{"id":1478,"date":"2026-10-11T19:44:03","date_gmt":"2026-10-11T19:44:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/?p=1478"},"modified":"2026-10-11T19:44:03","modified_gmt":"2026-10-11T19:44:03","slug":"bosandiktan-sonra-gemiye-bindim-yabancinin-cebinden-cikardigi-sir","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/bosandiktan-sonra-gemiye-bindim-yabancinin-cebinden-cikardigi-sir\/","title":{"rendered":"Bo\u015fand\u0131ktan Sonra Gemiye Bindim: Yabanc\u0131n\u0131n Cebinden \u00c7\u0131kard\u0131\u011f\u0131 S\u0131r"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t\t<style>\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 {\n\t\t\t\tmargin: auto;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-item {\n\t\t\t\tfloat: left;\n\t\t\t\tmargin-top: 10px;\n\t\t\t\ttext-align: center;\n\t\t\t\twidth: 33%;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 img {\n\t\t\t\tborder: 2px solid #cfcfcf;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-caption {\n\t\t\t\tmargin-left: 0;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t\/* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes\/media.php *\/\n\t\t<\/style>\n\t\t<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-1478 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/bosandiktan-sonra-gemiye-bindim-yabancinin-cebinden-cikardigi-sir\/gfd-2\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/gfd-1-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-1480\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/gfd-1-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/gfd-1-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/gfd-1.jpg 540w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-1480'>\n\t\t\t\tGEM\u0130DEK\u0130 YABANCI VE Y\u0130RM\u0130 \u0130K\u0130 YILLIK SIR\n\n\u201cSonra elini ceketinin i\u00e7 cebine g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc. Ve oradan bir \u015fey \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131. Onu g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm anda y\u00fcz\u00fcmde bir damla kan kalmad\u0131.\u201d\n\nAdam\u0131n avucunda, kenarlar\u0131 y\u0131pranm\u0131\u015f k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir bebek bilekli\u011fi duruyordu. \u00dczerindeki soluk yaz\u0131y\u0131 okumam birka\u00e7 saniye s\u00fcrd\u00fc: \u201cAnne: Suna Yal\u00e7\u0131n. Bebek: Erkek. 14 May\u0131s.\u201d\n\nBarda\u011f\u0131m elimden kay\u0131p masaya \u00e7arpt\u0131. O tarihi hayat\u0131m boyunca unutamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Yirmi iki y\u0131l \u00f6nce, k\u0131z\u0131m do\u011farken ikiz karde\u015finin ya\u015famad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylemi\u015flerdi bana.\n\n\u201cBu nereden \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131?\u201d diye f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131m.\n\nAdam\u0131n g\u00f6zleri doldu. \u201cBenim ad\u0131m Barlas. O\u011flun ya\u015f\u0131yor, Suna Han\u0131m.\u201d\n\nBir an salonun b\u00fct\u00fcn sesleri kesildi. Garsonlar\u0131n ayak sesleri, \u00e7atal b\u0131\u00e7aklar\u0131n t\u0131k\u0131rt\u0131s\u0131, uzaktan gelen m\u00fczik&#8230; Hi\u00e7birini duymuyordum.\n\n\u201cYalan s\u00f6yl\u00fcyorsunuz.\u201d\n\n\u201cKe\u015fke s\u00f6yleyebilseydim.\u201d\n\nCebinden bir foto\u011fraf daha \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131. Yirmili ya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131nda bir delikanl\u0131, deniz k\u0131y\u0131s\u0131nda g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcyordu. K\u0131z\u0131m Eyl\u00fcl\u2019\u00fcn g\u00f6zleri, benim ka\u015flar\u0131m ve eski e\u015fim Levent\u2019in \u00e7enesine sahipti.\n\nFoto\u011fraf\u0131 ellerim titreyerek ald\u0131m.\n\n\u201cAd\u0131 ne?\u201d\n\n\u201cToprak.\u201d\n\n\u201cPeki siz kimsiniz?\u201d\n\nBarlas bir s\u00fcre sustu. \u201cOnu b\u00fcy\u00fcten adam\u0131m.\u201d\n\nSandalyeden kalkmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131m ama dizlerim tutmad\u0131. Barlas garsona su getirmesini i\u015faret etti. Beni sakinle\u015ftirmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmad\u0131. Sadece bekledi.\n\nYirmi iki y\u0131l \u00f6nce erken do\u011fuma girmi\u015ftim. Hastanede saatlerce s\u00fcren bir karma\u015fa ya\u015fanm\u0131\u015f, uyand\u0131\u011f\u0131mda bana bir o\u011flumun \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fc s\u00f6ylenmi\u015fti. Eyl\u00fcl kuv\u00f6zdeydi. Levent, a\u011flayarak elimi tutmu\u015f, di\u011fer bebe\u011fimizi defnettiklerini anlatm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Ben cenazesini bile g\u00f6rememi\u015ftim. Doktorlar bunun benim sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131m i\u00e7in daha iyi oldu\u011funu s\u00f6ylemi\u015flerdi.\n\nY\u0131llarca o g\u00f6r\u00fcnmeyen bebe\u011fin yas\u0131n\u0131 tuttum. Her do\u011fum g\u00fcn\u00fcnde Eyl\u00fcl i\u00e7in pasta haz\u0131rlarken bir dilimi de hi\u00e7 tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131m o\u011fluma ay\u0131rd\u0131m.\n\n\u201cNas\u0131l?\u201d dedim. \u201cBir \u00e7ocuk \u00f6lmediyse bunu nas\u0131l saklayabildiler?\u201d\n\nBarlas, masaya eski bir dosya koydu. \u201cE\u015fimle y\u0131llarca \u00e7ocuk sahibi olamad\u0131k. O d\u00f6nemde bize hastanede \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan bir arac\u0131 ula\u015ft\u0131. Annesinin bakamayaca\u011f\u0131 bir bebe\u011fin evlat edinilmeyi bekledi\u011fini s\u00f6ylediler. Evraklar\u0131n yasal oldu\u011funu sand\u0131k.\u201d\n\n\u201cBen o\u011flumu kimseye vermedim!\u201d\n\n\u201cBiliyorum. Ben de bunu alt\u0131 ay \u00f6nce \u00f6\u011frendim.\u201d\n\nBarlas, e\u015finin \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden sonra Toprak\u2019\u0131n biyolojik ailesini ara\u015ft\u0131rmak istedi\u011fini anlatt\u0131. Eski dosyalarda birbiriyle uyu\u015fmayan imzalar bulmu\u015flard\u0131. Bir belgede benim ad\u0131ma at\u0131lm\u0131\u015f imza vard\u0131. Oysa imza bana ait de\u011fildi.\n\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon portrait'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/bosandiktan-sonra-gemiye-bindim-yabancinin-cebinden-cikardigi-sir\/dd\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/dd-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-1479\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-1479'>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cSavc\u0131l\u0131\u011fa ba\u015fvurdum,\u201d dedi. \u201cBir avukatla birlikte ara\u015ft\u0131rmay\u0131 s\u00fcrd\u00fcr\u00fcyoruz. Toprak da ger\u00e7e\u011fi biliyor.\u201d\n\nKalbimde umutla \u00f6fke ayn\u0131 anda kabard\u0131. \u201cLevent\u2019in bununla ne ilgisi var?\u201d\n\nBarlas g\u00f6zlerini ka\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131.\n\n\u201c\u00dc\u00e7 ay \u00f6nce onunla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm. \u00d6nce hastanenin ad\u0131n\u0131 tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yledi. Sonra foto\u011fraf\u0131 g\u00f6sterdim. A\u011flamaya ba\u015flad\u0131.\u201d\n\n\u201cDemek o da yeni \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015f.\u201d\n\n\u201cHay\u0131r, Suna Han\u0131m. O\u011flunuzun \u00f6lmedi\u011fini ba\u015f\u0131ndan beri biliyormu\u015f.\u201d\n\nBu kez ger\u00e7ekten aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131m. Sandalyem arkaya s\u00fcr\u00fcklendi. Yan masadakiler d\u00f6n\u00fcp bize bakt\u0131 ama umurumda de\u011fildi.\n\n\u201c\u0130mk\u00e2ns\u0131z!\u201d\n\nBarlas, dosyadan sararm\u0131\u015f bir k\u00e2\u011f\u0131t \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131. Alt\u0131ndaki imza Levent\u2019indi. Bir \u00f6zel hastaneden yap\u0131lm\u0131\u015f para transferinin dekontu da vard\u0131.\n\n\u201cLevent\u2019in babas\u0131 o d\u00f6nemde a\u011f\u0131r bor\u00e7 i\u00e7indeymi\u015f,\u201d dedi. \u201cHastanedeki baz\u0131 ki\u015filer ona para teklif etmi\u015f. O\u011flunuzun do\u011fumdan sonra \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcne dair kay\u0131t d\u00fczenlemi\u015fler. Levent de buna g\u00f6z yummu\u015f.\u201d\n\nK\u00e2\u011f\u0131ttaki rakamlara bakt\u0131m. Bir bebe\u011fin hayat\u0131na fiyat bi\u00e7mi\u015flerdi.\n\n\u201cBana neden \u015fimdi geldiniz?\u201d\n\n\u201cLevent\u2019e ger\u00e7e\u011fi anlatmas\u0131 i\u00e7in zaman verdim. O ise bo\u015fanmay\u0131 se\u00e7ti. Size yakla\u015fmamam\u0131 istedi. Bir daha aile hayat\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 bozmayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131za dair s\u00f6z vermemi bile teklif etti.\u201d\n\nAniden her \u015fey yerine oturdu. Bo\u015fanma evraklar\u0131, anlams\u0131z a\u00e7\u0131klamalar, y\u00fcz\u00fcme bakmadan s\u00f6yledi\u011fi o c\u00fcmle: \u201cSan\u0131r\u0131m birlikte ya\u015flanmak bize nasip olmayacak.\u201d\n\nO, ya\u015flanmaktan de\u011fil, ge\u00e7mi\u015finin a\u00e7\u0131\u011fa \u00e7\u0131kmas\u0131ndan korkmu\u015ftu.\n\n\u201cPeki bu gemiye nas\u0131l geldiniz?\u201d\n\n\u201cToprak sizin seyahatinizi ablan\u0131zdan \u00f6\u011frendi. Ablan\u0131z ona inanmad\u0131; benimle konu\u015ftu, belgeleri g\u00f6rd\u00fc. Sizi haz\u0131rl\u0131ks\u0131z yakalamak istemiyordu. Ama ben karaya d\u00f6nmeden \u00f6nce bilmeye hakk\u0131n\u0131z oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm.\u201d\n\nTelefonumu \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131m. Ablam N\u00fckhet\u2019i arad\u0131m. \u0130lk \u00e7al\u0131\u015fta a\u00e7t\u0131.\n\n\u201cSuna&#8230;\u201d\n\n\u201cBiliyordun.\u201d\n\nKar\u015f\u0131 taraftan h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131k duyuldu. \u201cSeni korumaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmad\u0131m. Sadece bunlar\u0131n ger\u00e7ek oldu\u011fundan emin olmak istedim. Sana s\u00f6ylemeden \u00f6nce&#8230;\u201d\n\n\u201cBana s\u00f6ylemeden \u00f6nce bir kez daha benim yerime karar verdiniz.\u201d\n\nTelefonu kapatt\u0131m.\n\nBarlas hakl\u0131 oldu\u011fumu s\u00f6yledi ama art\u0131k kimsenin hak vermesine ihtiyac\u0131m yoktu. Tek istedi\u011fim o\u011flumla konu\u015fmakt\u0131.\n\n\u201cToprak nerede?\u201d\n\n\u201c\u0130zmir\u2019de. G\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmek istiyor. Fakat siz istemezseniz yakla\u015fmayacak.\u201d\n\n\u201cBana numaras\u0131n\u0131 verin.\u201d\n\nBarlas telefonunu masaya b\u0131rakt\u0131. Ekranda bir mesaj a\u00e7\u0131kt\u0131: \u201cBaba, annem beni g\u00f6rmek ister mi?\u201d\n\nO tek c\u00fcmle g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcmde y\u0131llard\u0131r kapal\u0131 duran bir kap\u0131y\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131. Mesaj\u0131 yazan delikanl\u0131ya k\u0131zamad\u0131m. Barlas\u2019a da k\u0131zamad\u0131m. As\u0131l \u00f6fkem, bize kaybettirilen y\u0131llarayd\u0131.\n\nToprak\u2019\u0131 arad\u0131\u011f\u0131mda telefon iki kez \u00e7ald\u0131.\n\n\u201cAlo?\u201d dedi \u00e7ekingen bir ses.\n\nKonu\u015famad\u0131m. Yirmi iki y\u0131l \u00f6nce susturuldu\u011funu sand\u0131\u011f\u0131m o k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck kalbin \u015fimdi bir insan sesi vard\u0131.\n\n\u201cToprak,\u201d diyebildim sonunda. \u201cBen&#8230; Suna.\u201d\n\nUzun bir sessizlik oldu.\n\n\u201cAnne dememe izin verir misin?\u201d diye sordu.\n\nA\u011flamaya ba\u015flad\u0131m. \u201cBana ne zaman istersen \u00f6yle seslenebilirsin.\u201d\n\nO gece kamarama d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde ilk i\u015fim Eyl\u00fcl\u2019\u00fc aramak oldu. Ona her \u015feyi anlatt\u0131m. \u00d6nce \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131ktan sustu, sonra \u201cBir karde\u015fim mi var?\u201d diye defalarca sordu.\n\n\u201cEvet,\u201d dedim. \u201cVe onu bulduk.\u201d\n\n\u201cBabam biliyor muydu?\u201d\n\n\u201cEvet.\u201d\n\nEyl\u00fcl\u2019\u00fcn a\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 duydum. Ard\u0131ndan kararl\u0131 bir sesle konu\u015ftu: \u201cO zaman eve d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde onu birlikte kar\u015f\u0131layaca\u011f\u0131z.\u201d\n\nErtesi sabah gemi Rodos\u2019a yakla\u015f\u0131rken Levent\u2019ten mesaj geldi. Barlas\u2019\u0131n benimle g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015fti.\n\n\u201cL\u00fctfen eve d\u00f6n\u00fcnce konu\u015fal\u0131m. Her \u015fey g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc gibi de\u011fil.\u201d\n\nTelefonu uzun s\u00fcre elimde tuttum. Sonra tek c\u00fcmle yazd\u0131m: \u201cO\u011flumuzun ad\u0131 Toprak. Art\u0131k bunu ink\u00e2r etmeyeceksin.\u201d\n\nGemiden \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcn sonra \u0130zmir Liman\u0131\u2019nda indim. Kalabal\u0131\u011f\u0131n aras\u0131nda Eyl\u00fcl\u2019\u00fc g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Yan\u0131nda foto\u011fraftaki delikanl\u0131 vard\u0131. Barlas biraz geride durmu\u015ftu.\n\nToprak bana do\u011fru bir ad\u0131m att\u0131, sonra durdu. Sanki yakla\u015fmaya hakk\u0131 olup olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmiyordu.\n\nBen aram\u0131zdaki mesafeyi kapatt\u0131m.\n\nSar\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda \u00e7ocuklu\u011funun kokusunu tan\u0131yamad\u0131m. \u0130lk ad\u0131mlar\u0131n\u0131, ilk kelimesini, okulun ilk g\u00fcn\u00fcn\u00fc ka\u00e7\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Ama omzuma yaslan\u0131\u015f\u0131nda hi\u00e7 yabanc\u0131l\u0131k yoktu.\n\n\u201cGe\u00e7 kald\u0131m,\u201d diye a\u011flad\u0131m.\n\n\u201cSen ge\u00e7 kalmad\u0131n,\u201d dedi. \u201cSeni benden saklad\u0131lar.\u201d\n\nO g\u00fcn limandan eve d\u00f6nerken Toprak arka koltukta oturdu. Dikiz aynas\u0131ndan bana ara s\u0131ra bak\u0131yor, sonra g\u00f6zlerini ka\u00e7\u0131r\u0131yordu. Yanl\u0131\u015f bir soru sorup onu \u00fcrk\u00fctmekten korkuyordum. Sonunda sessizli\u011fi o bozdu.\n\n\u201c\u00c7ocukken hep annemin beni neden istemedi\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcm,\u201d dedi.\n\nArac\u0131 yol kenar\u0131na \u00e7ektim. Arkaya d\u00f6n\u00fcp elini tuttum.\n\n\u201cBen seni her g\u00fcn istedim. Seni kaybetti\u011fimi s\u00f6ylediler. Y\u0131llarca mezar\u0131n\u0131n nerede oldu\u011funu bile \u00f6\u011frenemedim.\u201d\n\nToprak cebinden katlanm\u0131\u015f bir resim \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131. Be\u015f ya\u015f\u0131ndayken \u00e7izmi\u015fti. \u00dc\u00e7 \u00e7\u00f6p adam, sar\u0131 bir g\u00fcne\u015f ve k\u00f6\u015fede k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir kalp vard\u0131.\n\n\u201cBunu yap\u0131nca \u00f6\u011fretmenim annemi de \u00e7izmemi s\u00f6ylemi\u015fti,\u201d dedi. \u201cBen de tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir kad\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7izdim. \u015eimdi sana vermek istiyorum.\u201d\n\nResmi al\u0131rken bo\u011faz\u0131m d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmlendi. Birbirimizin ge\u00e7mi\u015finden eksik kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k ama gelece\u011finden eksik kalmak zorunda de\u011fildik.\n\nBir hafta sonra Levent\u2019le bir avukat\u0131n b\u00fcrosunda kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131k. \u00d6n\u00fcnde belgeler duruyordu. Art\u0131k ink\u00e2r etmiyordu. Babas\u0131n\u0131n bor\u00e7lar\u0131 i\u00e7in bask\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc, o s\u0131rada korktu\u011funu anlatt\u0131. Sonra da her g\u00fcn s\u00f6ylemeyi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcp sustu\u011funu itiraf etti.\n\n\u201cY\u0131llar ge\u00e7tik\u00e7e geri d\u00f6nmek zorla\u015ft\u0131,\u201d dedi.\n\n\u201cY\u0131llar ge\u00e7tik\u00e7e o\u011flum b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fc, Levent. Senin korkun y\u00fcz\u00fcnden.\u201d\n\nBenden af diledi. \u0130lk kez i\u00e7imde onu teselli etme iste\u011fi do\u011fmad\u0131. Avukat\u0131m\u0131n yan\u0131nda, ger\u00e7ekleri soru\u015fturma makamlar\u0131na eksiksiz anlatmas\u0131n\u0131 istedim. Sonraki s\u00fcre\u00e7te eski hastane kay\u0131tlar\u0131 incelendi, sorumlular hakk\u0131nda soru\u015fturma ba\u015flad\u0131. Levent de bildiklerini ifade verdi. Affetmek ba\u015fka \u015feydi; hesap vermek ba\u015fka.\n\nToprak\u2019la ili\u015fkimiz ba\u015flang\u0131\u00e7ta kolay olmad\u0131. Ona \u00e7ocuklu\u011funu sorduk\u00e7a ka\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u015feyler can\u0131m\u0131 yak\u0131yordu. Bazen o da Barlas\u2019\u0131 \u00fczmekten korkup bana mesafeli davran\u0131yordu. Bir g\u00fcn elini tutup \u015funu s\u00f6yledim: \u201cSeni b\u00fcy\u00fcten baban\u0131 sevmekle beni sevmek aras\u0131nda se\u00e7im yapmak zorunda de\u011filsin.\u201d\n\nO g\u00fcnden sonra daha rahat konu\u015fmaya ba\u015flad\u0131k. Eyl\u00fcl\u2019le ayn\u0131 g\u00fcn do\u011fduklar\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6\u011frendiklerinde iki karde\u015f saatlerce foto\u011fraflar\u0131n\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131. G\u00fcl\u00fc\u015fleri bile birbirine benziyordu.\n\nBarlas\u2019la da konu\u015ftum. Bana y\u0131llard\u0131r saklad\u0131\u011f\u0131 foto\u011fraf alb\u00fcmlerini getirdi. Toprak\u2019\u0131n bisiklete ilk bindi\u011fi g\u00fcn\u00fc, lise mezuniyetini, k\u0131r\u0131lan ilk di\u015fini foto\u011fraflarda g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Her sayfa i\u00e7imde ayr\u0131 bir s\u0131z\u0131 b\u0131rak\u0131yordu. Ama alb\u00fcm\u00fc kapatmad\u0131m. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc o y\u0131llar\u0131 ya\u015fayamam\u0131\u015f olsam da onlar\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenebilirdim.\n\n\u201cBenden nefret etmenizi anlayabilirim,\u201d dedi Barlas bir g\u00fcn.\n\n\u201c\u00d6fkeliyim,\u201d diye cevap verdim. \u201cFakat size de\u011fil, bizi birbirimizden koparanlara. O\u011flum yaln\u0131z b\u00fcy\u00fcmemi\u015f. Bunun i\u00e7in size te\u015fekk\u00fcr ederim.\u201d\n\nBarlas ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 e\u011fdi. \u0130lk kez omuzlar\u0131n\u0131n hafifledi\u011fini g\u00f6rd\u00fcm.\n\nSoru\u015fturman\u0131n ne kadar s\u00fcrece\u011fini bilmiyorduk. Kaybolan dosyalar, aradan ge\u00e7en y\u0131llar, birbirini tutmayan tan\u0131kl\u0131klar vard\u0131. Yine de art\u0131k sessiz kalmayacakt\u0131k. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc bizim ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 ba\u015fka bir ailenin ya\u015fam\u0131\u015f olabilece\u011fi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesi, ger\u00e7e\u011fin pe\u015fini b\u0131rakmam\u0131za izin vermiyordu.\n\nAylar sonra \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcm\u00fcz sahilde k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir kafede otururken Eyl\u00fcl iki dilim pasta s\u00f6yledi. Toprak \u015fa\u015f\u0131rd\u0131.\n\n\u201cBug\u00fcn \u00f6zel bir g\u00fcn m\u00fc?\u201d\n\nEyl\u00fcl g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi. \u201cAnnem her do\u011fum g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczde sana da bir dilim ay\u0131r\u0131rm\u0131\u015f. Bu kez birlikte yiyelim dedim.\u201d\n\nG\u00f6zlerim doldu. Y\u0131llarca bo\u015f duran o tabak sonunda sahibini bulmu\u015ftu.\n\nHayat\u0131m\u0131n eski h\u00e2line d\u00f6nmesini art\u0131k istemiyordum. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc eski hayat\u0131m, bilmedi\u011fim bir yalan\u0131n \u00fczerine kurulmu\u015ftu. Levent\u2019le ge\u00e7irdi\u011fim g\u00fczel g\u00fcnleri silemezdim ama onlar\u0131n hat\u0131r\u0131na ger\u00e7e\u011fi de yok sayamazd\u0131m.\n\nGemiye binerken terk edilmi\u015f bir kad\u0131n oldu\u011fumu san\u0131yordum. Oysa yolculu\u011fun sonunda yaln\u0131zca bir evlili\u011fin neden bitti\u011fini \u00f6\u011frenmedim; kaybetti\u011fimi sand\u0131\u011f\u0131m o\u011fluma kavu\u015ftum, k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n yan\u0131nda durdum ve kendime yeniden g\u00fcvenmeyi \u00f6\u011frendim.\n\nArt\u0131k biliyorum: Bir insan\u0131n bize s\u00f6yledi\u011fi yalan, ge\u00e7mi\u015fimizi de\u011fi\u015ftirebilir. Ama ger\u00e7e\u011fi \u00f6\u011frendikten sonra nas\u0131l ya\u015fayaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131za karar verme hakk\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 elimizden alamaz.\n\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl>\n\t\t\t<br style='clear: both' \/>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1480,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1478","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-foto-galeri"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1478","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1478"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1478\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1481,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1478\/revisions\/1481"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1480"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1478"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1478"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1478"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}