{"id":1725,"date":"2026-10-16T19:27:06","date_gmt":"2026-10-16T19:27:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/?p=1725"},"modified":"2026-10-16T19:27:06","modified_gmt":"2026-10-16T19:27:06","slug":"18-yasinda-evden-kovuldum-yirmi-yil-sonra-kapiyi-acan-kiz-her-seyi-degistirdi-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/18-yasinda-evden-kovuldum-yirmi-yil-sonra-kapiyi-acan-kiz-her-seyi-degistirdi-2\/","title":{"rendered":"18 Ya\u015f\u0131nda Evden Kovuldum; Yirmi Y\u0131l Sonra Kap\u0131y\u0131 A\u00e7an K\u0131z Her \u015eeyi De\u011fi\u015ftirdi"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t\t<style>\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 {\n\t\t\t\tmargin: auto;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-item {\n\t\t\t\tfloat: left;\n\t\t\t\tmargin-top: 10px;\n\t\t\t\ttext-align: center;\n\t\t\t\twidth: 33%;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 img {\n\t\t\t\tborder: 2px solid #cfcfcf;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-caption {\n\t\t\t\tmargin-left: 0;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t\/* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes\/media.php *\/\n\t\t<\/style>\n\t\t<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-1725 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/18-yasinda-evden-kovuldum-yirmi-yil-sonra-kapiyi-acan-kiz-her-seyi-degistirdi-2\/gh-5\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/gh-4-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-1726\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-1726'>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cSen onlar\u0131n k\u0131z\u0131 m\u0131s\u0131n?\u201d\n\n\u0130rem\u2019in bu sorusuna cevap vermeden \u00f6nce annemle babama bakt\u0131m. Hatice g\u00f6zlerini ka\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131. Erol ise kap\u0131n\u0131n kolunu \u00f6yle s\u0131k\u0131yordu ki parmaklar\u0131n\u0131n eklemleri bembeyaz olmu\u015ftu.\n\n\u201cEvet,\u201d dedim. \u201cVe yirmi y\u0131l \u00f6nce, hamile oldu\u011fum i\u00e7in beni bu evden kovdular.\u201d\n\n\u0130rem bir ad\u0131m geriledi.\n\n\u201cBu m\u00fcmk\u00fcn de\u011fil. Anneannem bana senin\u2026\u201d\n\nS\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc bitiremedi. Hatice koluna yap\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\n\u201c\u0130rem, odana \u00e7\u0131k.\u201d\n\n\u201cHay\u0131r,\u201d dedi gen\u00e7 kad\u0131n. \u201cBen art\u0131k \u00e7ocuk de\u011filim. Bu kad\u0131n kim?\u201d\n\n\u201cBen Figen,\u201d dedim. \u201cAnnen kim, s\u00f6yleyebilir misin?\u201d\n\n\u201cMelda Yal\u00e7\u0131n. D\u00f6rt y\u0131l \u00f6nce \u00f6ld\u00fc.\u201d\n\nNefesim kesildi. Melda benim ablamd\u0131. Onun \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc, cenazesinin bile benden sakland\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u015fimdi \u00f6\u011freniyordum.\n\n\u201cMelda benim ablam,\u201d diyebildim. \u201cSen de onun k\u0131z\u0131s\u0131n, \u00f6yle mi?\u201d\n\n\u201cBana annemin bir karde\u015fi oldu\u011funu hi\u00e7 s\u00f6ylemediniz,\u201d dedi \u0130rem.\n\nSonra bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131 salondaki aile foto\u011fraflar\u0131na kayd\u0131.\n\n\u201cGe\u00e7en y\u0131l eski bir foto\u011fraf bulmu\u015ftum. Annemle ayn\u0131 okul \u00fcniformas\u0131n\u0131 giymi\u015f bir k\u0131z vard\u0131. Anneanneme sordum. \u2018Uzak bir akraba\u2019 dedi. O k\u0131z sen miydin?\u201d\n\n\u201cB\u00fcy\u00fck ihtimalle,\u201d diye f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131m. \u201cAblam sa\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131 \u00f6rerdi. Ben de onun pe\u015finden ayr\u0131lmazd\u0131m.\u201d\n\nHatice ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 e\u011fdi. O an yaln\u0131zca \u00e7ocu\u011fumun de\u011fil, ablamla ge\u00e7irebilece\u011fim son yirmi y\u0131l\u0131n da benden al\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hissettim.\n\nBabam araya girdi.\n\n\u201cBu ailenin ge\u00e7mi\u015fi seni ilgilendirmez, Figen. \u00c7\u0131k git.\u201d\n\nTam geri d\u00f6necektim ki \u0130rem sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 kula\u011f\u0131n\u0131n arkas\u0131na att\u0131. Sol kula\u011f\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131nda k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck, hilal bi\u00e7iminde k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 bir iz g\u00f6rd\u00fcm.\n\nDizlerimin ba\u011f\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcld\u00fc.\n\nK\u0131z\u0131m do\u011fdu\u011funda doktor, o do\u011fum lekesinin zarars\u0131z oldu\u011funu s\u00f6ylemi\u015fti. Kuv\u00f6z\u00fcn cam\u0131ndan onu yaln\u0131zca birka\u00e7 dakika g\u00f6rebilmi\u015ftim. Ama o k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck i\u015fareti hi\u00e7 unutmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.\n\n\u201cDo\u011fum g\u00fcn\u00fcn ne zaman?\u201d diye sordum.\n\n\u0130rem \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131kla cevap verdi. Tarih, k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n do\u011fdu\u011fu g\u00fcnd\u00fc.\n\n\u201cNeden soruyorsun?\u201d\n\n\u00c7antamdan sararm\u0131\u015f hastane evrak\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131m.\n\n\u201c\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc o g\u00fcn benim de bir k\u0131z\u0131m do\u011fdu. Bana \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc s\u00f6ylediler.\u201d\n\nHatice duvara yasland\u0131. Babam k\u00e2\u011f\u0131d\u0131 elimden almaya kalk\u0131nca geri \u00e7ekildim.\n\n\u201cDokunma! Yirmi y\u0131l boyunca yalan s\u00f6ylediniz. \u015eimdi ger\u00e7ekleri \u00f6\u011frenece\u011fim.\u201d\n\n\u0130rem\u2019in y\u00fcz\u00fcnde \u00f6nce inanmazl\u0131k, ard\u0131ndan korku belirdi.\n\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/18-yasinda-evden-kovuldum-yirmi-yil-sonra-kapiyi-acan-kiz-her-seyi-degistirdi-2\/gredfcv-9\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/gredfcv-5-150x150.avif\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-1727\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-1727'>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cAnneanne,\u201d diye f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131. \u201cNe demek istiyor?\u201d\n\nAnnem cevap vermedi. Babam ise di\u015flerinin aras\u0131ndan konu\u015ftu:\n\n\u201cMelda onu b\u00fcy\u00fctt\u00fc. Ger\u00e7ek annesi Melda\u2019d\u0131r. Konu kapanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r.\u201d\n\nBir anda y\u0131llarca zihnimde ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131m b\u00fct\u00fcn karanl\u0131k par\u00e7alar yerlerine oturmaya ba\u015flad\u0131.\n\n\u201cDemek ya\u015f\u0131yor,\u201d dedim. \u201cBebe\u011fim ya\u015f\u0131yor.\u201d\n\nBabam\u0131n bana bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 o an\u0131 asla unutmayaca\u011f\u0131m. Y\u00fcz\u00fcnde pi\u015fmanl\u0131k yoktu. Yaln\u0131zca yakalanm\u0131\u015f olman\u0131n \u00f6fkesi vard\u0131.\n\n\u0130rem kap\u0131y\u0131 tamamen a\u00e7t\u0131.\n\n\u201c\u0130\u00e7eri gir, Figen. Bu konu\u015fmay\u0131 herkesin \u00f6n\u00fcnde yapaca\u011f\u0131z.\u201d\n\nSalona girdi\u011fimde evin kokusu bile de\u011fi\u015fmemi\u015fti. Annemin i\u015flemeli masa \u00f6rt\u00fcs\u00fc, babam\u0131n koltu\u011fu, koridordaki eski saat\u2026 Yaln\u0131zca duvardaki aile foto\u011fraflar\u0131nda benim yerim yoktu.\n\n\u0130rem masaya bir foto\u011fraf alb\u00fcm\u00fc b\u0131rakt\u0131.\n\n\u201cAnnemin do\u011fumdan sonraki foto\u011fraflar\u0131 neden yok?\u201d diye sordu. \u201cNe zaman sorsam hastanede \u00e7ekilmediklerini s\u00f6ylediniz.\u201d\n\nHatice a\u011flamaya ba\u015flad\u0131.\n\n\u201cBiz yaln\u0131zca aileyi korumaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131k.\u201d\n\n\u201cKimden?\u201d diye ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131m. \u201cOn sekiz ya\u015f\u0131ndaki k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131zdan m\u0131, yoksa kendi torununuzdan m\u0131?\u201d\n\nAnnem ellerini y\u00fcz\u00fcnden indirdi.\n\n\u201cMelda y\u0131llard\u0131r anne olmak istiyordu. Senin ise okulun, b\u00fct\u00fcn hayat\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcndeydi. Bebe\u011fin erken do\u011funca doktorlar durumunun a\u011f\u0131r oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yledi. Biz de\u2026\u201d\n\n\u201cBiz de ne?\u201d\n\n\u201cSeni daha fazla \u00fczmemek i\u00e7in \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc s\u00f6yledik.\u201d\n\n\u00d6fkemden de\u011fil, duydu\u011fum \u015feyin korkun\u00e7lu\u011fundan titriyordum.\n\n\u201cSiz beni o gece soka\u011fa att\u0131n\u0131z. Sonra bebe\u011fim i\u00e7in g\u00fcnlerce hastane koridorlar\u0131nda bekledim. Bana k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n cenazesini bile g\u00f6steremeyece\u011finizi s\u00f6ylediniz!\u201d\n\nErol aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131.\n\n\u201cMelda onu kurtard\u0131. Sen tek ba\u015f\u0131na ne yapacakt\u0131n?\u201d\n\n\u201cBunu bana sormad\u0131n\u0131z bile!\u201d\n\nOysa do\u011fumdan sonra iyile\u015fir iyile\u015fmez k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir terzi at\u00f6lyesinde \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. \u0130lk maa\u015f\u0131mla ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m pembe battaniyeyi y\u0131llarca saklam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. K\u0131z\u0131m\u0131 topra\u011fa verdi\u011fimi sand\u0131\u011f\u0131m halde atmaya k\u0131yamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.\n\n\u201cBen o bebe\u011fe bakmak i\u00e7in her \u015feye haz\u0131rd\u0131m,\u201d dedim. \u201cPara bulurdum, okulumu ertelerdim. A\u00e7 kal\u0131rd\u0131m belki. Ama onun annesi olmak i\u00e7in m\u00fccadele ederdim. Siz bana m\u00fccadele etme hakk\u0131 bile tan\u0131mad\u0131n\u0131z.\u201d\n\nHatice ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131rd\u0131.\n\n\u201cBunu bilseydin \u00e7ocu\u011fu geri isterdin.\u201d\n\n\u201c\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc benim \u00e7ocu\u011fumdu!\u201d\n\n\u0130rem birden masaya vurdu.\n\n\u201cYeter! Ben bir e\u015fya de\u011filim. Kimse beni birinden al\u0131p di\u011ferine veremez!\u201d\n\nOdada derin bir sessizlik oldu.\n\nSonra gen\u00e7 kad\u0131n \u00fcst kata \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. Birka\u00e7 dakika sonra elinde k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir teneke kutuyla d\u00f6nd\u00fc.\n\n\u201cAnnem \u00f6lmeden \u00f6nce bunu verdi,\u201d dedi. \u201cYirminci ya\u015f g\u00fcn\u00fcmde a\u00e7mam\u0131 istedi. Bug\u00fcn sabah cesaret edemedim.\u201d\n\nKutunun i\u00e7inde bir hastane bilekli\u011fi, bir bebek foto\u011fraf\u0131 ve m\u00fch\u00fcrl\u00fc bir zarf vard\u0131. \u0130rem bilekli\u011fi bana uzatt\u0131.\n\n\u00dczerinde benim ad\u0131m yaz\u0131yordu: Figen Yal\u00e7\u0131n.\n\nHemen alt\u0131nda ise \u015fu kelimeler vard\u0131: Figen Yal\u00e7\u0131n\u2019\u0131n k\u0131z\u0131.\n\n\u0130rem zarf\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131. Melda\u2019n\u0131n el yaz\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 hemen tan\u0131d\u0131m.\n\n\u201cCan\u0131m k\u0131z\u0131m,\u201d diye okumaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Sesi titriyordu. \u201cSeni do\u011furmad\u0131m ama seni her g\u00fcn b\u00fct\u00fcn kalbimle sevdim. Bana annenin seni istemedi\u011fini, hastanede b\u0131rak\u0131p gitti\u011fini s\u00f6ylediler. Buna inand\u0131m. Y\u0131llar sonra buldu\u011fum bir mektup, ger\u00e7e\u011fi \u00f6\u011frenmemi sa\u011flad\u0131.\u201d\n\n\u0130rem okumay\u0131 b\u0131rakt\u0131. G\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131 k\u00e2\u011f\u0131da damlad\u0131.\n\n\u201cBana yalan s\u00f6yleyenlerin yaln\u0131zca sana de\u011fil, Figen\u2019e de bir hayat borcu oldu\u011funu \u00f6\u011frendim. Onu arad\u0131m. Mektuplar\u0131m geri geldi. Hastal\u0131\u011f\u0131m a\u011f\u0131rla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131nda sana her \u015feyi anlatacak cesareti bulamad\u0131m. Bunun i\u00e7in ikinizden de \u00f6z\u00fcr diliyorum. Beni annen olarak anman\u0131 isterim ama seni d\u00fcnyaya getiren kad\u0131n\u0131 tan\u0131mana engel olmak istemem.\u201d\n\nZarf\u0131n i\u00e7inden ikinci bir k\u00e2\u011f\u0131t \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. \u00dczerinde y\u0131llar \u00f6nce kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u00f6\u011frenci yurdunun adresi yaz\u0131l\u0131yd\u0131. Melda bana mektuplar g\u00f6ndermi\u015fti. Oysa ben o yurttan iki y\u0131l sonra ayr\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.\n\n\u201cBana neden ula\u015famad\u0131?\u201d dedim.\n\nK\u00e2\u011f\u0131tlar\u0131n aras\u0131nda bir foto\u011fraf daha vard\u0131. Melda, be\u015f ya\u015flar\u0131nda bir \u0130rem\u2019i kuca\u011f\u0131na alm\u0131\u015f, g\u00fcl\u00fcyordu. Foto\u011fraf\u0131n arkas\u0131na \u015fu c\u00fcmleyi yazm\u0131\u015ft\u0131: \u201cBir g\u00fcn seni seven iki kad\u0131n\u0131n da ger\u00e7e\u011fi bilmesini istiyorum.\u201d\n\n\u0130rem foto\u011frafa uzun uzun bakt\u0131.\n\n\u201cAnnem son g\u00fcnlerinde s\u00fcrekli benden \u00f6z\u00fcr dilerdi. Nedenini anlayamazd\u0131m. Ona k\u00f6t\u00fc bir \u015fey yapmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 s\u00f6ylerdim. Me\u011fer o, benim yerime senin ac\u0131n\u0131 da ta\u015f\u0131yormu\u015f.\u201d\n\n\u201cMelda seni sevmi\u015f,\u201d dedim. \u201cOnun sana annelik etmi\u015f olmas\u0131 benim anneli\u011fimi yok etmez. Bizi birbirimize d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrmelerine izin vermeyece\u011fim.\u201d\n\nHatice h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131rarak konu\u015ftu.\n\n\u201cAdresini biliyorduk. Melda\u2019ya vermedik. \u0130rem\u2019i kaybetmekten korktuk.\u201d\n\n\u0130rem mektubu g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcne bast\u0131rd\u0131.\n\n\u201cPeki bana s\u00f6yledi\u011finiz ba\u015fka hangi \u015feyler yalan?\u201d\n\nBabam sessiz kald\u0131. Sonunda cebinden anahtarlar\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131p masaya att\u0131.\n\n\u201cMelda\u2019ya ne g\u00f6sterdiniz?\u201d diye sordum. \u201cBeni bebe\u011fimi b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131ma nas\u0131l inand\u0131rd\u0131n\u0131z?\u201d\n\nHatice bir anda Erol\u2019a d\u00f6nd\u00fc.\n\n\u201cBen imzan\u0131 taklit etmeyece\u011fini sanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m,\u201d dedi.\n\nBabam\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fc kas\u0131ld\u0131. Sessizlik, cevaptan daha a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131.\n\n\u201cDemek imzam\u0131 da kulland\u0131n\u0131z,\u201d dedim. \u201cBen hastanede aya\u011fa kalkamazken\u2026\u201d\n\n\u201c\u00c7ocu\u011fun gelece\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm,\u201d diye ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131 Erol. \u201cOlan oldu. Ge\u00e7mi\u015fi de\u011fi\u015ftiremezsiniz.\u201d\n\n\u201cHay\u0131r,\u201d dedim. \u201cAma bug\u00fcn\u00fc de\u011fi\u015ftirebiliriz.\u201d\n\nTelefonumu \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131p hastane kay\u0131tlar\u0131na ba\u015fvuraca\u011f\u0131m\u0131, evraklar\u0131 inceletece\u011fimi s\u00f6yledim. Babam ilk kez tedirgin oldu.\n\n\u201cBizi \u015fik\u00e2yet mi edeceksin?\u201d\n\n\u201cGerekirse evet. Yirmi y\u0131l \u00f6nce benden al\u0131nan hakk\u0131n hesab\u0131n\u0131 sormak, intikam almak de\u011fildir.\u201d\n\n\u0130rem g\u00f6zlerimin i\u00e7ine bakt\u0131.\n\n\u201cSen ger\u00e7ekten benim annem olabilir misin?\u201d\n\nBo\u011faz\u0131m d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmlendi.\n\n\u201cBunu bir testle kan\u0131tlayabiliriz. Ama sana inanman i\u00e7in bask\u0131 yapmayaca\u011f\u0131m.\u201d\n\nO g\u00fcn birlikte evden \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131k. Birbirimizin ellerini tutmad\u0131k. \u0130kimiz de yabanc\u0131yd\u0131k; ayn\u0131 yalan y\u00fcz\u00fcnden hayatlar\u0131ndan y\u0131llar \u00e7al\u0131nm\u0131\u015f iki yabanc\u0131.\n\n\u0130ki hafta sonra gelen DNA sonucu, aram\u0131zdaki biyolojik ba\u011f\u0131 do\u011frulad\u0131. Eski hastane kay\u0131tlar\u0131 da \u0130rem\u2019in sevk edildi\u011fi servisten sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 taburcu edildi\u011fini g\u00f6steriyordu. Annemle babam\u0131n s\u00f6ylediklerinin aksine \u00f6l\u00fcm kayd\u0131 hi\u00e7 tutulmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\nDosyalar\u0131 bir avukata verdim. \u0130rem de ifadesini kendi iste\u011fiyle vermeye karar verdi. Resm\u00ee i\u015flemler s\u00fcrerken ailemden uzak durduk. Melda\u2019n\u0131n nas\u0131l kand\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yorduk; onun sevgisini yalanlar\u0131n g\u00f6lgesinde b\u0131rakmak istemiyorduk.\n\n\u0130rem bir ak\u015fam beni aray\u0131p, \u201cDede b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131 bizim iyili\u011fimiz i\u00e7in yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yl\u00fcyor,\u201d dedi. \u201cAma ben o evde kendimi ilk kez g\u00fcvende hissetmiyorum.\u201d\n\n\u201cO zaman g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmemiz i\u00e7in o eve gitmek zorunda de\u011filiz,\u201d dedim. \u201cKimse seni taraf se\u00e7meye zorlayamaz.\u201d\n\nTelefonun \u00f6b\u00fcr ucunda uzun s\u00fcre sessiz kald\u0131.\n\n\u201cBunu duymaya ihtiyac\u0131m vard\u0131,\u201d dedi sonunda.\n\n\u0130lk kez bir kafede ba\u015f ba\u015fa oturdu\u011fumuzda \u0130rem kahvesine iki \u015feker att\u0131. Ben de ayn\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 yapt\u0131m. \u0130kimiz birden g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedik.\n\n\u201cBana annem demek zorunda de\u011filsin,\u201d dedim.\n\n\u201cBiliyorum,\u201d diye cevap verdi. \u201cMelda annemdi. Onu \u00e7ok \u00f6zl\u00fcyorum. Ama sen de benim hayat\u0131mda olabilirsin, de\u011fil mi?\u201d\n\n\u201c\u0130stedi\u011fin kadar. \u0130stedi\u011fin h\u0131zda.\u201d\n\nO g\u00fcn anlad\u0131m ki \u0130rem&#8217;e kavu\u015fmak, kaybetti\u011fim yirmi y\u0131l\u0131 unutmak anlam\u0131na gelmiyordu. Ac\u0131y\u0131 kabul ederek ilerlemeyi \u00f6\u011freniyorduk.\n\nBir pazar g\u00fcn\u00fc Melda\u2019n\u0131n mezar\u0131n\u0131 ziyaret ettik. \u00c7i\u00e7ekleri birlikte b\u0131rakt\u0131k. Ablam\u0131n beni bulmak i\u00e7in g\u00f6sterdi\u011fi \u00e7abay\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. Ke\u015fke onunla bir kez konu\u015fabilseydim.\n\nD\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fte ya\u011fmur ba\u015flad\u0131. \u0130rem \u015femsiyesini a\u00e7\u0131p yan\u0131ma sokuldu.\n\n\u201c\u00c7ocukken ya\u011fmurdan korkard\u0131m,\u201d dedi. \u201cAnnem bana her f\u0131rt\u0131nan\u0131n ge\u00e7ece\u011fini s\u00f6ylerdi.\u201d\n\nYirmi y\u0131l \u00f6nce ayn\u0131 ya\u011fmurun alt\u0131nda, s\u0131rt \u00e7antamla tek ba\u015f\u0131ma durdu\u011fum geceyi hat\u0131rlad\u0131m. O zaman ailemin bir kap\u0131dan ibaret oldu\u011funu sanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Kap\u0131 kapan\u0131nca her \u015feyin bitti\u011fine inanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.\n\n\u015eimdi yan\u0131mda y\u00fcr\u00fcyen gen\u00e7 kad\u0131na bakt\u0131m.\n\n\u201cMelda hakl\u0131ym\u0131\u015f,\u201d dedim. \u201cBaz\u0131 f\u0131rt\u0131nalar \u00e7ok uzun s\u00fcr\u00fcyor. Ama sonunda ge\u00e7iyor.\u201d\n\n\u0130rem koluma girdi. Bu kez \u00e7ekinmedim.\n\nYirmi y\u0131l boyunca k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcne inanarak ya\u015fam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Ge\u00e7en zaman\u0131 geri alamazd\u0131k. Melda\u2019n\u0131n yerini dolduramaz, b\u00fct\u00fcn yaralar\u0131 bir g\u00fcnde iyile\u015ftiremezdik.\n\nAma o g\u00fcn \u015funu anlad\u0131m: Aile, ger\u00e7e\u011fi saklayarak de\u011fil, en zor ger\u00e7e\u011fin kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda bile birbirinin elini b\u0131rakmayarak kurulur.\n\nVe ben, yirmi y\u0131l \u00f6nce kaybetti\u011fim sand\u0131\u011f\u0131m k\u0131z\u0131ma sonunda y\u00fcr\u00fcyebilece\u011fi a\u00e7\u0131k bir kap\u0131 b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.\n\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl>\n\t\t\t<br style='clear: both' \/>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1726,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1725","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-foto-galeri"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1725","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1725"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1725\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1728,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1725\/revisions\/1728"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1726"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1725"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1725"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1725"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}