{"id":1562,"date":"2026-10-12T23:00:02","date_gmt":"2026-10-12T23:00:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/?p=1562"},"modified":"2026-10-12T23:00:02","modified_gmt":"2026-10-12T23:00:02","slug":"on-alti-yasimda-anne-olamayacagimi-soylediler-bebegim-dogdugunda-doktorun-acikladigi-sir-beni-aglatti-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/on-alti-yasimda-anne-olamayacagimi-soylediler-bebegim-dogdugunda-doktorun-acikladigi-sir-beni-aglatti-2\/","title":{"rendered":"On Alt\u0131 Ya\u015f\u0131mda Anne Olamayaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 S\u00f6ylediler: Bebe\u011fim Do\u011fdu\u011funda Doktorun A\u00e7\u0131klad\u0131\u011f\u0131 S\u0131r Beni A\u011flatt\u0131"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t\t<style>\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 {\n\t\t\t\tmargin: auto;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-item {\n\t\t\t\tfloat: left;\n\t\t\t\tmargin-top: 10px;\n\t\t\t\ttext-align: center;\n\t\t\t\twidth: 33%;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 img {\n\t\t\t\tborder: 2px solid #cfcfcf;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-caption {\n\t\t\t\tmargin-left: 0;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t\/* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes\/media.php *\/\n\t\t<\/style>\n\t\t<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-1562 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/on-alti-yasimda-anne-olamayacagimi-soylediler-bebegim-dogdugunda-doktorun-acikladigi-sir-beni-aglatti-2\/gh-2\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/gh-1-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-1563\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-1563'>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cBebe\u011finizi size vermeden \u00f6nce \u00f6\u011frendi\u011fimiz bir \u015feyi bilmeniz gerekiyor.\u201d\n\nDoktorun s\u00f6zleri ameliyathanenin b\u00fct\u00fcn seslerini susturmu\u015f gibiydi. Birka\u00e7 saniye \u00f6nce duydu\u011fum o k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck a\u011flama, hayat\u0131m\u0131n en g\u00fczel m\u00fczi\u011fiydi. \u015eimdiyse i\u00e7imde korkun\u00e7 bir sessizlik vard\u0131.\n\n\u201cBebe\u011fime ne oldu?\u201d diye sordum. \u201cL\u00fctfen benden bir \u015fey saklamay\u0131n.\u201d\n\nKad\u0131n do\u011fum uzman\u0131m Doktor Hakan, maskesinin \u00fczerinden g\u00f6zlerime bakt\u0131.\n\n\u201cBebe\u011finiz sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131. Bir k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131z oldu. Solunumu gayet iyi.\u201d\n\nG\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcmden kocaman bir y\u00fck kalkt\u0131. Ama doktorun devam etmekte zorland\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 fark ettim.\n\n\u201c\u00d6yleyse ne var?\u201d\n\n\u201cTransplantasyon koordinat\u00f6r\u00fcm\u00fcz biraz \u00f6nce bize bir haber ula\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131. Nakledilen rahmin ba\u011f\u0131\u015f\u00e7\u0131s\u0131yla ilgili, size ancak ailenin a\u00e7\u0131k izniyle aktarabilece\u011fimiz bir bilgi var. \u00d6nce sizi toparlanma odas\u0131na alaca\u011f\u0131z.\u201d\n\nO s\u0131rada hem\u015fire, pembe bir battaniyeye sard\u0131\u011f\u0131 k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131 yan\u0131ma yakla\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131. Minicik y\u00fcz\u00fc k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131yd\u0131, dudaklar\u0131n\u0131 b\u00fczm\u00fc\u015f, g\u00f6zlerini s\u0131k\u0131ca kapatm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Yana\u011f\u0131na dokundu\u011fumda bir an sustu.\n\n\u201cMerhaba,\u201d diye f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131m. \u201cBen senin annenim.\u201d\n\nO c\u00fcmleyi s\u00f6yleyebilmek i\u00e7in tam on \u00fc\u00e7 y\u0131l beklemi\u015ftim.\n\nAmeliyat bitip odama al\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131mda annem kap\u0131da bekliyordu. Ad\u0131 G\u00fclseren&#8217;di. Sa\u00e7lar\u0131 son birka\u00e7 y\u0131lda iyice beyazlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Beni g\u00f6r\u00fcnce sar\u0131lmak istedi ama y\u00fcz\u00fcndeki tuhaf ifadeyi hemen fark ettim.\n\n\u201cAnne, sen bir \u015fey biliyor musun?\u201d\n\nG\u00f6zlerini ka\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131.\n\n\u201c\u00d6nce dinlen, k\u0131z\u0131m.\u201d\n\n\u201cHay\u0131r. Doktor da ayn\u0131 \u015feyi s\u00f6yledi. Hepiniz neden b\u00f6yle davran\u0131yorsunuz?\u201d\n\nAnnem sandalyeye oturdu. Elleri titriyordu. Onu en son b\u00f6yle, on alt\u0131 ya\u015f\u0131mda o korkun\u00e7 te\u015fhisi duydu\u011fumuz g\u00fcn g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm.\n\n\u201cBana y\u0131llard\u0131r s\u00f6ylemedi\u011fin bir \u015fey mi var?\u201d\n\nCevap veremeden kap\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131. \u0130\u00e7eri Doktor Hakan ve nakil koordinat\u00f6r\u00fc Sevil Han\u0131m girdi. Sevil Han\u0131m elinde lacivert bir zarf ta\u015f\u0131yordu.\n\n\u201cBa\u011f\u0131\u015f\u00e7\u0131n\u0131n ailesi, kimli\u011finin sizinle payla\u015f\u0131lmas\u0131na yaz\u0131l\u0131 izin verdi,\u201d dedi. \u201cSize bir de mektup b\u0131rak\u0131lm\u0131\u015f. Ama \u00f6nce bunun sizin i\u00e7in a\u011f\u0131r olabilece\u011fini s\u00f6ylemeliyim.\u201d\n\nKalbim deli gibi \u00e7arp\u0131yordu.\n\n\u201cKimdi?\u201d\n\nSevil Han\u0131m anneme bakt\u0131. Annem ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6n\u00fcne e\u011fdi.\n\n\u201cBa\u011f\u0131\u015f\u00e7\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n ad\u0131 Nehir Arslan&#8217;d\u0131.\u201d\n\nNefesim kesildi.\n\nNehir.\n\nBu ismi on yedi y\u0131ld\u0131r y\u00fcksek sesle s\u00f6ylememi\u015ftim.\n\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon portrait'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/on-alti-yasimda-anne-olamayacagimi-soylediler-bebegim-dogdugunda-doktorun-acikladigi-sir-beni-aglatti-2\/dsad\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/dsad-150x150.png\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-1564\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-1564'>\n\t\t\t\tOrtaokulda ayn\u0131 s\u0131rada oturdu\u011fum, \u00e7antamda her zaman fazladan bir kalem bulunduran, kimsenin cesaret edemedi\u011fi g\u00fcnlerde benimle arkada\u015fl\u0131k eden Nehir.\n\nOn d\u00f6rt ya\u015f\u0131m\u0131zdayken babas\u0131n\u0131n i\u015fi nedeniyle ba\u015fka bir \u015fehre ta\u015f\u0131nm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Bir s\u00fcre mektupla\u015fm\u0131\u015f, sonra hayat bizi ay\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Onu internette defalarca aram\u0131\u015f ama izini bulamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.\n\n\u201c\u0130sim benzerli\u011fi olabilir,\u201d dedim. \u201cT\u00fcrkiye&#8217;de ba\u015fka Nehir Arslanlar da vard\u0131r.\u201d\n\nSevil Han\u0131m zarf\u0131n i\u00e7inden k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir foto\u011fraf \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131.\n\n\u0130ki k\u0131z \u00e7ocu\u011fu okul bah\u00e7esinde g\u00fcl\u00fcyordu. Benim \u00fczerimde mavi bir h\u0131rka, yan\u0131mdaki k\u0131z\u0131n sa\u00e7\u0131nda sar\u0131 bir toka vard\u0131.\n\nFoto\u011fraf\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcr g\u00f6rmez a\u011flamaya ba\u015flad\u0131m.\n\n\u201cBu biziz\u2026\u201d\n\nAnnem sessizce ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sallad\u0131.\n\n\u201cBeni neden bulmad\u0131?\u201d diye sordum. \u201cNeden y\u0131llarca hi\u00e7 haber vermedi?\u201d\n\nSevil Han\u0131m sandalyeyi yakla\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131. \u201cNehir \u00fc\u00e7 y\u0131l \u00f6nce a\u011f\u0131r bir trafik kazas\u0131nda hayat\u0131n\u0131 kaybetmi\u015f. \u00d6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden \u00f6nce organ ba\u011f\u0131\u015f\u00e7\u0131s\u0131 olmay\u0131 kabul etmi\u015f. Ailesi, ba\u011f\u0131\u015f s\u00fcreci s\u0131ras\u0131nda sizin ad\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 bilmiyordu. Kimlik e\u015fle\u015fmesi daha sonra, siz nakil bekleme listesindeyken uygunluk de\u011ferlendirmesinde ortaya \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015f. Gizlilik kurallar\u0131 nedeniyle size s\u00f6ylenmedi.\u201d\n\nKafamda onlarca soru vard\u0131. Fakat en ac\u0131s\u0131 tek bir soruydu:\n\n\u201cNehir benim hasta oldu\u011fumu nereden biliyordu?\u201d\n\nBu kez annem konu\u015ftu.\n\n\u201c\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ben ona anlatm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.\u201d\n\n\u015ea\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131kla anneme d\u00f6nd\u00fcm.\n\n\u201cNe zaman?\u201d\n\n\u201cTe\u015fhis konulduktan bir y\u0131l sonra. Bir g\u00fcn beni arad\u0131. Seni sordu. Sesinden eski g\u00fcnleri ne kadar \u00f6zledi\u011fini anlad\u0131m. Sen hi\u00e7bir arkada\u015f\u0131n\u0131n durumunu \u00f6\u011frenmesini istemiyordun. Ama ona g\u00fcvendim. Bunun i\u00e7in senden \u00f6z\u00fcr dilerim.\u201d\n\n\u201cSonra?\u201d\n\n\u201cUzun s\u00fcre g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmeye devam ettik. Nehir sana yazmak istedi ama sen o y\u0131llarda bu konudan kimseyle konu\u015fmak istemiyordun. Seni zorlamad\u0131.\u201d\n\nAnnemin g\u00f6zlerinden ya\u015flar s\u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcyordu.\n\n\u201c\u00dc\u00e7 y\u0131l \u00f6nce \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc \u00f6\u011frendi\u011fimde cenazesine gittim. Ailesiyle orada tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Organlar\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015fkalar\u0131na umut olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylediler. Rahim ba\u011f\u0131\u015f\u0131 ihtimali g\u00fcndeme geldi\u011finde senin durumun ak\u0131llar\u0131na gelmi\u015f. Ama t\u0131bbi uygunluk ve s\u0131ra konusunda hi\u00e7bir s\u00f6z verilemeyece\u011fini de biliyorlard\u0131.\u201d\n\n\u201cPeki sen neden bana hi\u00e7bir \u015fey anlatmad\u0131n?\u201d\n\n\u201c\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc sana ger\u00e7ekle\u015fmeyecek bir umut daha vermekten korktum.\u201d\n\n\u00d6fkelendim. O s\u0131rada bunun ne kadar bencilce oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmedim bile.\n\n\u201cBu benim hayat\u0131md\u0131, anne! Bilme hakk\u0131m vard\u0131!\u201d\n\nAnnem ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 e\u011fdi.\n\n\u201cHakl\u0131s\u0131n.\u201d\n\nO tek kelime \u00f6fkemi daha da a\u011f\u0131rla\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc annem kendini savunmad\u0131.\n\nSevil Han\u0131m zarf\u0131 uzatt\u0131.\n\n\u201cNehir&#8217;in ailesi, k\u0131zlar\u0131 y\u0131llar \u00f6nce haz\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bu mektubu size ula\u015ft\u0131rmam\u0131z\u0131 istedi. A\u00e7mak zorunda de\u011filsiniz.\u201d\n\nParmaklar\u0131m titreyerek k\u00e2\u011f\u0131d\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131.\n\n\u201cSevgili \u00e7ocukluk arkada\u015f\u0131m,\u201d diye ba\u015fl\u0131yordu.\n\n\u201cHayat bizi ba\u015fka \u015fehirlere savurdu\u011funda b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc sanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. Oysa ben h\u00e2l\u00e2 okul bah\u00e7esinde, sal\u0131nca\u011fa binmeye korkan o k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z\u0131 hat\u0131rl\u0131yorum. Elimden tutup \u2018Birlikte binersek korkmay\u0131z,\u2019 demi\u015ftin.\u201d\n\nSat\u0131rlar g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131mdan bulan\u0131kla\u015f\u0131yordu.\n\n\u201cAnnen bana ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 anlatt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda sana ula\u015fmak istedim. Ama ac\u0131n\u0131n kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 zorla a\u00e7man\u0131n dostluk olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. \u015eunu bil: \u0130nsan bazen kendi hayalini ger\u00e7ekle\u015ftiremezken ba\u015fka birinin hayaline yol a\u00e7abilir. E\u011fer bir g\u00fcn organlar\u0131m birine ya\u015fam verirse, o ki\u015finin kim oldu\u011funu bilmem gerekmiyor. Yeter ki yar\u0131n sabah uyanmak i\u00e7in bir sebebi olsun.\u201d\n\nSon sat\u0131rda durdum.\n\n\u201cVe e\u011fer o ki\u015fi bir g\u00fcn anne olursa, \u00e7ocu\u011funa \u015funu s\u00f6ylesin: D\u00fcnyada tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131 insanlar\u0131n iyili\u011fi sayesinde b\u00fcy\u00fcyen umutlar vard\u0131r.\u201d\n\nMektubu g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcme bast\u0131rd\u0131m.\n\nNehir&#8217;in ba\u011f\u0131\u015f karar\u0131 benim i\u00e7in verilmi\u015f bir karar de\u011fildi. Bunu art\u0131k anl\u0131yordum. Ama beklenmedik bir rastlant\u0131, \u00e7ocuklu\u011fumuzda birbirimize uzatt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z elleri y\u0131llar sonra yeniden bulu\u015fturmu\u015ftu.\n\nTam o s\u0131rada kap\u0131dan sert bir ses duyuldu.\n\n\u201cBu mektubu ona vermeye hakk\u0131n\u0131z yoktu!\u201d\n\nKar\u015f\u0131m\u0131zda ellili ya\u015flar\u0131nda bir kad\u0131n duruyordu. Y\u00fcz\u00fc yorgun, g\u00f6zleri k\u0131pk\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131yd\u0131.\n\nSevil Han\u0131m aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131.\n\n\u201cFigen Han\u0131m, mektup i\u00e7in verdi\u011finiz izin dosyada mevcut.\u201d\n\nKad\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 iki yana sallad\u0131.\n\n\u201c\u0130zin verdim. Ama buraya gelince dayanamayaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 anlad\u0131m.\u201d\n\nOnun kim oldu\u011funu hemen anlad\u0131m.\n\nNehir&#8217;in annesiydi.\n\n\u201cBen k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131 topra\u011fa verdim,\u201d dedi bo\u011fuk bir sesle. \u201c\u015eimdi herkes onun sayesinde d\u00fcnyaya gelen bebekten s\u00f6z ediyor. Sanki k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc g\u00fczel bir hik\u00e2yeye d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr\u00fclebilirmi\u015f gibi.\u201d\n\nS\u00f6yleyecek s\u00f6z bulamad\u0131m. Kuca\u011f\u0131mdaki bebe\u011fe bakt\u0131m. O s\u0131rada hem\u015fire k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131 emzirmem i\u00e7in getirmi\u015fti; minik eli parma\u011f\u0131ma sar\u0131l\u0131yd\u0131.\n\n\u201c\u00d6z\u00fcr dilerim,\u201d dedim sonunda. \u201cKimse sizin ac\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 g\u00fczel bir hik\u00e2yeye \u00e7eviremez. Ben de \u00e7evirmek istemiyorum.\u201d\n\nFigen Han\u0131m a\u011flamaya ba\u015flad\u0131.\n\n\u201cNehir, \u00e7ocukken senden \u00e7ok s\u00f6z ederdi,\u201d dedi. \u201cTa\u015f\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z g\u00fcn sabaha kadar a\u011flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Sonra y\u0131llarca sar\u0131 tokas\u0131n\u0131 saklad\u0131. Foto\u011fraf\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 da\u2026\u201d\n\nElindeki \u00e7antadan k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir kutu \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131. \u0130\u00e7inde sar\u0131 bir toka vard\u0131.\n\nO anda ge\u00e7mi\u015fteki iki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131zla odadaki \u00fc\u00e7 ku\u015fak kad\u0131n aras\u0131nda g\u00f6r\u00fcnmez bir ba\u011f kuruldu\u011funu hissettim.\n\n\u201cBebe\u011fi g\u00f6rmek ister misiniz?\u201d diye sordum.\n\nKad\u0131n teredd\u00fct etti.\n\n\u201cBunu yapabilir miyim?\u201d\n\n\u201c\u0130sterseniz.\u201d\n\nYakla\u015ft\u0131. K\u0131z\u0131m g\u00f6zlerini a\u00e7\u0131p ona bakt\u0131. Figen Han\u0131m elini uzatmad\u0131; yaln\u0131zca ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 e\u011fip uzun uzun seyretti.\n\n\u201cAd\u0131n\u0131 ne koydunuz?\u201d diye sordu.\n\nBir an d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. E\u015fim Ozan&#8217;la haftalarca isim aram\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. Do\u011fumdan \u00f6nce \u2018Defne\u2019 \u00fczerinde anla\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. \u015eimdi karar\u0131m de\u011fi\u015fmi\u015f de\u011fildi; \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc k\u0131z\u0131m yaln\u0131zca ge\u00e7mi\u015fimizin de\u011fil, gelece\u011fimizin de bir par\u00e7as\u0131 olmal\u0131yd\u0131.\n\n\u201cDefne,\u201d dedim. \u201cAma b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde Nehir&#8217;in kim oldu\u011funu da bilecek.\u201d\n\nFigen Han\u0131m ilk kez hafif\u00e7e g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi.\n\n\u201cBen de ona Nehir&#8217;in \u00e7ocukluk hik\u00e2yelerini anlat\u0131r\u0131m. \u0130zin verirseniz.\u201d\n\n\u201cBuna \u00e7ok sevinirim.\u201d\n\nSonraki haftalar kolay ge\u00e7medi. Nakil sonras\u0131nda kullan\u0131lan ila\u00e7lar, kontroller ve yorgunluk hayat\u0131m\u0131n par\u00e7as\u0131yd\u0131. Annemle de hemen bar\u0131\u015famad\u0131k. Benden ger\u00e7ekleri saklamas\u0131n\u0131n ikimizi de ne kadar yaralad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 uzun uzun konu\u015ftuk. Bir g\u00fcn elimi tuttu.\n\n\u201cSeni korumaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rken karar verme hakk\u0131n\u0131 elinden ald\u0131m,\u201d dedi.\n\n\u201cBiliyorum, anne. Bundan sonra korksan da benimle konu\u015f.\u201d\n\n\u201cS\u00f6z.\u201d\n\nBir gece Defne hen\u00fcz k\u0131rk g\u00fcnl\u00fckken ate\u015fim y\u00fckseldi. Kontrol i\u00e7in hastaneye gitti\u011fimizde nakledilen organla ilgili bir sorun ya\u015fama ihtimali beni yeniden o eski korkulara s\u00fcr\u00fckledi. Ozan koridorda k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 ta\u015f\u0131rken ben doktorun odas\u0131nda sonu\u00e7lar\u0131 bekledim. Neyse ki ciddi bir komplikasyon saptanmad\u0131; doktorlar tedavimi d\u00fczenleyip yak\u0131ndan izlemeye devam etti. Eve d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fczde Ozan bana, \u201cMutlulu\u011fumuzu hep felaket olacakm\u0131\u015f gibi ya\u015fayamay\u0131z,\u201d dedi. Hakl\u0131yd\u0131. O gece Defne uyurken ba\u015fucunda oturdum. Onun ilk g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemesini ka\u00e7\u0131rmaktan, bir g\u00fcn hastalanmas\u0131ndan, sevdi\u011fim insanlar\u0131 kaybetmekten korkabilirdim. Ama korkunun hayat\u0131m\u0131 y\u00f6netmesine izin verirsem on \u00fc\u00e7 y\u0131l bekledi\u011fim g\u00fcnlerin hi\u00e7birini ya\u015fayamazd\u0131m. Ertesi sabah perdeyi a\u00e7t\u0131m, k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131 kuca\u011f\u0131ma ald\u0131m ve uzun zamand\u0131r ilk kez gelece\u011fi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrken i\u00e7imden yaln\u0131zca sevin\u00e7 ge\u00e7ti.\n\nDefne alt\u0131 ayl\u0131k oldu\u011funda Nehir&#8217;in mezar\u0131n\u0131 ziyarete gittik. Yan\u0131m\u0131zda annem, Ozan ve Figen Han\u0131m vard\u0131. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir buket k\u0131r \u00e7i\u00e7e\u011fini mezar\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na b\u0131rakt\u0131m.\n\n\u201cSen bana anneli\u011fi hediye etmek i\u00e7in \u00f6lmedin,\u201d diye f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131m. \u201cSen kendi hayat\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015fad\u0131n, sevdin, g\u00fcld\u00fcn. Ve ard\u0131ndan verdi\u011fin ba\u011f\u0131\u015f karar\u0131 benim hayat\u0131m\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirdi. Seni yaln\u0131zca bu y\u00fczden de\u011fil, okul bah\u00e7esindeki o iyi kalpli k\u0131z oldu\u011fun i\u00e7in hat\u0131rlayaca\u011f\u0131m.\u201d\n\nDefne kuca\u011f\u0131mda k\u0131p\u0131rdand\u0131, parma\u011f\u0131ma s\u0131ms\u0131k\u0131 sar\u0131ld\u0131.\n\nY\u0131llar \u00f6nce on alt\u0131 ya\u015f\u0131ndaki halim, anne olman\u0131n yaln\u0131zca bir bebe\u011fi karn\u0131nda ta\u015f\u0131yabilmek oldu\u011funu san\u0131yordu. Bug\u00fcn biliyorum ki annelik, korkarken de sevmek, ger\u00e7e\u011fi saklamadan b\u00fcy\u00fctmek ve bir insan\u0131n hayat\u0131na sayg\u0131 duyabilmek demekti.\n\nDefne bir g\u00fcn bana nas\u0131l d\u00fcnyaya geldi\u011fini sorarsa b\u00fct\u00fcn hik\u00e2yeyi anlataca\u011f\u0131m. Ac\u0131lar\u0131 da, umudu da, Nehir&#8217;i de.\n\nVe ona en sonunda \u015funu s\u00f6yleyece\u011fim:\n\n\u201cSen d\u00fcnyaya geldi\u011fin g\u00fcn yaln\u0131zca bir annenin hayali ger\u00e7ekle\u015fmedi, k\u0131z\u0131m. Birbirini kaybetmi\u015f insanlar\u0131n kalpleri de yeniden birbirine kavu\u015ftu.\u201d\n\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl>\n\t\t\t<br style='clear: both' \/>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1563,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1562","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-foto-galeri"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1562","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1562"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1562\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1565,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1562\/revisions\/1565"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1563"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1562"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1562"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1562"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}