{"id":1370,"date":"2026-10-09T08:16:38","date_gmt":"2026-10-09T08:16:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/?p=1370"},"modified":"2026-10-09T08:16:38","modified_gmt":"2026-10-09T08:16:38","slug":"annem-otuz-yildir-ekmek-ve-tuz-yiyemedigini-soyledi-hastanedeki-eski-dosya-gercegi-ortaya-cikardi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/annem-otuz-yildir-ekmek-ve-tuz-yiyemedigini-soyledi-hastanedeki-eski-dosya-gercegi-ortaya-cikardi\/","title":{"rendered":"Annem Otuz Y\u0131ld\u0131r Ekmek ve Tuz Yiyemedi\u011fini S\u00f6yledi \u2014 Hastanedeki Eski Dosya Ger\u00e7e\u011fi Ortaya \u00c7\u0131kard\u0131"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t\t<style>\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 {\n\t\t\t\tmargin: auto;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-item {\n\t\t\t\tfloat: left;\n\t\t\t\tmargin-top: 10px;\n\t\t\t\ttext-align: center;\n\t\t\t\twidth: 33%;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 img {\n\t\t\t\tborder: 2px solid #cfcfcf;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-caption {\n\t\t\t\tmargin-left: 0;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t\/* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes\/media.php *\/\n\t\t<\/style>\n\t\t<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-1370 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/annem-otuz-yildir-ekmek-ve-tuz-yiyemedigini-soyledi-hastanedeki-eski-dosya-gercegi-ortaya-cikardi\/gfewsc-3\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/gfewsc-150x150.webp\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-1371\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-1371'>\n\t\t\t\tB\u00d6L\u00dcM 2 \u2013 OTUZ YILDIR SAKLANAN KORKUN\u00c7 SIR\n\n\u201c\u0130\u015fte sana otuz y\u0131ld\u0131r s\u00f6yleyemedi\u011fimiz ger\u00e7ek bu, k\u0131z\u0131m. Baban\u0131n neden b\u00f6yle davrand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlaman i\u00e7in \u00f6nce o gece kimin y\u00fcz\u00fcnden hastaneye kald\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenmelisin&#8230;\u201d\n\nAnnemin bu s\u00f6zleri \u00fczerine odadaki herkes sustu. Elimde tuttu\u011fum sararm\u0131\u015f belgeye yeniden bakt\u0131m. Babam\u0131n imzas\u0131n\u0131n hemen alt\u0131nda g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm ikinci imza, y\u0131llar \u00f6nce hayat\u0131n\u0131 kaybeden a\u011fabeyim Tar\u0131k&#8217;a aitti.\n\n\u201cBu nas\u0131l olabilir?\u201d diye f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131m. \u201cTar\u0131k a\u011fabeyim o tarihten \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcn \u00f6nce trafik kazas\u0131nda \u00f6lmedi mi?\u201d\n\nAnnem g\u00f6zlerini kapatt\u0131. Babam ise sandalyesinde sanki y\u0131llar\u0131n a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131 alt\u0131nda biraz daha k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcld\u00fc.\n\nDoktor, \u201cSan\u0131r\u0131m bu konuyu \u00f6nce ailenizden dinlemelisiniz,\u201d diyerek geri \u00e7ekildi.\n\nAnnem titrek bir sesle konu\u015fmaya ba\u015flad\u0131.\n\n\u201cTar\u0131k&#8217;\u0131n \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc sand\u0131\u011f\u0131n g\u00fcn, asl\u0131nda ba\u015fka bir hastanede ya\u015fam m\u00fccadelesi veriyordu.\u201d\n\nBa\u015f\u0131m d\u00f6nmeye ba\u015flad\u0131.\n\nA\u011fabeyim Tar\u0131k, benden on ya\u015f b\u00fcy\u00fckt\u00fc. Ben yirmi iki ya\u015f\u0131ndayken ge\u00e7irdi\u011fi trafik kazas\u0131nda \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc s\u00f6ylemi\u015flerdi. Cenazesini bile do\u011fru d\u00fczg\u00fcn g\u00f6rememi\u015ftim. Babam, y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcn a\u011f\u0131r yaraland\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylemi\u015f, tabutunun a\u00e7\u0131lmas\u0131na izin vermemi\u015fti.\n\nOtuz y\u0131ld\u0131r mezar\u0131na \u00e7i\u00e7ek g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcyordum.\n\n\u201cBana a\u011fabeyimin \u00f6lmedi\u011fini mi s\u00f6yl\u00fcyorsun?\u201d\n\nAnnem a\u011flamaya ba\u015flad\u0131.\n\n\u201cHay\u0131r k\u0131z\u0131m. Tar\u0131k ger\u00e7ekten \u00f6ld\u00fc. Ama sana anlatt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z g\u00fcn de\u011fil.\u201d\n\nBabam ilk kez konu\u015ftu.\n\n\u201cAnnen \u00f6nce her \u015feyi anlats\u0131n.\u201d\n\nAnnem g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 sildi.\n\n\u201cO g\u00fcnlerde Tar\u0131k \u00e7ok de\u011fi\u015fmi\u015fti. \u0130\u015fini kaybetmi\u015f, borca girmi\u015fti. Bize s\u00f6ylemedi\u011fi \u015feyler yap\u0131yordu. Bir gece eve geldi\u011finde elleri titriyordu. Benden para istedi. Vermeyince mutfa\u011fa girip dolaplar\u0131 kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131rmaya ba\u015flad\u0131.\u201d\n\nAnnem derin bir nefes ald\u0131.\n\n\u201cBaban o s\u0131rada i\u015fteydi. Tar\u0131k bana ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131. Ben korkup odama ka\u00e7t\u0131m. Bir s\u00fcre sonra mutfa\u011fa d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde masan\u0131n \u00fczerinde bir tabak yemek vard\u0131. O\u011flum \u00f6z\u00fcr dilemi\u015f, benim i\u00e7in yemek haz\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylemi\u015fti.\u201d\n\n\u201cSonra ne oldu?\u201d\n\n\u201cYeme\u011fi yedim. Birka\u00e7 dakika sonra nefes alamamaya ba\u015flad\u0131m.\u201d\n\nDoktorun y\u00fcz\u00fc ciddile\u015fti.\n\nAnnem devam etti.\n\n\u201cTar\u0131k ne yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlay\u0131nca pani\u011fe kap\u0131lm\u0131\u015f. Yeme\u011fe beni hasta edecek bir madde kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sonradan \u00f6\u011frendik. Sadece korkutmak istedi\u011fini s\u00f6ylemi\u015fti.\u201d\n\nBo\u011faz\u0131m d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmlendi.\n\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon portrait'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/annem-otuz-yildir-ekmek-ve-tuz-yiyemedigini-soyledi-hastanedeki-eski-dosya-gercegi-ortaya-cikardi\/vvvv\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/vvvv-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-1372\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-1372'>\n\t\t\t\t\u201c\u00d6z o\u011flun sana bunu nas\u0131l yapabilir?\u201d\n\nAnnem ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 e\u011fdi.\n\n\u201cBazen bir insan\u0131n en \u00e7ok sevdi\u011fi ki\u015fi, ona en b\u00fcy\u00fck ac\u0131y\u0131 verebilir.\u201d\n\nBabam\u0131n elleri titriyordu.\n\n\u201cO gece eve geldi\u011fimde annen mutfakta bayg\u0131n yat\u0131yordu. Tar\u0131k ortada yoktu. Ambulans\u0131 arad\u0131m. Hastanede doktorlar annenin ciddi \u015fekilde zehirlendi\u011fini s\u00f6ylediler.\u201d\n\nAnnemin g\u00f6zleri yeniden doldu.\n\n\u201cG\u00fcnlerce yo\u011fun bak\u0131mda kald\u0131m. B\u00f6breklerim zarar g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Kalbim de \u00e7ok zorlanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\u201d\n\nDoktor \u00f6n\u00fcndeki dosyaya bakt\u0131.\n\n\u201cBuradaki raporlarda ger\u00e7ekten a\u011f\u0131r bir zehirlenme ve sonras\u0131nda geli\u015fen ciddi b\u00f6brek hasar\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcl\u00fcyor.\u201d\n\nBabam ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sallad\u0131.\n\n\u201cDoktorlar tuz t\u00fcketiminin s\u0131k\u0131 \u015fekilde s\u0131n\u0131rland\u0131r\u0131lmas\u0131 gerekti\u011fini s\u00f6ylediler. Baz\u0131 haz\u0131r yiyeceklerden, \u00f6zellikle tuzlu ekmeklerden uzak durmas\u0131n\u0131 istediler.\u201d\n\nBir anda her \u015fey anlam kazanmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\nAma h\u00e2l\u00e2 anlayamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir \u015fey vard\u0131.\n\n\u201cPeki neden otuz y\u0131l boyunca? Annemin durumu hi\u00e7 d\u00fczelmedi mi?\u201d\n\nDoktor cevap vermeden \u00f6nce dosyay\u0131 kapatt\u0131.\n\n\u201cBu kadar uzun s\u00fcre ayn\u0131 beslenme k\u0131s\u0131tlamas\u0131n\u0131n s\u00fcrd\u00fcr\u00fclmesi her hasta i\u00e7in gerekli de\u011fildir. Annenizin b\u00f6brek durumunun d\u00fczenli de\u011ferlendirilmesi gerekiyordu.\u201d\n\nBabam utan\u00e7la ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 e\u011fdi.\n\n\u201cDoktora g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcm. Ama her seferinde eski korkum geri geldi. Ona bir \u015fey olmas\u0131ndan \u00f6yle korkuyordum ki hi\u00e7bir riske girmek istemedim.\u201d\n\n\u201cPeki Tar\u0131k&#8217;a ne oldu?\u201d\n\nBu sorum \u00fczerine annem a\u011flamaya ba\u015flad\u0131.\n\nBabam pencereye d\u00f6nd\u00fc.\n\n\u201cTar\u0131k o gece ka\u00e7t\u0131. \u00dc\u00e7 g\u00fcn sonra arabas\u0131 u\u00e7urumdan a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 yuvarlanm\u0131\u015f halde bulundu. Polis, kazadan \u00f6nce \u00e7ok h\u0131zl\u0131 gitti\u011fini s\u00f6yledi.\u201d\n\n\u0130\u00e7imdeki \u00f6fke, ac\u0131ya d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fmeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\nA\u011fabeyimin anneme yapt\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenmek korkun\u00e7tu. Ama daha da korkuncu, ailemizin otuz y\u0131l boyunca bu s\u0131rr\u0131n g\u00f6lgesinde ya\u015fam\u0131\u015f olmas\u0131yd\u0131.\n\nTam o s\u0131rada annem elimi tuttu.\n\n\u201cHen\u00fcz bitmedi k\u0131z\u0131m.\u201d\n\nOna bakt\u0131m.\n\n\u201cDaha ne olabilir anne?\u201d\n\nAnnemin sesi f\u0131s\u0131lt\u0131ya d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc.\n\n\u201cTar\u0131k&#8217;\u0131n \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden \u00f6nce yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir mektup vard\u0131. Baban onu sana hi\u00e7 g\u00f6stermedi.\u201d\n\nBabam aniden aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131.\n\n\u201cM\u00fcjgan!\u201d\n\nAnnem ilk kez ona sert\u00e7e bakt\u0131.\n\n\u201cYeter R\u0131fat! Otuz y\u0131l sustuk. Art\u0131k k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131z ger\u00e7e\u011fi bilmeli.\u201d\n\nBabam tekrar sandalyesine \u00e7\u00f6kt\u00fc.\n\n\u201cMektup evde,\u201d dedi g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fckle. \u201cYatak odas\u0131ndaki eski sand\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7inde.\u201d\n\nO gece annem hastanede g\u00f6zetim alt\u0131nda tutulurken babamla eve gittik.\n\n\u00c7ocuklu\u011fumun ge\u00e7ti\u011fi ev bana hi\u00e7 bu kadar yabanc\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnmemi\u015fti.\n\nBabam yatak odas\u0131ndaki ceviz sand\u0131\u011f\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131. \u0130\u00e7inden eski foto\u011fraflar, sararm\u0131\u015f faturalar ve k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir zarf \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131.\n\nZarf\u0131n \u00fczerinde benim ad\u0131m yaz\u0131yordu.\n\nEllerim titreyerek a\u00e7t\u0131m.\n\nA\u011fabeyimin el yaz\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 hemen tan\u0131d\u0131m.\n\n\u201cSevgili karde\u015fim,\n\nBu mektubu okuyorsan muhtemelen art\u0131k hayatta de\u011filim. Anneme yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u015feyin hi\u00e7bir bahanesi yok. Ondan para almak i\u00e7in korkun\u00e7 bir hata yapt\u0131m. Bana g\u00fcvenen insanlara ihanet ettim.\n\nAma bilmeni istedi\u011fim ba\u015fka bir ger\u00e7ek var.\n\nAnnem beni kurtarmak i\u00e7in hastanede polise yalan s\u00f6yledi. Olay\u0131n kaza oldu\u011funu anlatt\u0131. Babam ise ger\u00e7e\u011fi biliyor.\n\n\u0130kisinin de beni affetmesini beklemiyorum.\n\nSenden tek iste\u011fim, annemi asla su\u00e7lamaman. O, \u00f6lmek \u00fczereyken bile beni korumaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\nBir g\u00fcn ger\u00e7e\u011fi \u00f6\u011frenirsen sak\u0131n benim hatam y\u00fcz\u00fcnden hayat\u0131n\u0131 karartma.\n\nA\u011fabeyin Tar\u0131k.\u201d\n\nMektubu okudu\u011fumda g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131ma h\u00e2kim olamad\u0131m.\n\nBabam kap\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131nda sessizce bekliyordu.\n\n\u201cBunu neden saklad\u0131n?\u201d diye sordum.\n\n\u201c\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc annen zaten bir evlat kaybetmi\u015fti. Senin de a\u011fabeyinden nefret ederek ya\u015faman\u0131 istemiyordu.\u201d\n\n\u201cPeki ya sen baba? Sen otuz y\u0131l nas\u0131l ya\u015fad\u0131n?\u201d\n\nBabam\u0131n g\u00f6zleri doldu.\n\n\u201cHer sabah annenin nefes ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rmek i\u00e7in ondan \u00f6nce uyanarak. Her gece uyumadan \u00f6nce iyi olup olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kontrol ederek.\u201d\n\nYava\u015f\u00e7a yata\u011f\u0131n kenar\u0131na oturdu.\n\n\u201cBazen hastal\u0131k ge\u00e7er ama insan\u0131n i\u00e7indeki korku ge\u00e7mez k\u0131z\u0131m. Ben anneni korudu\u011fumu sand\u0131m. Me\u011fer y\u0131llarca onun k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck mutluluklar\u0131n\u0131 elinden alm\u0131\u015f\u0131m.\u201d\n\n\u0130lk kez babam\u0131n bu kadar \u00e7aresiz g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcne \u015fahit oluyordum.\n\nErtesi sabah hastaneye d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fczde doktor bizi odas\u0131na \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131.\n\nYeni tetkiklerin sonu\u00e7lar\u0131 \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\nAnnemin b\u00f6brek fonksiyonlar\u0131nda ya\u015f\u0131na ba\u011fl\u0131 baz\u0131 sorunlar vard\u0131 ancak doktor, beslenmesinin yeniden d\u00fczenlenebilece\u011fini s\u00f6yledi.\n\n\u201cR\u0131fat Bey,\u201d dedi, \u201ce\u015finizin sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 elbette \u00f6nemli. Fakat hangi yiyece\u011fi ne kadar t\u00fcketebilece\u011fine g\u00fcncel tetkiklere g\u00f6re karar vermeliyiz. Otuz y\u0131l \u00f6nceki bir korkuyla ya\u015famaya devam edemezsiniz.\u201d\n\nBabam\u0131n g\u00f6zlerinden ya\u015flar s\u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fc.\n\n\u201cBen onu kaybetmek istemedim doktor bey.\u201d\n\nDoktor sakin bir sesle kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k verdi.\n\n\u201cSevdi\u011finiz insan\u0131 korumak ba\u015fka, onun yerine b\u00fct\u00fcn kararlar\u0131 vermek ba\u015fka.\u201d\n\nBu s\u00f6zler babam\u0131 derinden etkiledi.\n\nAnnem birka\u00e7 g\u00fcn sonra taburcu edildi.\n\nDoktorun haz\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 yeni beslenme plan\u0131nda, kontroll\u00fc miktarda tuzsuz ekmek t\u00fcketmesine izin veriliyordu.\n\nEve geldi\u011fimiz ilk sabah mutfa\u011fa girdim.\n\nAnnem her zamanki sandalyesine oturmu\u015ftu. Babam \u00e7aylar\u0131 haz\u0131rl\u0131yordu.\n\nMasaya k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir tabak koydum.\n\n\u0130\u00e7inde bir dilim tuzsuz ekmek vard\u0131.\n\nAnnem taba\u011fa uzun uzun bakt\u0131.\n\nSonra babama d\u00f6nd\u00fc.\n\n\u201cR\u0131fat, yiyebilir miyim?\u201d\n\nBu soru kalbimi parampar\u00e7a etti.\n\nSeksen iki ya\u015f\u0131ndaki bir kad\u0131n, kendi evinde bir dilim ekmek yiyebilmek i\u00e7in h\u00e2l\u00e2 kocas\u0131ndan izin istiyordu.\n\nBabam elindeki \u00e7aydanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 b\u0131rakt\u0131.\n\nAnnemin yan\u0131na oturdu.\n\n\u201cBana bir daha b\u00f6yle sorma M\u00fcjgan,\u201d dedi titreyen sesiyle. \u201cBen senin kocan\u0131m, gardiyan\u0131n de\u011fil.\u201d\n\nAnnemin g\u00f6zleri doldu.\n\n\u201cOtuz y\u0131ld\u0131r bunu duymay\u0131 bekliyordum.\u201d\n\nBabam onun ellerini tuttu.\n\n\u201cBeni affedebilir misin?\u201d\n\nAnnem bir s\u00fcre d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc.\n\n\u201cSeni seviyorum R\u0131fat. Ama art\u0131k korkular\u0131n\u0131n i\u00e7inde ya\u015famak istemiyorum.\u201d\n\nBabam ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sallad\u0131.\n\n\u201cHakl\u0131s\u0131n.\u201d\n\nAnnem ekmekten k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck bir par\u00e7a kopard\u0131.\n\nA\u011fz\u0131na g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde g\u00f6zlerinden iki damla ya\u015f s\u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fc.\n\nBabam da a\u011fl\u0131yordu.\n\nO sabah \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcm\u00fcz uzun s\u00fcre konu\u015fmadan oturduk.\n\nSonraki haftalarda babam de\u011fi\u015fmeye ba\u015flad\u0131. Annemin yemeklerini yine haz\u0131rl\u0131yordu ama art\u0131k ona ne istedi\u011fini soruyordu. Doktor kontrollerine birlikte gidiyor, beslenme kararlar\u0131n\u0131 annemle beraber al\u0131yordu.\n\nBir g\u00fcn annemi mutfakta \u015fark\u0131 s\u00f6ylerken buldum.\n\nY\u0131llard\u0131r onun bu kadar ne\u015feli oldu\u011funu g\u00f6rmemi\u015ftim.\n\nBirka\u00e7 ay sonra a\u011fabeyimin mezar\u0131n\u0131 ziyaret ettik.\n\nAnnem mezar ta\u015f\u0131na dokundu.\n\n\u201cSeni affetmek i\u00e7in \u00e7ok u\u011fra\u015ft\u0131m o\u011flum,\u201d dedi. \u201cAma yapt\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 unutmad\u0131m. Art\u0131k o geceyi geride b\u0131rakmak istiyorum.\u201d\n\nBabam yan\u0131na \u00e7\u00f6meldi.\n\n\u201cBen de M\u00fcjgan. Ben de.\u201d\n\nO g\u00fcn mezarl\u0131ktan ayr\u0131l\u0131rken annem babam\u0131n koluna girdi.\n\n\u0130kisi yava\u015f ad\u0131mlarla \u00f6n\u00fcmde y\u00fcr\u00fcrken \u015funu anlad\u0131m:\n\nA\u011fabeyimin hatas\u0131 ailemizin ge\u00e7mi\u015fini karartm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Babam\u0131n korkusu ise gelece\u011finden otuz y\u0131l \u00e7alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\nFakat ge\u00e7mi\u015fte ya\u015fanan ac\u0131lar, kalan hayat\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 da y\u00f6netmek zorunda de\u011fildi.\n\nBir y\u0131l sonra annemle babam\u0131n elli dokuzuncu evlilik y\u0131l d\u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fcn\u00fc kutlad\u0131k.\n\nMasada \u00e7i\u00e7ekler, pasta ve annemin sevdi\u011fi yiyecekler vard\u0131.\n\nBabam herkesin \u00f6n\u00fcnde aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131.\n\n\u201cBen e\u015fimi \u00e7ok sevdi\u011fimi s\u00f6ylerdim,\u201d dedi. \u201cAma sevgimin i\u00e7ine korkumu da kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131rm\u0131\u015f\u0131m. Onu kaybetmemek i\u00e7in y\u0131llarca ne yapaca\u011f\u0131na ben karar verdim. Oysa sevgi, bir insan\u0131n hayat\u0131n\u0131 kontrol etmek de\u011fil, onunla birlikte ya\u015famay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenmektir.\u201d\n\nAnnem aya\u011fa kalk\u0131p babama sar\u0131ld\u0131.\n\nSonra g\u00fclerek ekledi:\n\n\u201c\u00d6yleyse yar\u0131n kahvalt\u0131da ne yiyece\u011fime ben karar veriyorum.\u201d\n\nHepimiz g\u00fcld\u00fck.\n\nBabam da g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi.\n\n\u201cSen ne istersen M\u00fcjgan.\u201d\n\nO gece eve d\u00f6nerken g\u00f6zlerim doldu.\n\n\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc sonunda anlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.\n\nBazen insan sevdiklerini korudu\u011funu san\u0131rken onlar\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnmez duvarlar\u0131n arkas\u0131na hapsedebilir. Ger\u00e7ek sevgi ise o duvarlar\u0131 y\u0131kacak cesareti g\u00f6sterebilmektir.\n\nAnnem hayat\u0131n\u0131n otuz y\u0131l\u0131n\u0131 korkunun g\u00f6lgesinde ge\u00e7irmi\u015fti. Ama kalan g\u00fcnlerini kendi kararlar\u0131yla ya\u015fayacakt\u0131.\n\nBabam da sonunda \u015funu \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015fti: Bir insan\u0131 kaybetmekten korkmak, onu ya\u015farken \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnden mahrum b\u0131rakmaya hakk\u0131m\u0131z oldu\u011fu anlam\u0131na gelmez.\n\nVe bug\u00fcn h\u00e2l\u00e2 o sabah\u0131 hat\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131mda annemin bir dilim ekme\u011fi eline al\u0131rken y\u00fcz\u00fcnde beliren g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemeyi g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum.\n\n\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc bazen \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fck, b\u00fcy\u00fck kap\u0131lar\u0131n a\u00e7\u0131lmas\u0131 de\u011fildir.\n\nBazen yaln\u0131zca seksen iki ya\u015f\u0131nda bir kad\u0131n\u0131n, otuz y\u0131l sonra ilk kez kimseden izin almadan bir lokma ekmek yiyebilmesidir.\n\nVe bir \u00f6m\u00fcrl\u00fck sevginin en g\u00fczel h\u00e2li, kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131zdaki insan\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmaktan vazge\u00e7ip onun kendi hayat\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015famas\u0131na izin verdi\u011fimiz g\u00fcn ba\u015flar.\n\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl>\n\t\t\t<br style='clear: both' \/>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1371,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1370","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-foto-galeri"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1370","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1370"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1370\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1373,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1370\/revisions\/1373"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1371"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1370"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1370"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1370"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}