{"id":1674,"date":"2026-10-15T20:21:34","date_gmt":"2026-10-15T20:21:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/?p=1674"},"modified":"2026-10-15T20:21:34","modified_gmt":"2026-10-15T20:21:34","slug":"altmis-dokuz-yasimda-evimi-sattim-ve-cocuklarim-vazgecmem-icin-gunlerce-yalvarmasina-ragmen-dunya-turuna-cikmaya-karar-verdim-sonra-avustralyada-kisa-sure-once-tanistigim-dul-bir-adam-beni","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/altmis-dokuz-yasimda-evimi-sattim-ve-cocuklarim-vazgecmem-icin-gunlerce-yalvarmasina-ragmen-dunya-turuna-cikmaya-karar-verdim-sonra-avustralyada-kisa-sure-once-tanistigim-dul-bir-adam-beni\/","title":{"rendered":"Altm\u0131\u015f dokuz ya\u015f\u0131mda evimi satt\u0131m ve \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m vazge\u00e7mem i\u00e7in g\u00fcnlerce yalvarmas\u0131na ra\u011fmen d\u00fcnya turuna \u00e7\u0131kmaya karar verdim. Sonra Avustralya\u2019da, k\u0131sa s\u00fcre \u00f6nce tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m dul bir adam beni kahve i\u00e7mek i\u00e7in evine davet etti."},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t\t<style>\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 {\n\t\t\t\tmargin: auto;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-item {\n\t\t\t\tfloat: left;\n\t\t\t\tmargin-top: 10px;\n\t\t\t\ttext-align: center;\n\t\t\t\twidth: 33%;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 img {\n\t\t\t\tborder: 2px solid #cfcfcf;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-caption {\n\t\t\t\tmargin-left: 0;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t\/* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes\/media.php *\/\n\t\t<\/style>\n\t\t<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-1674 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/altmis-dokuz-yasimda-evimi-sattim-ve-cocuklarim-vazgecmem-icin-gunlerce-yalvarmasina-ragmen-dunya-turuna-cikmaya-karar-verdim-sonra-avustralyada-kisa-sure-once-tanistigim-dul-bir-adam-beni\/abstract-nature-painting-6\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/gggh-4-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-1675\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-1675'>\n\t\t\t\tZarf\u0131n \u00fczerinde benim k\u0131zl\u0131k soyad\u0131m yaz\u0131yordu.\n\nBir s\u00fcre nefes alamad\u0131m.\n\nTamer zarf\u0131 bana uzat\u0131rken parmaklar\u0131n\u0131n titredi\u011fini g\u00f6rd\u00fcm.\n\n\u201cBunu a\u00e7madan \u00f6nce sana bir \u015fey s\u00f6ylemem gerekiyor.\u201d dedi.\n\nG\u00f6zlerimi ondan ay\u0131rmad\u0131m.\n\n\u201c\u00d6nce bana o tablonun burada ne i\u015fi oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yle.\u201d\n\nTamer ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 e\u011fdi.\n\n\u201cTablo benim de\u011fildi.\u201d\n\n\u201cPeki kimindi?\u201d\n\nCevap vermek yerine kar\u015f\u0131mdaki koltu\u011fa oturdu. Az \u00f6nce kahve haz\u0131rlarken ne\u015feyle eski plaklardan s\u00f6z eden adam gitmi\u015f, yerine y\u0131llard\u0131r a\u011f\u0131r bir s\u0131rr\u0131 ta\u015f\u0131yan bamba\u015fka biri gelmi\u015fti.\n\nSonunda ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131rd\u0131.\n\n\u201cAylin\u2019ind\u0131.\u201d\n\nBu ismi duydu\u011fum anda dizlerimin ba\u011f\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcld\u00fc.\n\nKoltu\u011fun kenar\u0131na tutundum.\n\nAylin.\n\nK\u0131rk alt\u0131 y\u0131ld\u0131r ailemizde kimsenin s\u00f6ylemedi\u011fi isim.\n\nAnnemin ablas\u0131.\n\nBen \u00e7ocukken bana sa\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131 \u00f6ren, gizlice \u00e7ikolata veren, babam k\u0131zd\u0131\u011f\u0131nda beni arkas\u0131na saklayan teyzem.\n\nVe ben yirmi \u00fc\u00e7 ya\u015f\u0131ndayken bir gece ans\u0131z\u0131n ortadan kaybolan kad\u0131n.\n\nAilem bize onun \u201cutan\u0131lacak bir \u015fey yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131\u201d s\u00f6ylemi\u015fti.\n\nBabam evde onun ad\u0131n\u0131n an\u0131lmas\u0131n\u0131 yasaklam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\nAnnem ise her sorumda a\u011flam\u0131\u015f ama tek kelime etmemi\u015fti.\n\nAylin kayboldu\u011fu gece o tablo da evden yok olmu\u015ftu.\n\nY\u0131llarca herkes tabloyu onun \u00e7ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylemi\u015fti.\n\n\u201cSen Aylin\u2019i nereden tan\u0131yorsun?\u201d diye sordum.\n\nTamer derin bir nefes ald\u0131.\n\n\u201c\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc o benim kar\u0131md\u0131.\u201d\n\nSanki salonun duvarlar\u0131 \u00fczerime do\u011fru kapand\u0131.\n\n\u201cNe?\u201d\n\n\u201cAylin\u2019le k\u0131rk \u00fc\u00e7 y\u0131l evli kald\u0131k.\u201d\n\nAya\u011fa kalkt\u0131m.\n\n\u201cBu m\u00fcmk\u00fcn de\u011fil.\u201d\n\n\u201cM\u00fcmk\u00fcn.\u201d\n\n\u201cHay\u0131r! Teyzem ortadan kayboldu\u011funda hepimiz onun \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fck.\u201d\n\nTamer\u2019in g\u00f6zleri doldu.\n\n\u201c\u00d6lmedi. Avustralya\u2019ya geldi.\u201d\n\n\u201cBize neden haber vermedi?\u201d\n\nTamer elindeki zarfa bakt\u0131.\n\n\u201c\u0130\u015fte bunu kendisinin anlatmas\u0131n\u0131 istedi.\u201d\n\nZarf\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131m.\n\n\u0130\u00e7inden birka\u00e7 sayfa \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131.\n\nK\u00e2\u011f\u0131tlar sararm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\n\u0130lk sat\u0131r\u0131 okudu\u011fumda ellerim yeniden titremeye ba\u015flad\u0131.\n\nSevgili k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck Nalan\u2019\u0131m,\n\nG\u00f6zlerimi kapatt\u0131m.\n\nBana \u00e7ocuklu\u011fumda yaln\u0131zca Aylin b\u00f6yle seslenirdi.\n\nOkumaya devam ettim.\n\nE\u011fer bu mektup elindeyse, demek ki yollar\u0131m\u0131z benim hayatta oldu\u011fum d\u00f6nemde yeniden kesi\u015fmedi. Bunun i\u00e7in senden \u00f6z\u00fcr dilemek istiyorum. Ama \u015funu bilmeni istiyorum: Ben sizden ka\u00e7mad\u0131m. Gitmeye mecbur b\u0131rak\u0131ld\u0131m.\n\nKalbim h\u0131zland\u0131.\n\nTamer sessizce oturuyordu.\n\nMektuptaki sonraki sat\u0131rlar ailem hakk\u0131nda bildi\u011fim her \u015feyi de\u011fi\u015ftirdi.\n\nAylin yirmili ya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131ndayken Vedat ad\u0131nda bir adama \u00e2\u015f\u0131k olmu\u015f.\n\nVedat\u2019\u0131n ailesi varl\u0131kl\u0131 de\u011filmi\u015f.\n\n\u00dcstelik ba\u015fka bir \u015fehirden gelmi\u015f ve Aylin\u2019in babas\u0131, yani dedem, bu ili\u015fkiye \u015fiddetle kar\u015f\u0131 \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015f.\n\nAma as\u0131l sorun bu de\u011filmi\u015f&#8230;\n\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon portrait'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/altmis-dokuz-yasimda-evimi-sattim-ve-cocuklarim-vazgecmem-icin-gunlerce-yalvarmasina-ragmen-dunya-turuna-cikmaya-karar-verdim-sonra-avustralyada-kisa-sure-once-tanistigim-dul-bir-adam-beni\/kkm\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/kkm-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-1676\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-1676'>\n\t\t\t\tAylin hamile kalm\u0131\u015f.\n\nBunu ailesine s\u00f6yledi\u011finde b\u00fcy\u00fck bir kavga \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015f.\n\nDedem, \u201cBu aileyi rezil edemezsin.\u201d diyerek onu evden kovmakla tehdit etmi\u015f.\n\nAylin evlenmek istemi\u015f.\n\nAncak birka\u00e7 hafta sonra Vedat ge\u00e7irdi\u011fi i\u015f kazas\u0131nda hayat\u0131n\u0131 kaybetmi\u015f.\n\nAylin yapayaln\u0131z kalm\u0131\u015f.\n\nMektupta yaz\u0131lan sonraki c\u00fcmleyi \u00fc\u00e7 kez okudum.\n\nDo\u011furdu\u011fum bebe\u011fi elimden ald\u0131lar.\n\nBo\u011faz\u0131m d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmlendi.\n\n\u201cNe demek bu?\u201d\n\nTamer g\u00f6zlerini yere indirdi.\n\n\u201cDevam et.\u201d\n\nAylin do\u011fumdan sonra k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 yaln\u0131zca birka\u00e7 dakika g\u00f6rebilmi\u015f.\n\nAilesi, bebe\u011fin \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc s\u00f6ylemi\u015f.\n\nAma bu do\u011fru de\u011filmi\u015f.\n\nBebek ba\u015fka bir aileye verilmi\u015f.\n\nAylin ger\u00e7e\u011fi aylar sonra tesad\u00fcfen \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015f.\n\nBunun \u00fczerine babas\u0131yla korkun\u00e7 bir tart\u0131\u015fma ya\u015fam\u0131\u015f.\n\nO gece evden ayr\u0131lm\u0131\u015f.\n\nYan\u0131na yaln\u0131zca birka\u00e7 par\u00e7a k\u0131yafet ve g\u00f6l evini g\u00f6steren tabloyu alm\u0131\u015f.\n\n\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc tabloyu Vedat yapm\u0131\u015f.\n\n\u0130\u015fte ailemizin y\u0131llarca \u201cAylin\u2019in \u00e7ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 tablo\u201d dedi\u011fi \u015fey asl\u0131nda ona aitmi\u015f.\n\nMektubu okurken g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131m k\u00e2\u011f\u0131da d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyordu.\n\nAma as\u0131l sars\u0131c\u0131 b\u00f6l\u00fcm hen\u00fcz gelmemi\u015fti.\n\nNalan, senden uzak kalmam\u0131n as\u0131l sebebi babam de\u011fildi. Bir g\u00fcn ger\u00e7e\u011fi \u00f6\u011frendi\u011fimde art\u0131k geri d\u00f6nmeye cesaret edemedim. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc y\u0131llard\u0131r arad\u0131\u011f\u0131m k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n kim oldu\u011funu sonunda bulmu\u015ftum.\n\nK\u00e2\u011f\u0131d\u0131 biraz a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 indirdim.\n\nTamer\u2019e bakt\u0131m.\n\n\u201cKimmi\u015f?\u201d\n\nTamer cevap vermedi.\n\nDevam ettim.\n\nK\u0131z\u0131m\u0131 yabanc\u0131 bir aileye vermemi\u015fler. Onu aile i\u00e7inde b\u00fcy\u00fctm\u00fc\u015fler.\n\nNefesim kesildi.\n\nBir sonraki sat\u0131rda yaln\u0131zca birka\u00e7 kelime vard\u0131.\n\nAma o birka\u00e7 kelime b\u00fct\u00fcn hayat\u0131m\u0131 yerinden oynatt\u0131.\n\nO \u00e7ocuk sendin, Nalan.\n\nMektup ellerimden kayd\u0131.\n\n\u201cHay\u0131r\u2026\u201d\n\nTamer aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131 ama bana yakla\u015fmad\u0131.\n\n\u201cBunun zor oldu\u011funu biliyorum.\u201d\n\n\u201cHay\u0131r!\u201d\n\nBa\u015f\u0131m\u0131 iki yana sallad\u0131m.\n\n\u201cBenim annem G\u00fclseren\u2019di.\u201d\n\n\u201cG\u00fclseren seni b\u00fcy\u00fctt\u00fc.\u201d dedi Tamer yava\u015f\u00e7a. \u201cAylin seni d\u00fcnyaya getirdi.\u201d\n\nB\u00fct\u00fcn \u00e7ocuklu\u011fum g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn \u00f6n\u00fcnden ge\u00e7ti.\n\nAnnem sand\u0131\u011f\u0131m G\u00fclseren\u2019in bana kar\u015f\u0131 a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 korumac\u0131 olu\u015fu.\n\nAylin\u2019in bana di\u011fer ye\u011fenlerinden farkl\u0131 davranmas\u0131.\n\nBazen beni uzun uzun seyredip sebepsiz yere a\u011flamas\u0131.\n\nKaybolmadan birka\u00e7 g\u00fcn \u00f6nce sa\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131 tararken,\n\n\u201cNe olursa olsun seni \u00e7ok sevdi\u011fimi unutma.\u201d\n\ndemesi.\n\nBen o zaman bunun s\u0131radan bir c\u00fcmle oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm.\n\nMe\u011fer de\u011fildi.\n\n\u201cPeki neden geri d\u00f6nmedi?\u201d diye sordum.\n\nBu kez sesim \u00f6fkeli \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\n\u201cMadem annemdi, neden beni b\u0131rakt\u0131?\u201d\n\nTamer\u2019in g\u00f6zlerinden ya\u015flar s\u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fc.\n\n\u201c\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc seni almak i\u00e7in d\u00f6nd\u00fc.\u201d\n\nDonup kald\u0131m.\n\n\u201cNe?\u201d\n\n\u201cAylin Avustralya\u2019ya geldikten yakla\u015f\u0131k iki y\u0131l sonra T\u00fcrkiye\u2019ye geri gitmi\u015f. Seni bulup her \u015feyi anlatmak istemi\u015f. Ama ailenden biri onunla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f.\u201d\n\n\u201cKim?\u201d\n\n\u201cG\u00fclseren.\u201d\n\nKalbime a\u011f\u0131r bir ta\u015f oturdu.\n\nTamer devam etti.\n\n\u201cG\u00fclseren ona senin mutlu oldu\u011funu s\u00f6ylemi\u015f. Onu annen olarak bildi\u011fini, ger\u00e7e\u011fin seni par\u00e7alayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylemi\u015f. Aylin de korkmu\u015f.\u201d\n\nBa\u015f\u0131m\u0131 ellerimin aras\u0131na ald\u0131m.\n\n\u201cYani b\u00fct\u00fcn hayat\u0131m bir yalanm\u0131\u015f.\u201d\n\nTamer hemen kar\u015f\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131.\n\n\u201cHay\u0131r. Bence iki farkl\u0131 ger\u00e7e\u011fin i\u00e7inde b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fcn. Biri seni d\u00fcnyaya getirdi. Di\u011feri seni b\u00fcy\u00fctt\u00fc. \u0130kisi de seni sevdi. Ama yeti\u015fkinlerin korkular\u0131 y\u00fcz\u00fcnden sana se\u00e7im hakk\u0131 verilmedi.\u201d\n\nBu c\u00fcmle beni susturdu.\n\nBir s\u00fcre sadece \u015f\u00f6minenin \u00fczerindeki tabloya bakt\u0131m.\n\nSonra akl\u0131ma bir \u015fey geldi.\n\n\u201cAylin nerede?\u201d\n\nTamer\u2019in y\u00fcz\u00fc de\u011fi\u015fti.\n\nCevab\u0131 zaten anlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.\n\n\u201c\u00dc\u00e7 y\u0131l \u00f6nce \u00f6ld\u00fc.\u201d dedi.\n\nG\u00f6zlerimi kapatt\u0131m.\n\nHayat\u0131m boyunca annemin kim oldu\u011funu bilmeden ya\u015fam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.\n\nVe ger\u00e7e\u011fi \u00f6\u011frendi\u011fimde onu bulmak i\u00e7in \u00fc\u00e7 y\u0131l ge\u00e7 kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.\n\n\u201cBeni hi\u00e7 arad\u0131 m\u0131?\u201d\n\nTamer aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131 ve kitapl\u0131\u011f\u0131n alt\u0131ndaki kutuyu \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131.\n\n\u0130\u00e7inden onlarca zarf ald\u0131.\n\nHepsinin \u00fczerinde benim ad\u0131m vard\u0131.\n\n\u201cHer do\u011fum g\u00fcn\u00fcnde sana mektup yazd\u0131.\u201d\n\n\u015ea\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131kla ona bakt\u0131m.\n\n\u201cG\u00f6ndermedi mi?\u201d\n\n\u201cG\u00f6nderemedi. Bazen \u2018Onun hayat\u0131n\u0131 alt\u00fcst etmeye hakk\u0131m yok.\u2019 derdi. Son y\u0131llar\u0131nda ise seni bulmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. Eski adresler, evlilik soyadlar\u0131\u2026 izini kaybetmi\u015ftik.\u201d\n\nTamer ac\u0131 bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemeyle devam etti.\n\n\u201cSonra \u00fc\u00e7 hafta \u00f6nce Sydney\u2019deki o k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck kafede sen bana k\u0131zl\u0131k soyad\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yledin.\u201d\n\nO an tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z g\u00fcn\u00fc hat\u0131rlad\u0131m.\n\nOna ailemden s\u00f6z ederken k\u0131zl\u0131k soyad\u0131m\u0131 da s\u00f6ylemi\u015ftim.\n\nTamer\u2019in birka\u00e7 saniye sessiz kald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 fark etmi\u015f ama \u00fczerinde durmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.\n\n\u201cYani beni ba\u015f\u0131ndan beri tan\u0131yordun?\u201d\n\n\u201c\u015e\u00fcphelendim. Emin de\u011fildim.\u201d\n\n\u201cBu y\u00fczden mi beni eve davet ettin?\u201d\n\nBa\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sallad\u0131.\n\n\u201cAylin bana \u00f6lmeden \u00f6nce \u015f\u00f6yle demi\u015fti: \u2018E\u011fer bir g\u00fcn Nalan\u2019\u0131 bulursan ona do\u011frudan s\u00f6yleme. \u00d6nce tabloyu g\u00f6ster. E\u011fer hat\u0131rlarsa, gerisini anlat.\u2019\u201d\n\nG\u00f6zlerim yeniden tabloya d\u00f6nd\u00fc.\n\nG\u00f6l.\n\n\u0130ki \u00e7am a\u011fac\u0131.\n\nEski iskele.\n\n\u00c7ocuklu\u011fum.\n\nAnnem oldu\u011funu bilmedi\u011fim kad\u0131n\u0131n elleri.\n\nBirden d\u00fcnyay\u0131 dola\u015fmaya \u00e7\u0131kma karar\u0131m\u0131n beni buraya getirdi\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm.\n\n\u00c7ocuklar\u0131m evimi satmam\u0131 istememi\u015fti.\n\n\u201cBu ya\u015fta nereye gidiyorsun?\u201d demi\u015flerdi.\n\nE\u011fer onlar\u0131 dinleseydim, hayat\u0131m\u0131n en b\u00fcy\u00fck ger\u00e7e\u011fini hi\u00e7 \u00f6\u011frenmeyecektim.\n\nO gece Tamer\u2019in evinden ayr\u0131lmad\u0131m.\n\nSabaha kadar Aylin\u2019in mektuplar\u0131n\u0131 okudum.\n\n\u0130lk mektubunda be\u015f ya\u015f\u0131ndayd\u0131m.\n\nSon mektubunda altm\u0131\u015f alt\u0131.\n\nHayat\u0131m\u0131n neredeyse tamam\u0131, uzaktan beni seven bir kad\u0131n\u0131n c\u00fcmleleri aras\u0131nda duruyordu.\n\nSabah oldu\u011funda son mektubu a\u00e7t\u0131m.\n\nAylin \u015f\u00f6yle yazm\u0131\u015ft\u0131:\n\nNalan\u2019\u0131m, bir g\u00fcn beni \u00f6\u011frenirsen sak\u0131n hayat\u0131n\u0131 kay\u0131p y\u0131llar\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnerek ge\u00e7irme. Benim en b\u00fcy\u00fck hatam, ge\u00e7mi\u015f y\u00fcz\u00fcnden gelece\u011fimi yeterince ya\u015fayamamak oldu. Sen ayn\u0131 hatay\u0131 yapma. Kimseye ait olmak zorunda de\u011filsin. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131na, ailene, ge\u00e7mi\u015fine bile. \u00d6nce kendine ait ol. Sonra verdi\u011fin sevginin ger\u00e7ekten sevgi oldu\u011funu anlars\u0131n.\n\nUzun s\u00fcre o sat\u0131rlara bakt\u0131m.\n\nSonra g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedim.\n\n\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc hayat\u0131mda ilk kez, altm\u0131\u015f dokuz ya\u015f\u0131nda verdi\u011fim karar\u0131n neden bu kadar do\u011fru oldu\u011funu anlad\u0131m.\n\nD\u00fcnya turumu yar\u0131da kesmedim.\n\nTamer de birka\u00e7 dura\u011f\u0131mda bana e\u015flik etti.\n\nT\u00fcrkiye\u2019ye d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m h\u00e2l\u00e2 bana k\u0131zg\u0131nd\u0131.\n\nAma bu kez onlar\u0131n \u00f6fkesinden korkmad\u0131m.\n\nHepsini bir ak\u015fam yeme\u011fine \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131m.\n\nMasaya Aylin\u2019in son mektubunu koydum.\n\nSonra onlara sakin bir sesle,\n\n\u201cSizi seviyorum. Torunlar\u0131m\u0131 da seviyorum. Ama bundan sonra hayat\u0131m\u0131 yaln\u0131zca sizin ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131za g\u00f6re ya\u015famayaca\u011f\u0131m.\u201d\n\ndedim.\n\nO\u011flum hemen itiraz etti.\n\n\u201cAnne, biz senin aileniz.\u201d\n\nG\u00fcl\u00fcmsedim.\n\n\u201cEvet. Ama aile olmak bir insan\u0131n hayat\u0131na sahip olmak demek de\u011fildir.\u201d\n\nO gece ilk kez kimseye a\u00e7\u0131klama yapmadan sofradan kalkt\u0131m.\n\nAylar sonra \u00e7ocuklar\u0131mla ili\u015fkimiz de\u011fi\u015fmeye ba\u015flad\u0131.\n\nBaz\u0131lar\u0131 bunu di\u011ferlerinden daha \u00e7abuk kabul etti.\n\nAma art\u0131k beni yaln\u0131zca para, \u00e7ocuk bak\u0131m\u0131 ya da bir i\u015f i\u00e7in aram\u0131yorlard\u0131.\n\nBazen telefon \u00e7al\u0131yor ve kar\u015f\u0131mdaki ses sadece,\n\n\u201cAnne, bug\u00fcn nas\u0131ls\u0131n?\u201d\n\ndiye soruyordu.\n\n\u015e\u00f6minenin \u00fczerindeki tabloyu ise Tamer bana verdi.\n\n\u015eimdi yeni ve k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck evimin salonunda as\u0131l\u0131.\n\nHer sabah yan\u0131ndan ge\u00e7erken g\u00f6l k\u0131y\u0131s\u0131ndaki o eski iskeleye bak\u0131yorum.\n\nBir zamanlar o tablonun ailemizden \u00e7al\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 san\u0131yordum.\n\n\u015eimdi biliyorum ki asl\u0131nda \u00e7al\u0131nan \u015fey tablo de\u011fildi.\n\nBir kad\u0131n\u0131n anneli\u011fi\u2026\n\nBir k\u0131z\u0131n ger\u00e7e\u011fi\u2026\n\nVe ikisinin birlikte ge\u00e7irebilece\u011fi k\u0131rk alt\u0131 y\u0131ld\u0131.\n\nO y\u0131llar\u0131 geri alamam.\n\nAma Aylin\u2019in bana b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 son \u00f6\u011f\u00fcd\u00fc ya\u015fayabilirim.\n\n\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc altm\u0131\u015f dokuz ya\u015f\u0131nda \u00f6\u011frendi\u011fim en \u00f6nemli \u015fey \u015fu oldu:\n\n\u0130nsan\u0131n hayat\u0131, ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n ondan beklediklerini yerine getirmek i\u00e7in verilmi\u015f bir bor\u00e7 de\u011fildir.\n\nBazen sevdi\u011fimiz insanlar bizi b\u0131rakmak istemedi\u011fi i\u00e7in de\u011fil, kendilerine laz\u0131m oldu\u011fumuz i\u00e7in gitmemizi istemez.\n\nVe bazen hayat\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n en do\u011fru kap\u0131s\u0131, herkes bize yanl\u0131\u015f y\u00f6ne gitti\u011fimizi s\u00f6ylerken a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131r.\n\nBen d\u00fcnyay\u0131 g\u00f6rmek i\u00e7in yola \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.\n\nAma d\u00fcnyan\u0131n \u00f6b\u00fcr ucunda buldu\u011fum en \u00f6nemli \u015fey bir \u00fclke, bir \u015fehir ya da bir manzara de\u011fildi.\n\nKendime ait olan hayat\u0131 bulmu\u015ftum.\n\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl>\n\t\t\t<br style='clear: both' \/>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1675,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1674","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-foto-galeri"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1674","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1674"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1674\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1677,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1674\/revisions\/1677"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1675"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1674"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1674"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1674"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}