\nBaran arkamdan seslendi.\n\n\u201cGer\u00e7ekten gidecek misin?\u201d\n\nDurdum.\n\nArkam\u0131 d\u00f6nmeden cevap verdim.\n\n\u201cEvet.\u201d\n\n\u201cNe kadar kalacaks\u0131n?\u201d\n\n\u201c\u0130ki gece.\u201d\n\nBu kez sesi y\u00fckseldi.\n\n\u201c\u0130ki gece mi?\u201d\n\n\u201cEvet.\u201d\n\n\u201cBen bunu yapamam!\u201d\n\nYava\u015f\u00e7a ona d\u00f6nd\u00fcm.\n\n\u201cBen k\u0131r\u0131k kolla yapt\u0131m.\u201d\n\nBir \u015fey s\u00f6yleyemedi.\n\nKap\u0131y\u0131 kapat\u0131p \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda ilk kez aylard\u0131r omuzlar\u0131mdaki a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131n bir k\u0131sm\u0131 kalkm\u0131\u015f gibi hissettim.\n\nAma bu bir intikam de\u011fildi.\n\nBaran\u2019\u0131n d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc gibi onu cezaland\u0131rmak da istemiyordum\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/kolumu-kirdim-ve-esimden-bes-aylik-ikizlerimize-bakarken-bana-yardim-etmesini-istedim\/imgonline1\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/imgonline1-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-1192\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/imgonline1-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/imgonline1-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/imgonline1-768x768.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/imgonline1.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-1192'>\n\t\t\t\tSadece anlamas\u0131n\u0131 istiyordum.\n\n\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc konu\u015farak anlam\u0131yordu.\n\nAnnemin evine vard\u0131\u011f\u0131mda telefonum daha ilk yar\u0131m saat i\u00e7inde \u00e7almaya ba\u015flad\u0131.\n\n\u0130lk mesaj \u015f\u00f6yleydi:\n\n\u201cHangisi mavi emzi\u011fi kullan\u0131yor?\u201d\n\nBe\u015f dakika sonra:\n\n\u201cMamalar ka\u00e7 \u00f6l\u00e7ek?\u201d\n\nArd\u0131ndan:\n\n\u201cBiri uyumuyor.\u201d\n\nSonra:\n\n\u201c\u0130kisi de a\u011fl\u0131yor.\u201d\n\nBir saat sonra telefon \u00e7ald\u0131.\n\nA\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131mda Baran neredeyse ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131yordu.\n\n\u201cBunlar neden susmuyor?\u201d\n\n\u201cBebek olduklar\u0131 i\u00e7in.\u201d\n\n\u201c\u00c7ok komik.\u201d\n\n\u201cDosyaya bakt\u0131n m\u0131?\u201d\n\n\u201cBakt\u0131m ama s\u00fcrekli bir \u015fey \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor!\u201d\n\n\u201cEvet.\u201d\n\n\u201cBiri kusmu\u015f!\u201d\n\n\u201c\u00dcst\u00fcn\u00fc de\u011fi\u015ftir.\u201d\n\n\u201cDi\u011feri de a\u011fl\u0131yor!\u201d\n\n\u201cOnu da kuca\u011f\u0131na al.\u201d\n\n\u201c\u0130kisini ayn\u0131 anda nas\u0131l yapaca\u011f\u0131m?\u201d\n\nBir s\u00fcre sustum.\n\nSonra sakince sordum:\n\n\u201cBen nas\u0131l yap\u0131yordum?\u201d\n\nTelefonun di\u011fer ucunda sessizlik oldu.\n\nSonra sinirle telefonu kapatt\u0131.\n\nO gece ilk kez kesintisiz d\u00f6rt saat uyudum.\n\nUyand\u0131\u011f\u0131mda su\u00e7luluk hissedece\u011fimi sanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.\n\nAma hissetmedim.\n\nSadece ne kadar yoruldu\u011fumu fark ettim.\n\nSabah telefonumu a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131mda on yedi mesaj vard\u0131.\n\nBaran gece boyunca neredeyse hi\u00e7 uyumam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\nSaat 02.14:\n\n\u201cBiri uyudu, di\u011feri uyand\u0131.\u201d\n\nSaat 02.47:\n\n\u201c\u015eimdi ikisi de uyand\u0131.\u201d\n\nSaat 03.20:\n\n\u201cAlt de\u011fi\u015ftirme s\u0131ras\u0131nda her yer batt\u0131.\u201d\n\nSaat 04.03:\n\n\u201cBen yar\u0131n i\u015fe gidemem.\u201d\n\nBu mesaj\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnce istemsizce g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedim.\n\nBirka\u00e7 saat sonra Baran arad\u0131.\n\nBu kez sesi farkl\u0131yd\u0131.\n\n\u00d6fkeli de\u011fil, yorgundu.\n\n\u201cBug\u00fcn i\u015fe gitmedim.\u201d\n\n\u201c\u00d6yle mi?\u201d\n\n\u201cEvet.\u201d\n\n\u201cNeden?\u201d\n\nDerin bir nefes ald\u0131.\n\n\u201cUyumad\u0131m.\u201d\n\nCevap vermedim.\n\nBir s\u00fcre sonra kendisi devam etti.\n\n\u201cBunu her gece mi yap\u0131yorsun?\u201d\n\n\u201c\u00c7o\u011fu gece.\u201d\n\n\u201c\u0130kisi de ayn\u0131 anda uyan\u0131yor.\u201d\n\n\u201cBiliyorum.\u201d\n\n\u201cBirini uyutunca di\u011feri ba\u015fl\u0131yor.\u201d\n\n\u201cBiliyorum.\u201d\n\n\u201cVe sonra sabah kalk\u0131p yemek yap\u0131yorsun.\u201d\n\n\u201cEvet.\u201d\n\n\u201cEvi de topluyorsun.\u201d\n\n\u201cEvet.\u201d\n\nTelefonun di\u011fer taraf\u0131nda uzun bir sessizlik oldu.\n\nSonra \u00e7ok k\u0131s\u0131k bir sesle,\n\n\u201cBilmiyordum.\u201d dedi.\n\n\u0130\u00e7imden \u201cBilmek istemiyordun.\u201d demek ge\u00e7ti.\n\nAma s\u00f6ylemedim.\n\n\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ders hen\u00fcz bitmemi\u015fti.\n\n\u201cAk\u015fama g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u00fcz.\u201d dedim.\n\n\u201cBug\u00fcn de gelmeyecek misin?\u201d\n\n\u201cHay\u0131r.\u201d\n\nPanikledi\u011fini sesinden anlayabiliyordum.\n\n\u201cAma\u2026\u201d\n\n\u201c\u0130ki gece demi\u015ftim.\u201d\n\nO g\u00fcn Baran\u2019\u0131n annesi beni arad\u0131.\n\nBaran ona da ula\u015fm\u0131\u015f.\n\n\u201cBu \u00e7ocuk bana telefonda a\u011flayacak neredeyse.\u201d dedi.\n\n\u201cNe olmu\u015f?\u201d\n\n\u201c\u00c7ocuklara bakmak \u00e7ok zormu\u015f.\u201d\n\n\u0130lk kez kahkaha att\u0131m.\n\nKay\u0131nvalidem de g\u00fcld\u00fc.\n\nSonra ciddile\u015fti.\n\n\u201cCan\u0131m, ben o\u011flumu severim ama bu konuda haks\u0131z. Babas\u0131n\u0131n zaman\u0131nda bana yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015feyin ayn\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 sana yap\u0131yor.\u201d\n\nBu c\u00fcmle beni \u015fa\u015f\u0131rtt\u0131.\n\nBaran\u2019\u0131n babas\u0131n\u0131n evde hi\u00e7 \u00e7ocuk bakmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 biliyordum ama ayr\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 hi\u00e7 konu\u015fmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131k.\n\n\u201cBen de y\u0131llarca tek ba\u015f\u0131ma u\u011fra\u015ft\u0131m.\u201d dedi kay\u0131nvalidem. \u201cBaran bunu g\u00f6rerek b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fc. Demek ki normal sand\u0131.\u201d\n\n\u0130\u015fte o an baz\u0131 \u015feyler yerine oturdu.\n\nBu Baran\u2019\u0131 hakl\u0131 \u00e7\u0131karm\u0131yordu.\n\nAma davran\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131n nereden geldi\u011fini a\u00e7\u0131kl\u0131yordu.\n\n\u0130kinci gecenin sabah\u0131nda eve d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde kap\u0131y\u0131 anahtarla a\u00e7t\u0131m.\n\nSalon sava\u015f alan\u0131 gibiydi.\n\nKoltu\u011fun \u00fczerinde iki battaniye vard\u0131.\n\nYerde mama \u015fi\u015feleri duruyordu.\n\nMutfakta bula\u015f\u0131klar birikmi\u015fti.\n\nBaran sa\u00e7lar\u0131 da\u011f\u0131lm\u0131\u015f halde koltukta oturuyordu.\n\nKuca\u011f\u0131nda bebeklerden biri uyuyordu.\n\nDi\u011feri g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcne yaslanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\nBeni g\u00f6r\u00fcnce aya\u011fa kalkmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ama sonra vazge\u00e7ti.\n\nY\u00fcz\u00fc ger\u00e7ekten bitkin g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyordu.\n\nBekledi\u011fim ilk \u015fey savunmaya ge\u00e7mesiydi.\n\nAma yapmad\u0131.\n\n\u201c\u00d6z\u00fcr dilerim.\u201d dedi.\n\nSadece iki kelimeydi.\n\nAma ilk kez ger\u00e7ekten s\u00f6yledi\u011fini hissediyordum.\n\n\u00c7antam\u0131 b\u0131rakt\u0131m.\n\n\u201cNe i\u00e7in?\u201d\n\n\u201cHer \u015fey i\u00e7in.\u201d\n\nBebe\u011fi dikkatlice yata\u011f\u0131na b\u0131rakt\u0131.\n\n\u201cSenin b\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yapmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yledim.\u201d\n\nBa\u015f\u0131n\u0131 e\u011fdi.\n\n\u201cBen iki g\u00fcnde mahvoldum.\u201d\n\nSessiz kald\u0131m.\n\n\u201cDaha k\u00f6t\u00fcs\u00fc\u2026\u201d dedi, \u201cSen bunu aylard\u0131r yap\u0131yorsun. Ben ise eve gelip yeme\u011fim neden ge\u00e7 kald\u0131 diye bile s\u00f6ylendim.\u201d\n\nBo\u011faz\u0131m d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmlendi.\n\n\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc bunu duymaya ihtiyac\u0131m vard\u0131.\n\nAma mesele yaln\u0131zca \u00f6z\u00fcr de\u011fildi.\n\n\u201cBaran, ben senden yard\u0131m istemiyorum.\u201d\n\n\u015ea\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131kla y\u00fcz\u00fcme bakt\u0131.\n\n\u201cNe?\u201d\n\n\u201cYard\u0131m kelimesini yanl\u0131\u015f kullan\u0131yoruz. Bunlar benim \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m oldu\u011fu kadar senin de \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n. Ev de ikimizin. Sen bana yard\u0131m etmeyeceksin. Kendi sorumlulu\u011funu \u00fcstleneceksin.\u201d\n\nBa\u015f\u0131n\u0131 yava\u015f\u00e7a sallad\u0131.\n\n\u201cHakl\u0131s\u0131n.\u201d\n\nMasadaki dosyay\u0131 g\u00f6sterdim.\n\n\u201cBunun ikinci k\u0131sm\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcn m\u00fc?\u201d\n\nKa\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7att\u0131.\n\nDosyay\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131p arka sayfalara bakt\u0131.\n\nOrada haz\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m yeni bir liste vard\u0131.\n\nGece n\u00f6betleri.\n\nBanyo g\u00fcnleri.\n\nDoktor kontrolleri.\n\nMama haz\u0131rlama.\n\n\u00c7ama\u015f\u0131r.\n\nMarket.\n\nEv i\u015fleri.\n\nHer \u015feyi ikiye b\u00f6lm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm.\n\nBaran listeye uzun s\u00fcre bakt\u0131.\n\nSonra kalemi ald\u0131.\n\n\u201cSal\u0131 ve per\u015fembe gecelerini ben al\u0131r\u0131m.\u201d dedi.\n\n\u015ea\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m.\n\n\u201cHafta sonu banyolar\u0131n\u0131 da.\u201d\n\nBir maddeyi daha i\u015faretledi.\n\n\u201cDoktor kontrollerine s\u0131rayla gideriz.\u201d\n\nO g\u00fcn hayat\u0131m\u0131z bir anda m\u00fckemmel olmad\u0131.\n\nBaran bazen yine homurdand\u0131.\n\nBen bazen onun yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u015fi be\u011fenmeyip m\u00fcdahale etmek istedim.\n\nBaz\u0131 geceler ikimiz de uykusuzluktan tart\u0131\u015ft\u0131k.\n\nAma \u00f6nemli bir \u015fey de\u011fi\u015fmi\u015fti.\n\nArt\u0131k yaln\u0131z de\u011fildim.\n\nBaran birka\u00e7 hafta sonra i\u015ften eve geldi\u011finde do\u011frudan \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n yan\u0131na gidiyordu.\n\nBirini kuca\u011f\u0131na al\u0131yor, bana da,\n\n\u201cSen otur. Ben hallederim.\u201d diyordu.\n\nKolumun al\u00e7\u0131s\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcn doktordan eve d\u00f6nerken arabada uzun s\u00fcre sessiz kald\u0131.\n\nSonra birden,\n\n\u201cO gece sen ger\u00e7ekten gitmeseydin san\u0131r\u0131m hi\u00e7bir zaman anlamayacakt\u0131m.\u201d dedi.\n\nPencereden d\u0131\u015far\u0131 bakt\u0131m.\n\n\u201cBen de gitmek istememi\u015ftim.\u201d\n\n\u201cBiliyorum.\u201d\n\nElimi tuttu.\n\n\u201cBana ders vermek i\u00e7in yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.\u201d\n\nG\u00fcl\u00fcmsedim.\n\n\u201cBir bak\u0131ma \u00f6yleydi.\u201d\n\nBa\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sallad\u0131.\n\n\u201c\u0130\u015fe yarad\u0131.\u201d\n\nAma ben o g\u00fcn \u015funu \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015ftim:\n\nBir evlilikte as\u0131l mesele kimin daha \u00e7ok yoruldu\u011funu kan\u0131tlamak de\u011fildi.\n\nAs\u0131l mesele, sevdi\u011fin insan yoruldu\u011funda bunu g\u00f6r\u00fcp y\u00fck\u00fcn\u00fcn bir ucundan tutabilmekti.\n\n\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc aile olmak, bir ki\u015finin her \u015feyi ta\u015f\u0131mas\u0131 demek de\u011fildi.\n\nAile olmak, biri d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde di\u011ferinin \u201cBu benim problemim de\u011fil.\u201d dememesi demekti.\n\nAylar sonra ikizlerimiz ilk ad\u0131mlar\u0131n\u0131 atmaya ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda Baran yerde dizlerinin \u00fczerinde onlar\u0131 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131yordu.\n\nBiri bana, di\u011feri ona do\u011fru y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc.\n\nBaran o\u011flumuzu kuca\u011f\u0131na al\u0131p g\u00fclerken g\u00f6z g\u00f6ze geldik.\n\nO an ikimiz de ayn\u0131 \u015feyi biliyorduk.\n\nKolumun k\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 o hafta evlili\u011fimizi de k\u0131rabilirdi.\n\nAma belki de ilk kez o hafta, aile olman\u0131n ger\u00e7ekte ne anlama geldi\u011fini \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015ftik.\n\nVe bazen bir ili\u015fkiyi kurtaran \u015fey b\u00fcy\u00fck s\u00f6zler de\u011fildi.\n\nBir gece uykusuz kalmak, bir bebe\u011fin bezini de\u011fi\u015ftirmek, yorulan e\u015finin elinden y\u00fck\u00fc almak ve sonunda \u015fu basit ger\u00e7e\u011fi anlamakt\u0131:\n\n\u00c7ocuklar\u0131n annelerinin belki \u201chastal\u0131k izni\u201d olmayabilirdi.\n\nAma onlar\u0131n babalar\u0131 vard\u0131.\n\nVe art\u0131k Baran da bunun ger\u00e7ekten ne anlama geldi\u011fini biliyordu.\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl>\n\t\t\t<br style='clear: both' \/>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1191,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1190","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-foto-galeri"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1190","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1190"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1190\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1193,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1190\/revisions\/1193"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1191"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1190"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1190"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1190"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}