{"id":1998,"date":"2026-10-23T23:03:18","date_gmt":"2026-10-23T23:03:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/?p=1998"},"modified":"2026-10-23T23:03:18","modified_gmt":"2026-10-23T23:03:18","slug":"kocam-en-yakin-arkadasimla-bir-haftaligina-es-degistirmeyi-onerdi-telefonuna-gelen-mesaj-her-seyi-degistirdi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/kocam-en-yakin-arkadasimla-bir-haftaligina-es-degistirmeyi-onerdi-telefonuna-gelen-mesaj-her-seyi-degistirdi\/","title":{"rendered":"Kocam En Yak\u0131n Arkada\u015f\u0131mla Bir Haftal\u0131\u011f\u0131na E\u015f De\u011fi\u015ftirmeyi \u00d6nerdi, Telefonuna Gelen Mesaj Her \u015eeyi De\u011fi\u015ftirdi"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t\t<style>\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 {\n\t\t\t\tmargin: auto;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-item {\n\t\t\t\tfloat: left;\n\t\t\t\tmargin-top: 10px;\n\t\t\t\ttext-align: center;\n\t\t\t\twidth: 33%;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 img {\n\t\t\t\tborder: 2px solid #cfcfcf;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-caption {\n\t\t\t\tmargin-left: 0;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t\/* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes\/media.php *\/\n\t\t<\/style>\n\t\t<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-1998 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/kocam-en-yakin-arkadasimla-bir-haftaligina-es-degistirmeyi-onerdi-telefonuna-gelen-mesaj-her-seyi-degistirdi\/gfgt-5\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/gfgt-4-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-1999\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-1999'>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cFerah ger\u00e7ekten inand\u0131 m\u0131? Bu geceki anla\u015fmadan sonra pastane i\u00e7in ay\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131 paraya ne olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenirse bizi asla affetmez.\u201d\n\nMesaj\u0131 iki kez okudum. \u00d6nce g\u00f6zlerimin beni yan\u0131ltt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sand\u0131m. Sonra mutfak tezg\u00e2h\u0131na tutunmak zorunda kald\u0131m.\n\nPastane i\u00e7in biriktirdi\u011fim para m\u0131?\n\nYekta&#8217;yla \u015eebnem&#8217;in yak\u0131nla\u015fm\u0131\u015f olabilece\u011finden \u015f\u00fcpheleniyordum. Ama hayalimi neden konu\u015fuyorlard\u0131?\n\nTelefonun ekran\u0131 s\u00f6nd\u00fc. Ona dokunmad\u0131m. Yukar\u0131dan Yekta&#8217;n\u0131n ayak sesleri gelince y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc lavaboya \u00e7evirdim. Ellerim titriyordu.\n\n\u201cHer \u015fey yolunda m\u0131?\u201d diye sordu.\n\n\u201cBiraz ba\u015f\u0131m a\u011fr\u0131yor.\u201d\n\n\u201cAk\u015fama ge\u00e7er. De\u011fi\u015fiklik bize iyi gelecek.\u201d\n\n\u0130\u00e7imden, onun bu c\u00fcmleyi s\u00f6ylerken nas\u0131l h\u00e2l\u00e2 g\u00fcl\u00fcmseyebildi\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm.\n\nOdadan \u00e7\u0131kar \u00e7\u0131kmaz kendi telefonumu ald\u0131m ve bankac\u0131l\u0131k uygulamas\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131m. Alt\u0131 y\u0131ld\u0131r biriktirdi\u011fim para, yaln\u0131zca benim ad\u0131ma a\u00e7\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir hesaptayd\u0131. Bakiyeyi kontrol ettim. Para yerindeydi.\n\nRahatlamad\u0131m. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u015eebnem&#8217;in mesaj\u0131ndaki s\u00f6zler ger\u00e7ekle\u015fmi\u015f bir kay\u0131ptan de\u011fil, haz\u0131rlanm\u0131\u015f bir plandan bahsediyordu.\n\nSe\u00e7il&#8217;i arad\u0131m.\n\n\u201cBu ak\u015fam d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fczden daha ciddi bir konu\u015fma yapaca\u011f\u0131z,\u201d dedim.\n\nNe g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fc anlatt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda uzun s\u00fcre konu\u015fmad\u0131.\n\n\u201cFerah, senin birikiminden haberleri nas\u0131l var?\u201d diye sordu.\n\n\u201cYekta biliyordu. Hesaptaki paran\u0131n miktar\u0131n\u0131 ve ne i\u00e7in biriktirdi\u011fimi biliyordu.\u201d\n\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/kocam-en-yakin-arkadasimla-bir-haftaligina-es-degistirmeyi-onerdi-telefonuna-gelen-mesaj-her-seyi-degistirdi\/bgv-3\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/bgv-1-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-2000\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-2000'>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cPeki ona bu paray\u0131 kullanmas\u0131 i\u00e7in izin verdin mi?\u201d\n\n\u201cAsla.\u201d\n\nSe\u00e7il derin bir nefes ald\u0131.\n\n\u201c\u00d6yleyse \u00f6nce sakin ol. Bu ak\u015fam kimseyi kamerayla tuza\u011fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrmeyece\u011fiz. Konu\u015fmak isteyen konu\u015facak. Kayda a\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7a onay vermeyen kimseyi \u00e7ekmeyece\u011fim. Ama sen onlara sorular\u0131n\u0131 soracaks\u0131n.\u201d\n\nArd\u0131ndan G\u00fcray&#8217;\u0131 arad\u0131m. \u015eebnem&#8217;in mesaj\u0131ndan bahsetti\u011fimde sesi de\u011fi\u015fti.\n\n\u201cPastane mi dedin?\u201d\n\n\u201cEvet. Neden?\u201d\n\n\u201c\u015eebnem son zamanlarda Yekta&#8217;yla ortak bir i\u015fletme a\u00e7maktan s\u00f6z ediyordu. Bir kafe fikri oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yledi. Ben i\u015fin yaln\u0131zca dost\u00e7a bir yat\u0131r\u0131m konu\u015fmas\u0131 oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm.\u201d\n\n\u201cBana neden s\u00f6ylemedin?\u201d\n\n\u201c\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc onlar\u0131n ger\u00e7ekten bir \u015fey yapmaya haz\u0131rland\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmiyordum.\u201d\n\nTelefonun \u00f6b\u00fcr ucunda sandalye \u00e7ekildi\u011fini duydum.\n\n\u201cFerah, ben de baz\u0131 \u015feyleri \u00f6\u011frenmek istiyorum.\u201d\n\nAk\u015fam saat yedide Se\u00e7il ve \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma arkada\u015f\u0131 evimize geldi. Kamera \u00e7antas\u0131n\u0131 salondaki sehpan\u0131n yan\u0131na koydular. Yekta merdivenden inerken onlar\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnce duraksad\u0131.\n\n\u201cBunlar neden burada?\u201d diye sordu.\n\n\u201cB\u00fct\u00fcn bu deney hakk\u0131nda konu\u015faca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm,\u201d dedim. \u201c\u0130steyen olursa, a\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7a izin vererek konu\u015fmay\u0131 kaydedebiliriz.\u201d\n\nYekta&#8217;n\u0131n ka\u015flar\u0131 \u00e7at\u0131ld\u0131.\n\n\u201cFerah, sa\u00e7malama.\u201d\n\n\u201cBen yaln\u0131zca bu fikrin arkas\u0131nda durup durmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rmek istiyorum.\u201d\n\nKap\u0131 zili \u00e7ald\u0131. \u015eebnem ve G\u00fcray gelmi\u015fti.\n\n\u015eebnem i\u00e7eri girer girmez kameray\u0131 fark etti.\n\n\u201cBu ne \u015fimdi?\u201d\n\n\u201cHen\u00fcz kay\u0131t yap\u0131lm\u0131yor,\u201d dedi Se\u00e7il. \u201cKimsenin r\u0131zas\u0131 olmadan da yap\u0131lmayacak.\u201d\n\n\u015eebnem ellerini g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcnde birle\u015ftirdi.\n\n\u201cBen kameraya konu\u015fmak istemiyorum.\u201d\n\n\u201cPeki,\u201d dedim. \u201cO zaman kamera kapal\u0131 kalacak.\u201d\n\nSe\u00e7il ekipman\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131r\u0131p salonun kenar\u0131na ge\u00e7ti. Onlar\u0131n huzursuzlu\u011funu g\u00f6rmek ba\u015flang\u0131\u00e7ta plan\u0131m\u0131n amac\u0131na ula\u015fm\u0131\u015f oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcrd\u00fc. Fakat art\u0131k as\u0131l meselem utan\u00e7 de\u011fildi.\n\nMasaya oturduk.\n\n\u201cBa\u015flamadan \u00f6nce birka\u00e7 sorum var,\u201d dedim.\n\nYekta g\u00f6zlerini devirdi.\n\n\u201cYine mi?\u201d\n\n\u201cBu \u00f6neriyi ilk kim ortaya att\u0131?\u201d\n\n\u015eebnem kocas\u0131na bakt\u0131. G\u00fcray&#8217;\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fc ta\u015f gibiydi.\n\nYekta cevap verdi.\n\n\u201cBen s\u00f6yledim.\u201d\n\n\u201cPeki bunu \u015eebnem&#8217;le ne zamand\u0131r konu\u015fuyorsun?\u201d\n\n\u0130kisi de sustu.\n\n\u201cBir ayd\u0131r m\u0131? \u0130ki ayd\u0131r m\u0131?\u201d\n\n\u015eebnem sonunda konu\u015ftu.\n\n\u201cYakla\u015f\u0131k d\u00f6rt ay.\u201d\n\nG\u00fcray ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131rd\u0131.\n\n\u201cD\u00f6rt ay m\u0131?\u201d\n\nO an onun da en az benim kadar aldat\u0131lm\u0131\u015f hissetti\u011fini g\u00f6rd\u00fcm.\n\n\u015eebnem aceleyle a\u00e7\u0131klamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\n\u201cBa\u015flang\u0131\u00e7ta sadece \u015fakala\u015f\u0131yorduk.\u201d\n\n\u201cD\u00f6rt ay boyunca m\u0131?\u201d diye sordum.\n\nYekta masaya vurdu.\n\n\u201cBunun sorguya d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fmesine izin vermeyece\u011fim.\u201d\n\n\u201cHen\u00fcz as\u0131l soruma gelmedim.\u201d\n\nTelefonuna gelen mesaj\u0131n s\u00f6zlerini aynen tekrarlad\u0131m.\n\nYekta&#8217;n\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcndeki renk \u00e7ekildi. \u015eebnem dudaklar\u0131n\u0131 aralad\u0131 ama konu\u015famad\u0131.\n\n\u201cPastane paramla ilgili ne planl\u0131yordunuz?\u201d\n\nYekta hemen kar\u015f\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131.\n\n\u201cSen benim telefonumu mu kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131n?\u201d\n\n\u201cHay\u0131r. Ekran\u0131n tezg\u00e2hta kendili\u011finden ayd\u0131nland\u0131. \u015eimdi soruma cevap ver.\u201d\n\nG\u00fcray e\u015fine d\u00f6nd\u00fc.\n\n\u201c\u015eebnem, ne paras\u0131?\u201d\n\nBir anda d\u00f6rt ki\u015finin y\u0131llard\u0131r birbirine s\u00f6yledikleri her \u015fey o masan\u0131n \u00fczerine d\u00f6k\u00fclmeye ba\u015flad\u0131.\n\nYekta sonunda konu\u015ftu.\n\n\u015eehir merkezinde bo\u015falan bir kafe d\u00fckk\u00e2n\u0131 bulmu\u015flard\u0131. \u015eebnem i\u015fletmeyi y\u00f6netmek, Yekta da yat\u0131r\u0131m\u0131 \u00fcstlenmek istiyordu. Ancak ikisinin de ba\u015flang\u0131\u00e7 i\u00e7in yeterli birikimi yoktu.\n\nBenim pastane hesab\u0131mdaki para ise haz\u0131rlad\u0131klar\u0131 b\u00fct\u00e7eye neredeyse tam uyuyordu.\n\n\u201cSen o paray\u0131 y\u0131llard\u0131r kullanm\u0131yorsun,\u201d dedi Yekta. \u201cBirlikte de\u011ferlendirebiliriz diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm.\u201d\n\n\u201cBen o paray\u0131 kullanm\u0131yor de\u011filim, Yekta. Pastanem i\u00e7in biriktiriyorum.\u201d\n\n\u201cZaten kafe a\u00e7acakt\u0131k. Sen de i\u015fin i\u00e7inde olabilirdin.\u201d\n\n\u015eebnem araya girdi.\n\n\u201cSen tatl\u0131lar\u0131 yapard\u0131n. Ben m\u00fc\u015fteri ili\u015fkilerini y\u00fcr\u00fct\u00fcrd\u00fcm.\u201d\n\nG\u00fcld\u00fcm. Ac\u0131 bir g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc.\n\n\u201cYani benim param, benim tariflerim, benim eme\u011fim. Ama i\u015fletmeyi siz y\u00f6netecektiniz.\u201d\n\n\u0130kisi de cevap vermedi.\n\nG\u00fcray ellerini masaya koydu.\n\n\u201cPeki e\u015f de\u011fi\u015ftirme meselesinin bununla ne ilgisi var?\u201d\n\n\u015eebnem g\u00f6zlerini indirdi.\n\nYekta cevap vermeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\n\u201cBiraz birbirimizden uzakla\u015fmak iyi olur diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fck. Ferah&#8217;la sonra daha rahat konu\u015fabilirdim.\u201d\n\nArt\u0131k her \u015fey a\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7a g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyordu. Bir haftal\u0131k ayr\u0131l\u0131k s\u0131ras\u0131nda Yekta&#8217;yla \u015eebnem birbirlerine yak\u0131nla\u015fmay\u0131, ard\u0131ndan da beni ortak yat\u0131r\u0131m fikrine raz\u0131 etmeyi umuyorlard\u0131. \u015eebnem&#8217;in s\u00f6yledi\u011fine g\u00f6re d\u00fckk\u00e2n sahibiyle \u00f6n g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fme bile yapm\u0131\u015flard\u0131.\n\nYekta benim birikimimi iznim olmadan \u00e7ekmemi\u015fti. Ama paray\u0131 kullanmay\u0131 planlamakla yetinmemi\u015f, benim ad\u0131ma konu\u015fmaya da ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\n\u201cBenim kabul etti\u011fimi mi s\u00f6ylediniz?\u201d diye sordum.\n\n\u015eebnem ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sallad\u0131.\n\n\u201cHen\u00fcz kesinle\u015fmedi\u011fini s\u00f6yledik.\u201d\n\n\u201cDemek ki hayat\u0131m\u0131 benden \u00f6nce siz planlad\u0131n\u0131z.\u201d\n\nO s\u0131rada G\u00fcray aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131.\n\n\u201cBen bu oyunda yokum.\u201d\n\n\u015eebnem ona uzand\u0131.\n\n\u201cG\u00fcray, l\u00fctfen.\u201d\n\n\u201cSen bana herkesin istedi\u011fini s\u00f6yledin. Ben istemedi\u011fimi defalarca anlatt\u0131m. Ferah&#8217;\u0131n da ger\u00e7ekten kabul etti\u011fine inand\u0131rd\u0131n beni.\u201d\n\n\u015eebnem&#8217;in g\u00f6zleri doldu.\n\n\u201cEvlili\u011fimizde mutsuzdum.\u201d\n\nG\u00fcray ac\u0131yla g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi.\n\n\u201cO zaman benimle konu\u015fmal\u0131yd\u0131n. En yak\u0131n arkada\u015f\u0131n\u0131n kocas\u0131yla de\u011fil.\u201d\n\nSe\u00e7il sessizce yan\u0131ma geldi. Sadece bir bardak su b\u0131rakt\u0131. Kamera b\u00fct\u00fcn ak\u015fam kapal\u0131 kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Buna ra\u011fmen herkesin ger\u00e7ek niyeti, kendi a\u011fz\u0131ndan ortaya \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\nYekta elime uzanmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\n\u201cFerah, biz yaln\u0131zca farkl\u0131 bir hayat hayal ettik.\u201d\n\nElimi \u00e7ektim.\n\n\u201cBenim hayat\u0131m\u0131 elimden alarak m\u0131?\u201d\n\nO gece e\u015f de\u011fi\u015ftirme ger\u00e7ekle\u015fmedi. G\u00fcray tek ba\u015f\u0131na ayr\u0131ld\u0131. \u015eebnem kap\u0131da birka\u00e7 kez benimle konu\u015fmak istedi ama haz\u0131r olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 s\u00f6yledim.\n\nYekta ise salonda kal\u0131p her \u015feyi d\u00fczeltebilece\u011fimizi anlatmaya devam etti.\n\n\u201cBeni affedebilirsin,\u201d dedi.\n\n\u201cBelki bir g\u00fcn,\u201d diye cevap verdim. \u201cAma bu evlili\u011fi ayn\u0131 \u015fekilde s\u00fcrd\u00fcrebilece\u011fim anlam\u0131na gelmez.\u201d\n\nErtesi sabah bir s\u00fcre ayr\u0131 ya\u015famam\u0131z gerekti\u011fini s\u00f6yledim. \u00d6nce kar\u015f\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. Ard\u0131ndan karar\u0131m\u0131n kesin oldu\u011funu anlay\u0131nca birka\u00e7 par\u00e7a e\u015fyas\u0131n\u0131 al\u0131p ayr\u0131ld\u0131.\n\nSonraki haftalar kolay ge\u00e7medi. Bazen mutfakta iki fincan \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131yor, sonra birini yerine koyuyordum. On yedi y\u0131ll\u0131k bir al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131k bir g\u00fcnde kaybolmuyordu.\n\nBir aile hukuku uzman\u0131ndan durumumla ilgili bilgi ald\u0131m. Mali belgelerimi d\u00fczenledim, birikim hesab\u0131m\u0131 kontrol ettim. Yekta&#8217;yla aram\u0131zdaki ortak y\u00fck\u00fcml\u00fcl\u00fckleri sakin ve a\u00e7\u0131k bi\u00e7imde de\u011ferlendirdik.\n\n\u015eebnem birka\u00e7 kez arad\u0131. \u0130lk mesajlar\u0131nda kendini savunuyordu. Sonunda uzun bir \u00f6z\u00fcr mektubu g\u00f6nderdi. Yekta&#8217;ya ilgi duydu\u011funu, evlili\u011findeki sorunlardan ka\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ve pastane fikrimi kendi ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131na d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcrmeye kalkt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kabul ediyordu.\n\nMektubu okudum. Sonra bir \u00e7ekmeceye kald\u0131rd\u0131m.\n\nOnu affetmeye zorunlu de\u011fildim.\n\nG\u00fcray da \u015eebnem&#8217;den ayr\u0131lmaya karar vermi\u015fti. Bir g\u00fcn kahve i\u00e7mek i\u00e7in bulu\u015ftuk. \u0130kimiz de ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131zdan dolay\u0131 \u00fczg\u00fcnd\u00fck ama birbirimizle yeni bir ili\u015fki kurmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmad\u0131k. Aldat\u0131lm\u0131\u015f olman\u0131n ortakl\u0131\u011f\u0131, tek ba\u015f\u0131na sevgi anlam\u0131na gelmiyordu.\n\nSe\u00e7il ise beni her zamanki gibi do\u011frudan konu\u015farak aya\u011fa kald\u0131rd\u0131.\n\n\u201cPastane i\u00e7in alt\u0131 y\u0131ld\u0131r haz\u0131rlan\u0131yorsun,\u201d dedi. \u201cBa\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 y\u00fcz\u00fcnden kendi hayalini neden erteleyeceksin?\u201d\n\nHakl\u0131yd\u0131.\n\nBir hafta sonra Ana Cadde&#8217;deki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir d\u00fckk\u00e2n\u0131 g\u00f6rmeye gittim. Vitrini eskimi\u015fti, duvarlar\u0131 boyanmal\u0131yd\u0131 ve mutfa\u011f\u0131n d\u00fczenlenmesi gerekiyordu. Ama sabah g\u00fcne\u015fini do\u011frudan alan kocaman bir penceresi vard\u0131.\n\n\u0130\u00e7eri girer girmez y\u0131llard\u0131r hayal etti\u011fim tar\u00e7\u0131n kokusunu neredeyse hissedebiliyordum.\n\n\u0130\u015fletme giderlerini yeniden hesaplad\u0131m. Uzmanlardan gerekli bilgileri ald\u0131m. Birikimimin tamam\u0131n\u0131 riske atmamak i\u00e7in ba\u015flang\u0131\u00e7 plan\u0131m\u0131 k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcltt\u00fcm. \u00d6nce sipari\u015f usul\u00fc \u00fcretime ba\u015flad\u0131m, ard\u0131ndan d\u00fckk\u00e2n\u0131n a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131\u015f\u0131 i\u00e7in haz\u0131rl\u0131k yapt\u0131m.\n\n\u00dc\u00e7 ay sonra kap\u0131ya tabelam\u0131 ast\u0131m.\n\nFerah&#8217;\u0131n F\u0131r\u0131n\u0131.\n\nA\u00e7\u0131l\u0131\u015f sabah\u0131 ilk gelen Se\u00e7il oldu. Elinde \u00e7i\u00e7ekler vard\u0131.\n\n\u201cPastane sahibesi han\u0131m, bir kahve alabilir miyim?\u201d diye sordu.\n\nG\u00fclerek ona sar\u0131ld\u0131m.\n\n\u00d6\u011fleden sonra G\u00fcray u\u011fray\u0131p bir kutu kurabiye sat\u0131n ald\u0131. Kendisinin de yeni bir eve ta\u015f\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, yava\u015f yava\u015f hayat\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fczene koydu\u011funu anlatt\u0131.\n\nYekta ise ak\u015fam\u00fcst\u00fc geldi.\n\nKap\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde uzun s\u00fcre durduktan sonra i\u00e7eri girdi. Tezg\u00e2htaki keklere, penceredeki \u00e7i\u00e7eklere, duvardaki eski tarif defterime bakt\u0131.\n\n\u201cGer\u00e7ekten ba\u015fard\u0131n,\u201d dedi.\n\n\u201cEvet.\u201d\n\n\u201cBunun senin i\u00e7in bu kadar \u00f6nemli oldu\u011funu bilmiyordum.\u201d\n\nG\u00f6zlerinin i\u00e7ine bakt\u0131m.\n\n\u201cBiliyordun, Yekta. Sadece kendi istediklerinin daha \u00f6nemli oldu\u011funa karar vermi\u015ftin.\u201d\n\nBa\u015f\u0131n\u0131 e\u011fdi.\n\n\u201cKe\u015fke her \u015feyi geri alabilsem.\u201d\n\n\u201cBen de ke\u015fke baz\u0131 \u015feyler hi\u00e7 ya\u015fanmasayd\u0131. Ama geri alamay\u0131z.\u201d\n\nBir s\u00fcre sessiz kald\u0131k. Sonra bir dilim limonlu kek sat\u0131n ald\u0131 ve kap\u0131ya y\u00f6neldi.\n\nOna k\u0131zg\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131m tamamen bitmemi\u015fti. Yine de art\u0131k hayat\u0131m\u0131n merkezinde onun verece\u011fi kararlar yoktu.\n\nAk\u015fam d\u00fckk\u00e2n\u0131 kapat\u0131rken tezg\u00e2h\u0131n arkas\u0131ndaki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck panoya bakt\u0131m. Oraya alt\u0131 y\u0131l \u00f6nce kendi el yaz\u0131mla bir c\u00fcmle yazm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m:\n\n\u201cBir g\u00fcn buras\u0131 benim olacak.\u201d\n\nO gece \u0131\u015f\u0131klar\u0131 s\u00f6nd\u00fcrmeden \u00f6nce c\u00fcmlenin alt\u0131na yenisini ekledim:\n\n\u201cVe o g\u00fcn geldi\u011finde kendimi de bulmu\u015f olaca\u011f\u0131m.\u201d\n\nYekta bana evlili\u011fimizin heyecan\u0131n\u0131 kaybetti\u011fini s\u00f6ylemi\u015fti. Oysa kaybetti\u011fimiz \u015fey heyecan de\u011fildi. Birbirimize duydu\u011fumuz sayg\u0131yd\u0131.\n\nBen bir hafta boyunca ba\u015fka birinin hayat\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015famay\u0131 kabul etmi\u015f gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm. Ama sonunda on yedi y\u0131ld\u0131r erteledi\u011fim kendi hayat\u0131m\u0131 ya\u015famaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.\n\nVe pastanemin kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 her sabah kendi anahtar\u0131mla a\u00e7arken, hayat\u0131mda ilk kez bir ba\u015fkas\u0131n\u0131n beni se\u00e7mesini beklemiyordum.\n\n\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc sonunda kendimi se\u00e7mi\u015ftim.\n\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl>\n\t\t\t<br style='clear: both' \/>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1999,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1998","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-foto-galeri"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1998","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1998"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1998\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2001,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1998\/revisions\/2001"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1999"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1998"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1998"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1998"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}