{"id":1640,"date":"2026-10-14T22:51:47","date_gmt":"2026-10-14T22:51:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/?p=1640"},"modified":"2026-10-14T22:51:47","modified_gmt":"2026-10-14T22:51:47","slug":"otobus-soforu-olan-babamin-cenazesine-yuzlerce-yabanci-insan-geldi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/otobus-soforu-olan-babamin-cenazesine-yuzlerce-yabanci-insan-geldi\/","title":{"rendered":"Otob\u00fcs \u015eof\u00f6r\u00fc Olan Babam\u0131n Cenazesine Y\u00fczlerce Yabanc\u0131 \u0130nsan Geldi."},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t\t<style>\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 {\n\t\t\t\tmargin: auto;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-item {\n\t\t\t\tfloat: left;\n\t\t\t\tmargin-top: 10px;\n\t\t\t\ttext-align: center;\n\t\t\t\twidth: 33%;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 img {\n\t\t\t\tborder: 2px solid #cfcfcf;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-caption {\n\t\t\t\tmargin-left: 0;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t\/* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes\/media.php *\/\n\t\t<\/style>\n\t\t<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-1640 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/otobus-soforu-olan-babamin-cenazesine-yuzlerce-yabanci-insan-geldi\/hgtg-5\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/hgtg-2-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-1641\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-1641'>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cTam bileti alaca\u011f\u0131m s\u0131rada telefonum \u00e7ald\u0131. Arayan, babam\u0131n numaras\u0131yd\u0131.\u201d\n\nParmaklar\u0131m uyu\u015fmu\u015ftu. Tacettin Kaptan\u2019\u0131 iki g\u00fcn \u00f6nce topra\u011fa vermek \u00fczere hastaneden alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. \u015eimdi mezarl\u0131\u011f\u0131n ortas\u0131nda, onun ad\u0131n\u0131 ta\u015f\u0131yan ekrana bak\u0131yordum.\n\nTelefonu a\u00e7t\u0131m.\n\n\u201cG\u00fcnseli, sak\u0131n baban\u0131n evine d\u00f6nme,\u201d dedi ya\u015fl\u0131 bir kad\u0131n sesi. \u201cBeni eski evinizde bekle. Baban son yolculu\u011fundan \u00f6nce telefonunu burada b\u0131rakt\u0131.\u201d\n\n\u201cSen kimsin? Babam\u0131n telefonu neden sende?\u201d\n\n\u201cBir zamanlar hastanenin do\u011fum servisinde \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordum. \u015eimdi susarsam otuz y\u0131l \u00f6nceki g\u00fcnah\u0131 ikinci kez i\u015flemi\u015f olaca\u011f\u0131m.\u201d\n\nHat kesildi.\n\n\u015eevket y\u00fcz\u00fcmdeki ifadeyi g\u00f6r\u00fcnce koluma girdi. Arayan\u0131 anlatt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda bastonunu yere \u00f6yle sert vurdu ki yan\u0131m\u0131zdan ge\u00e7enler d\u00f6n\u00fcp bakt\u0131.\n\n\u201cDemek sonunda konu\u015fmaya karar vermi\u015f,\u201d diye m\u0131r\u0131ldand\u0131.\n\n\u201cSen onu tan\u0131yor musun?\u201d\n\n\u201cBaban\u0131n o gece kurtard\u0131\u011f\u0131 insanlar\u0131 ilk g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm yer o hastaneydi. Ama kad\u0131n\u0131n bildiklerini ben de bilmiyorum.\u201d\n\n\u0130ki g\u00fcnd\u00fcr do\u011fru d\u00fcr\u00fcst a\u011flayamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. \u015eimdi babam\u0131 ger\u00e7ekten tan\u0131mam\u0131\u015f olabilece\u011fim ihtimali can\u0131m\u0131 yak\u0131yordu. Oysa hi\u00e7bir do\u011fum g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fc unutmayan, ilk maa\u015f\u0131mla ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m bozuk saati bile saklayan adamd\u0131.\n\nMezarl\u0131k kap\u0131s\u0131ndaki gri otomobil h\u00e2l\u00e2 oradayd\u0131. \u0130\u00e7indeki adam bizi izliyordu. \u015eevket arabas\u0131n\u0131n anahtar\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131 ama direksiyona ge\u00e7meden \u00f6nce telefonundan polisi arad\u0131. Eski evin adresini verdi, takip edildi\u011fimizi ve babam\u0131n \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden sonra evine girildi\u011fini bildirdi.\n\n\u201cBiz gidene kadar beklemeyin,\u201d dedi g\u00f6revliye. \u201cOrada korkmu\u015f bir tan\u0131k var.\u201d\n\nGri otomobil bir s\u00fcre arkam\u0131zdan geldi, sonra kayboldu. \u015eevket\u2019e defteri neden cenazeye getirdi\u011fini sordum.\n\n\u201cBaban, \u2018Ben konu\u015famazsam k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n sorular\u0131ndan ka\u00e7ma,\u2019 dedi,\u201d diye cevap verdi. \u201c\u00d6nce kan\u0131tlar\u0131 g\u00f6rmeni istedim.\u201d\n\nEski\u015fehir\u2019in eski mahallelerinden birindeki iki katl\u0131 eve vard\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda \u00f6\u011fle g\u00fcne\u015fi soka\u011f\u0131 ayd\u0131nlat\u0131yordu. Yine de kap\u0131 \u00f6n\u00fcnde \u00fc\u015f\u00fcd\u00fcm. \u00c7ocuklu\u011fum bu duvarlar\u0131n aras\u0131nda ge\u00e7mi\u015fti. Babam y\u0131llar \u00f6nce evi satmam\u0131\u015f, yaln\u0131zca kapatm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\nKap\u0131y\u0131 a\u00e7an kad\u0131n, y\u00fcz\u00fcnde derin \u00e7izgiler bulunan, beyaz sa\u00e7l\u0131 biriydi. Elinde babam\u0131n telefonu vard\u0131.\n\n\u201c\u00d6nce \u015funu g\u00f6rmelisin,\u201d diyerek bizi mutfa\u011fa g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc.\n\nMasan\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnde sararm\u0131\u015f bir foto\u011fraf duruyordu. Foto\u011frafta gen\u00e7 babam, battaniyeye sar\u0131l\u0131 bebe\u011fi tutuyordu. Yan\u0131nda yorgun ama g\u00fcl\u00fcmseyen gen\u00e7 bir kad\u0131n vard\u0131.\n\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon portrait'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/otobus-soforu-olan-babamin-cenazesine-yuzlerce-yabanci-insan-geldi\/otobus\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/otobus-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-1642\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-1642'>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cBu annem mi?\u201d diye sordum.\n\nKad\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sallad\u0131.\n\n\u201cBaban, annenin do\u011fumdan sonra \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc s\u00f6ylemi\u015f. Do\u011fru. Fakat yapt\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 anlatamam\u0131\u015f.\u201d\n\n\u015eevket oturdu.\n\n\u201c1996\u2019n\u0131n kas\u0131m\u0131nda Ankara yak\u0131nlar\u0131nda \u00f6zel bir do\u011fumevi vard\u0131,\u201d dedi. \u201cParas\u0131 ve kimsesi olmayan kad\u0131nlar\u0131 \u00fccretsiz bar\u0131nd\u0131rd\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylerlerdi. Sonra \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131, imzalar\u0131n\u0131 bile anlamad\u0131klar\u0131 belgelerle ellerinden al\u0131rlard\u0131.\u201d\n\n\u201cNas\u0131l yani? \u00c7ocuklar\u0131 sat\u0131yorlar m\u0131yd\u0131?\u201d\n\n\u201cBunun kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131nda para al\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131na dair kay\u0131tlar vard\u0131. Ama o zaman elimizde yeterli kan\u0131t yoktu. Annelerin bir k\u0131sm\u0131na bebeklerinin \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fc s\u00f6ylenmi\u015fti.\u201d\n\nBo\u011faz\u0131m d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmlendi.\n\nKad\u0131n foto\u011frafa dokundu.\n\n\u201cAnnen oraya do\u011fum yapmak i\u00e7in gitmi\u015fti. Bir gece ba\u015fka bir kad\u0131n\u0131n bebe\u011finin g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6rd\u00fc. \u00dcstelik kendi k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 da ertesi sabah ba\u015fka hastaneye nakledeceklerini duymu\u015ftu. O k\u0131z sendin.\u201d\n\nKad\u0131n, annemin hastanedeki ba\u015fka kad\u0131nlar\u0131n bebeklerine ait bileklikleri ve kaybolan dosya numaralar\u0131n\u0131 k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir k\u00e2\u011f\u0131da yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlatt\u0131. Bilekliklerden birini de foto\u011fraftaki battaniyenin i\u00e7ine dikmi\u015fti. Y\u0131llarca herkesin arad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ilk ipucu buymu\u015f.\n\n\u201cAnnem b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131 tek ba\u015f\u0131na m\u0131 yapt\u0131?\u201d\n\n\u201cHay\u0131r. Ba\u015fka kad\u0131nlar da ona yard\u0131m etti. Fakat ka\u00e7\u0131\u015f gecesi kimse otob\u00fcs\u00fcn gelece\u011finden emin de\u011fildi. Kap\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131nda herkes korkudan yerinde kalm\u0131\u015f. Annen, kuca\u011f\u0131nda seninle ilk ad\u0131m\u0131 atm\u0131\u015f.\u201d\n\n\u201cBabam neredeydi?\u201d\n\n\u201cAnnenle evli de\u011fildi,\u201d dedi kad\u0131n yava\u015f\u00e7a. \u201cBirbirlerini daha \u00f6nce tan\u0131m\u0131yorlard\u0131.\u201d\n\nSanki odan\u0131n zemini kaym\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\n\u015eevket s\u00f6ze girdi.\n\n\u201cTacettin o gece \u015fehirler aras\u0131 terminale bo\u015f otob\u00fcs g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcyordu. Yard\u0131m isteyen bir kad\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcn\u00fc kesince hastanenin arka kap\u0131s\u0131na geldi. On dokuz ki\u015fi haz\u0131r bekliyordu: anneler, \u00e7ocuklar, tan\u0131kl\u0131k etmeyi kabul eden iki \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan&#8230;\u201d\n\n\u201cBiletli yolcu yoktu,\u201d dedim, defterdeki notlar\u0131 hat\u0131rlayarak.\n\n\u201c\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc isimleri yaz\u0131l\u0131rsa onlar\u0131 bulacaklard\u0131. Baban perdeleri kapatt\u0131, ana yoldan \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p k\u00f6y yollar\u0131n\u0131 kulland\u0131. Sabah olmadan hepsini Eski\u015fehir\u2019deki g\u00fcvenli bir sa\u011fl\u0131k kurulu\u015funa ula\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131. Ben de o yolculardand\u0131m; k\u0131z karde\u015fimi ve bebe\u011fini oradan \u00e7\u0131karabilmek i\u00e7in binmi\u015ftim.\u201d\n\nO gecenin gerisini hayalimde canland\u0131rd\u0131m: Ya\u011fmur, karanl\u0131k bir otob\u00fcs, birbirine sar\u0131lm\u0131\u015f anneler&#8230; Babam bir g\u00fczerg\u00e2h\u0131 kaybetmeyi g\u00f6ze alm\u0131\u015f, tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131 insanlar\u0131n kaybolmas\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6nlemeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\n\u201cPeki beni neden yan\u0131nda tuttu?\u201d\n\nKad\u0131n a\u011flamamak i\u00e7in dudaklar\u0131n\u0131 s\u0131kt\u0131.\n\n\u201cAnnen birka\u00e7 hafta sonra hastaland\u0131. Tedavi g\u00f6r\u00fcrken seni ona emanet etti. \u0130yile\u015femedi. Hastaneden birilerinin seni yeniden arad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenince baban \u00f6nce ge\u00e7ici koruyuculu\u011funu \u00fcstlendi. Sonra mahkeme karar\u0131yla seni evlat edindi.\u201d\n\nSandalyenin kenar\u0131na tutundum.\n\n\u201cYani bana otuz y\u0131ld\u0131r babam dedi\u011fim adam, beni terk edilmi\u015f bir bebek olarak de\u011fil, korunmas\u0131 gereken bir insan olarak se\u00e7mi\u015fti.\u201d\n\n\u0130\u00e7imde \u00f6fke de vard\u0131. Ger\u00e7e\u011fi neden benden saklam\u0131\u015ft\u0131? Fakat o soruyu soramadan \u015eevket defteri a\u00e7t\u0131.\n\n\u201cG\u00fcnseli, k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 soru i\u015faretini g\u00f6rd\u00fcn. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc hastanenin resm\u00ee kay\u0131tlar\u0131nda senin i\u00e7in iki ayr\u0131 sonu\u00e7 vard\u0131: \u2018\u00f6ld\u00fc\u2019 ve \u2018taburcu edildi\u2019. Baban bunlardan hangisinin sahte oldu\u011funu kan\u0131tlamak i\u00e7in y\u0131llarca u\u011fra\u015ft\u0131.\u201d\n\n\u201cBana neden bir kez olsun s\u00f6ylemedi?\u201d diye sordum.\n\n\u201cY\u0131llarca pe\u015finize d\u00fc\u015f\u00fclmesinden korktu,\u201d dedi kad\u0131n. \u201cSonra korku al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131\u011fa d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Seni sevdi\u011fi i\u00e7in hakl\u0131 oldu\u011funu sanm\u0131\u015f olabilir. Oysa bu, senin de ge\u00e7mi\u015findi.\u201d\n\nOnu sevenlerin yanl\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131 da s\u00f6yleyebilmesine \u015fa\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m.\n\n\u201cBunca y\u0131l herkese yard\u0131m\u0131 nas\u0131l yeti\u015ftirdi?\u201d\n\n\u015eevket hafif\u00e7e g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi.\n\n\u201c\u0130lk y\u0131llar kendi maa\u015f\u0131ndan verdi. Sonra kurtard\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00e7ocuklar b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fc. Kimi \u00f6\u011fretmen, kimi esnaf, kimi doktor oldu. Birbirimize burs, kira ve i\u015f bulduk. Baban yaln\u0131zca yard\u0131m\u0131 ihtiya\u00e7 sahibine ula\u015ft\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131. Kimseyi bor\u00e7lu hissettirmezdi.\u201d\n\n\u015eevket eski bir makbuz g\u00f6sterdi. Babam bir gencin \u00fcniversite kayd\u0131 i\u00e7in kendi birikimini vermi\u015fti. \u00c7ocukken yeni ayakkab\u0131 istedi\u011fim g\u00fcn\u00fc hat\u0131rlay\u0131nca i\u00e7im s\u0131zlad\u0131. \u0130yili\u011fi b\u00fcy\u00fckt\u00fc, ama bize bedeli de olmu\u015ftu.\n\nHer ay\u0131n ikinci per\u015fembesi, o deri \u00e7anta, saklanan \u00e7izimler&#8230; Hepsi yerini buluyordu. Mavi kurdele ise o gece annemin battaniyeden kopar\u0131p otob\u00fcs\u00fcn aynas\u0131na ba\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 par\u00e7an\u0131n hat\u0131ras\u0131yd\u0131.\n\nD\u0131\u015far\u0131da fren sesi duyuldu.\n\nGri otomobil kap\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde durmu\u015ftu. Tak\u0131m elbiseli adam indi ve bah\u00e7e kap\u0131s\u0131na y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc.\n\n\u201cKap\u0131y\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131n,\u201d diye ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131. \u201cBiz sadece eski belgeleri almak istiyoruz. Size bir zarar\u0131m\u0131z olmayacak.\u201d\n\n\u015eevket beni mutfa\u011f\u0131n arka kap\u0131s\u0131na \u00e7ekti. Kad\u0131nsa tezg\u00e2h\u0131n alt\u0131ndaki gev\u015fek tahtay\u0131 kald\u0131rd\u0131. Oradan a\u011f\u0131r bir metal kutu \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131.\n\n\u201cTacettin bunu son seferinde Ankara\u2019dan getirdi,\u201d dedi. \u201cBeni de eski eve \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131. Kendi evindeki \u00e7ekmeceye bo\u015f bir kutu koymu\u015f; arayanlar\u0131 oyalamak istemi\u015f. \u00c7amurlu iz de onu arayanlardan kalm\u0131\u015f olmal\u0131.\u201d\n\nKutunun i\u00e7inde el yaz\u0131l\u0131 do\u011fum kay\u0131tlar\u0131, para aktar\u0131mlar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6steren sayfalar ve yeni tarihli noter tasdikli bir ifade vard\u0131. En \u00fcstte de babam\u0131n bana yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 mektup duruyordu.\n\n\u201cSevgili k\u0131z\u0131m,\u201d diye ba\u015flad\u0131m titreyerek. \u201cSana her \u015feyi anlatmay\u0131 defalarca denedim. \u0130lk defas\u0131nda k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckt\u00fcn. Sonra seni kaybetmekten korktum. Bu korkumun do\u011fru oldu\u011funu s\u00f6ylemiyorum. Bana k\u0131zmaya hakk\u0131n var.\u201d\n\nD\u0131\u015f kap\u0131ya sert bir tekme at\u0131ld\u0131.\n\nBabam\u0131n son sat\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131 h\u0131zla okudum.\n\n\u201c\u0130nsan bir \u00e7ocu\u011fun babas\u0131 olmak i\u00e7in ayn\u0131 kan\u0131 ta\u015f\u0131mak zorunda de\u011fildir. Ama ger\u00e7e\u011fini \u00f6\u011frenmeye hakk\u0131 vard\u0131r. Ben o hakk\u0131 senden geciktirdim. Beni affedebilirsen, bunu yapt\u0131klar\u0131mla de\u011fil, b\u00fct\u00fcn kusurlar\u0131mla hat\u0131rla.\u201d\n\nKap\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131nda adam mutfa\u011fa kadar gelmi\u015fti. Elini uzat\u0131p kutuyu istedi.\n\n\u201cBunlar eski bir iftira. \u00dczerine kapanm\u0131\u015f dosyalar i\u00e7in hayat\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 karartmay\u0131n.\u201d\n\n\u201cDosyalar kapanm\u0131\u015f olabilir,\u201d dedim. \u201cAma annelerin ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131 kapanmad\u0131.\u201d\n\nAdam \u00fczerime y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc anda sokaktan polis sireni duyuldu. \u015eevket\u2019in daha \u00f6nce yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 ihbar sayesinde ekipler yeti\u015fmi\u015fti. Adam ka\u00e7maya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131, fakat bah\u00e7e \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015f\u0131nda durduruldu. Ben ise babam\u0131n mektubunu titreyen ellerimle katlay\u0131p cebime koydum.\n\nPolis belgeleri tutanakla teslim ald\u0131. Kad\u0131n da y\u0131llard\u0131r saklad\u0131\u011f\u0131 notlar\u0131 verdi. Gri otomobilin s\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fcs\u00fc, eski do\u011fumevi y\u00f6neticileriyle ba\u011flant\u0131l\u0131 bir \u015firket i\u00e7in \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu. Belgelerin ortaya \u00e7\u0131kmas\u0131n\u0131 engellemek \u00fczere g\u00f6nderildi\u011fini s\u00f6yledi. Babam\u0131n kalp kriziyle bu adamlar aras\u0131nda bir ba\u011flant\u0131 bulunamad\u0131.\n\nSonraki aylar kolay ge\u00e7medi. Babam\u0131n mektubunu her okuyu\u015fumda ayn\u0131 soruyla bo\u011fu\u015ftum: Neden benim karar vermeme izin vermemi\u015fti? \u015eevket hi\u00e7bir zaman onu kusursuz g\u00f6stermeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmad\u0131.\n\n\u201c\u0130yi insanlar da korkuyla yanl\u0131\u015f karar verebilir,\u201d dedi bir g\u00fcn. \u201c\u00d6nemli olan senin art\u0131k ger\u00e7e\u011fi bilmen.\u201d\n\nAnnemin mezar\u0131n\u0131 da o s\u00fcre\u00e7te buldum. Babam her y\u0131l oraya gitmi\u015f; k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir kavanoza \u00e7i\u00e7ek b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Mezar ta\u015f\u0131nda onun ad\u0131n\u0131 ilk kez okurken hi\u00e7bir \u015fey s\u00f6ylemedim. Tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131m annemi bir anda tan\u0131m\u0131\u015f gibi davranamazd\u0131m. Yine de ellerimi topra\u011fa koyup, \u201cBeni yaln\u0131z b\u0131rakmad\u0131n,\u201d diye f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131m. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc o gece otob\u00fcse ilk ad\u0131m\u0131 atan\u0131n kim oldu\u011funu art\u0131k biliyordum.\n\nBelgeler \u00fczerine yeni bir soru\u015fturma a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131. Eski kay\u0131tlar incelendi; tehdit ve delilleri gizleme giri\u015fimleri ayr\u0131ca ara\u015ft\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131. Herkesin hakk\u0131n\u0131 almas\u0131 zaman isteyecekti. Ama art\u0131k susan tan\u0131klar tek tek konu\u015fuyordu.\n\nBir pazar sabah\u0131 \u015eevket\u2019le babam\u0131n mezar\u0131na gittim. \u00c7antamda onun saklad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00e7ocuk resimlerinden biri vard\u0131: Mavi bir otob\u00fcs, kocaman bir g\u00fcne\u015f ve yan yana duran insanlar.\n\nResmi mezar ta\u015f\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcne b\u0131rakt\u0131m.\n\n\u201cBaba,\u201d dedim, \u201cbana ger\u00e7e\u011fi ge\u00e7 s\u00f6yledin. Bunun ac\u0131s\u0131 kolay dinmeyecek. Ama beni sevdi\u011finden hi\u00e7 \u015f\u00fcphe etmedim.\u201d\n\nSonra mezarl\u0131kta g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm y\u00fczlerce insan\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. Tacettin Kaptan\u2019\u0131n tek bir gizli hayat\u0131 yoktu. Onun sessizce dokundu\u011fu y\u00fczlerce hayat vard\u0131.\n\n\u015eevket\u2019le birlikte bir dayan\u0131\u015fma bursu kurduk. Ad\u0131n\u0131 babam\u0131n de\u011fil, Mavi Kurdele koyduk. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc babam\u0131n istedi\u011fi gibi yard\u0131m eden de\u011fil, yeniden aya\u011fa kalkan insanlar g\u00f6r\u00fcns\u00fcn istedim.\n\nO g\u00fcn mezarl\u0131ktan ayr\u0131l\u0131rken ilk defa kendimi kimsesiz de\u011fil, b\u00fcy\u00fck bir ailenin par\u00e7as\u0131 hissettim. Babam bana hayat vermemi\u015f olabilir; ama hayat\u0131m boyunca nereye ait oldu\u011fumu bana sevgisiyle g\u00f6stermi\u015fti.\n\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl>\n\t\t\t<br style='clear: both' \/>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1641,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1640","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-foto-galeri"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1640","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1640"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1640\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1643,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1640\/revisions\/1643"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1641"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1640"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1640"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1640"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}