{"id":2010,"date":"2026-10-23T23:08:31","date_gmt":"2026-10-23T23:08:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/?p=2010"},"modified":"2026-10-23T23:08:31","modified_gmt":"2026-10-23T23:08:31","slug":"kizim-benimle-gorusmek-istemedigini-soyledi-ev-ve-araba-odemelerini-kesince-butun-gercekler-ortaya-cikti","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/kizim-benimle-gorusmek-istemedigini-soyledi-ev-ve-araba-odemelerini-kesince-butun-gercekler-ortaya-cikti\/","title":{"rendered":"K\u0131z\u0131m Benimle G\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmek \u0130stemedi\u011fini S\u00f6yledi, Ev ve Araba \u00d6demelerini Kesince B\u00fct\u00fcn Ger\u00e7ekler Ortaya \u00c7\u0131kt\u0131"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t\t<style>\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 {\n\t\t\t\tmargin: auto;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-item {\n\t\t\t\tfloat: left;\n\t\t\t\tmargin-top: 10px;\n\t\t\t\ttext-align: center;\n\t\t\t\twidth: 33%;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 img {\n\t\t\t\tborder: 2px solid #cfcfcf;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-caption {\n\t\t\t\tmargin-left: 0;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t\/* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes\/media.php *\/\n\t\t<\/style>\n\t\t<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-2010 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/kizim-benimle-gorusmek-istemedigini-soyledi-ev-ve-araba-odemelerini-kesince-butun-gercekler-ortaya-cikti\/bff-12\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/bff-8-150x150.webp\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-2011\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-2011'>\n\t\t\t\tParmaklar\u0131m\u0131 y\u0131pranm\u0131\u015f metal kapa\u011f\u0131n \u00fczerinde gezdirdim. K\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 boyas\u0131 yer yer d\u00f6k\u00fclm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Fikret&#8217;in y\u0131llar \u00f6nce kendi elleriyle boyad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bu sand\u0131kta, hayat\u0131m\u0131z boyunca birlikte onard\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z \u015feylerin izleri vard\u0131.\n\nKapa\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131r\u0131nca d\u00fczg\u00fcnce s\u0131ralanm\u0131\u015f aletlerin aras\u0131nda k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir foto\u011fraf g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Fikret, hen\u00fcz sekiz ya\u015f\u0131ndaki G\u00fclce&#8217;yle bah\u00e7emizde yapt\u0131klar\u0131 ku\u015f yuvas\u0131n\u0131 tutuyordu. K\u0131z\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcnde kocaman bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmseme vard\u0131.\n\nFoto\u011fraf\u0131 elime ald\u0131\u011f\u0131mda i\u00e7im s\u0131zlad\u0131. G\u00fclce&#8217;ye k\u0131zg\u0131nd\u0131m ama onu sevmekten vazge\u00e7mi\u015f de\u011fildim. Asl\u0131nda ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m b\u00fct\u00fcn k\u0131rg\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131n en zor yan\u0131 buydu.\n\nTelefonum \u00e7ald\u0131. Ekranda G\u00fclce&#8217;nin ad\u0131 belirdi. A\u00e7mad\u0131m. Birka\u00e7 dakika sonra mesaj geldi.\n\n\u201cAnne, depo g\u00f6revlisi bizi arad\u0131. E\u015fyalar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 neden \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131yorsun? Bize dan\u0131\u015fmadan b\u00f6yle kararlar alamazs\u0131n.\u201d\n\nMesaj\u0131 dikkatle okudum. Ard\u0131ndan k\u0131sa bir cevap yazd\u0131m.\n\n\u201cDepodaki kendi e\u015fyalar\u0131m\u0131 ald\u0131m. Kiray\u0131 ay sonuna kadar \u00f6dedim. Sonras\u0131nda devam etmek isterseniz i\u015fletmeciyle g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015febilirsiniz. E\u015fyalar\u0131n\u0131za dokunmad\u0131m.\u201d\n\nBu kez cevap hemen geldi.\n\n\u201cD\u00f6rt y\u0131ld\u0131r sorun etmedi\u011fin \u015feyler \u015fimdi neden sorun oluyor?\u201d\n\nBir s\u00fcre d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm.\n\n\u201c\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc d\u00f6rt y\u0131ld\u0131r kendi ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131 ihmal etti\u011fimi yeni fark ediyorum.\u201d\n\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/kizim-benimle-gorusmek-istemedigini-soyledi-ev-ve-araba-odemelerini-kesince-butun-gercekler-ortaya-cikti\/bvvxs-6\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/bvvxs-2-150x150.webp\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-2012\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-2012'>\n\t\t\t\tMesaj\u0131 g\u00f6nderdikten sonra telefonu bir kenara b\u0131rakt\u0131m. Garajdaki tezg\u00e2ha oturup Fikret&#8217;in foto\u011fraf\u0131n\u0131 yeniden inceledim.\n\nKocam ya\u015fasayd\u0131 ne s\u00f6ylerdi, bilmiyordum. Hayat\u0131m\u0131z boyunca k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131za yard\u0131m etmi\u015ftik. Ama Fikret&#8217;in s\u0131k s\u0131k tekrarlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir s\u00f6z vard\u0131: Birine destek olmak, onun yerine b\u00fct\u00fcn y\u00fckleri sonsuza kadar ta\u015f\u0131mak de\u011fildir.\n\nO ak\u015fam mutfak masas\u0131nda hesap d\u00f6k\u00fcmlerini yeniden a\u00e7t\u0131m. Yaln\u0131zca ev ve araba i\u00e7in d\u00f6rt y\u0131lda yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m d\u00fczenli \u00f6demeler 79.200 dolard\u0131. Telefon, depo ve di\u011fer yard\u0131mlar buna dahil de\u011fildi.\n\nRakam\u0131 k\u00e2\u011f\u0131da yaz\u0131nca uzun s\u00fcre kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda oturdum.\n\nBu para bir servet de\u011fildi belki ama benim hayat\u0131m\u0131n \u00f6nemli bir b\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcyd\u00fc. Erteledi\u011fim tamiratlar, vazge\u00e7ti\u011fim k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck tatiller, doktora gitmek yerine beklemeyi se\u00e7ti\u011fim zamanlar&#8230;\n\nHepsinin kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 o sat\u0131rlarda duruyordu.\n\nErtesi g\u00fcn ilk i\u015f pencere tamircisini arad\u0131m. Ard\u0131ndan banyo muslu\u011funu de\u011fi\u015ftirmek i\u00e7in bir usta ayarlad\u0131m. Y\u0131llard\u0131r ilk kez kendi evimin ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n sorunlar\u0131ndan daha \u00f6ncelikli g\u00f6rd\u00fcm.\n\n\u00d6\u011fleden sonra Y\u00fcksel elinde ev yap\u0131m\u0131 kurabiyelerle geldi. Mutfa\u011fa ge\u00e7ip kahve i\u00e7tik. Ona hesap d\u00f6k\u00fcmlerini g\u00f6stermedim ama ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m k\u0131rg\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131 anlatt\u0131m.\n\n\u201cBiliyor musun,\u201d dedi, \u201cinsan bazen yard\u0131m etti\u011fi ki\u015filerin kendisini sevmesini bekledi\u011fi i\u00e7in de\u011fil, onlar\u0131 sevdi\u011fi i\u00e7in verir. Ama verdi\u011fi \u015fey art\u0131k kendi hayat\u0131n\u0131 eksiltiyorsa durmay\u0131 da bilmesi gerekir.\u201d\n\nBa\u015f\u0131m\u0131 sallad\u0131m.\n\n\u201cG\u00fclce&#8217;yi kaybetmek istemiyorum.\u201d\n\n\u201c\u00d6yleyse parayla ili\u015fkinizi birbirinden ay\u0131r. K\u0131z\u0131nla konu\u015fmak ba\u015fka, onun faturalar\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6demek ba\u015fka.\u201d\n\nO gece Y\u00fcksel&#8217;in s\u00f6zlerini uzun uzun d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm.\n\n\u00dc\u00e7 g\u00fcn sonra O\u011fuz&#8217;dan bir e-posta geldi. Konu b\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcne yaln\u0131zca \u201cMali sorumluluklar\u201d yazm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\nMesajda d\u00f6rt y\u0131ld\u0131r yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u00f6demeleri aile i\u00e7inde verilmi\u015f kal\u0131c\u0131 bir s\u00f6z olarak g\u00f6rd\u00fcklerini anlat\u0131yordu. Kredilerin benim yard\u0131m\u0131ma g\u00fcvenilerek planland\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, bu nedenle birdenbire \u00e7ekilmemin kendilerini zor duruma d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc s\u00f6yl\u00fcyordu.\n\nSonunda da \u00f6demeleri en az alt\u0131 ay daha s\u00fcrd\u00fcrmemi istiyordu.\n\nMesaj\u0131 okuyunca bankadaki g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmemi hat\u0131rlad\u0131m. Ara\u00e7 kredisinde ad\u0131m\u0131n bulundu\u011fu i\u00e7in otomatik transferi durdurmam, s\u00f6zle\u015fmeden do\u011fan sorumlulu\u011fumu kendili\u011finden bitirmiyordu. Bu nedenle hukuki ve mali durumumu netle\u015ftirmek i\u00e7in ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131z bir uzmana ba\u015fvurmu\u015ftum.\n\nUzman\u0131n belgeler \u00fczerinden yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 de\u011ferlendirme, d\u00f6rt y\u0131ll\u0131k g\u00f6n\u00fcll\u00fc desteklerimin gelecekteki b\u00fct\u00fcn masraflar\u0131 \u00f6demek zorunda oldu\u011fum anlam\u0131na gelmedi\u011fini ortaya koydu. Ancak ara\u00e7 kredisindeki imzam nedeniyle bankaya kar\u015f\u0131 y\u00fck\u00fcml\u00fcl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcn s\u00f6zle\u015fme de\u011fi\u015ftirilene kadar devam edebilece\u011fi a\u00e7\u0131kt\u0131.\n\nBu ayr\u0131m\u0131 bilmek \u00f6nemliydi. \u00d6fkelenmi\u015f olabilirdim ama kendimi yeni sorunlar\u0131n i\u00e7ine atmak istemiyordum.\n\nO\u011fuz&#8217;a, konut kredisine y\u00f6nelik g\u00f6n\u00fcll\u00fc deste\u011fimin sona erdi\u011fini, ara\u00e7 kredisi konusunu ise bankayla resmi olarak \u00e7\u00f6zece\u011fimi yazd\u0131m. Telefon ve depo masraflar\u0131na ili\u015fkin ge\u00e7i\u015f i\u015flemlerinin bilgilerini de ekledim.\n\nCevab\u0131m\u0131n sonunda \u015fu c\u00fcmle vard\u0131:\n\n\u201cG\u00fclce&#8217;nin annesi olmaya devam edece\u011fim. Fakat sizin b\u00fct\u00e7enizin s\u00fcrekli a\u00e7\u0131k veren bir par\u00e7as\u0131 olmayaca\u011f\u0131m.\u201d\n\n\u0130ki g\u00fcn sonra G\u00fclce beni arad\u0131. Bu kez telefonu a\u00e7t\u0131m.\n\n\u201cAnne, konu\u015fabilir miyiz?\u201d\n\n\u201cKonu\u015fabiliriz.\u201d\n\nSesi al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan farkl\u0131yd\u0131. Daha yorgun, daha al\u00e7akt\u0131.\n\n\u201cBize ger\u00e7ekten k\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131n m\u0131?\u201d\n\n\u201cEvet, G\u00fclce.\u201d\n\n\u201cBiz sadece biraz kendi alan\u0131m\u0131z olsun istedik.\u201d\n\n\u201cBunu istemeye hakk\u0131n\u0131z var. Ama bana hayat\u0131n\u0131zdan \u00e7\u0131kmam\u0131 s\u00f6yleyip ayn\u0131 anda b\u00fct\u00fcn giderlerinizi kar\u015f\u0131lamam\u0131 beklemeniz beni incitti.\u201d\n\nBir s\u00fcre sustu.\n\n\u201cO\u011fuz mesaj\u0131 fazla sert yazd\u0131.\u201d\n\n\u201cG\u00f6nderen sendin.\u201d\n\nSessizlik uzad\u0131.\n\n\u201cHakl\u0131s\u0131n,\u201d dedi sonunda. \u201cG\u00f6ndermemeliydim.\u201d\n\n\u0130lk kez sorumlulu\u011fu tamamen kocas\u0131na y\u00fcklemeden konu\u015fuyordu.\n\n\u201cG\u00fclce, sana bir \u015fey sormak istiyorum. Benimle g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmek istemedi\u011finde bunu ger\u00e7ekten sen mi istedin, yoksa \u00f6fkeyle mi yapt\u0131n?\u201d\n\n\u201cBir s\u00fcredir bunalm\u0131\u015f hissediyordum. Sen Tuna&#8217;y\u0131 g\u00f6rmeyi sordu\u011funda bazen kendimi yeti\u015femiyormu\u015f gibi hissediyordum. O\u011fuz da aram\u0131za mesafe koymam\u0131z gerekti\u011fini s\u00f6yl\u00fcyordu.\u201d\n\n\u201cBunu bana anlatabilirdin.\u201d\n\n\u201cBiliyorum.\u201d\n\n\u201cBen de sana her ziyaret i\u00e7in sormamam\u0131 isteyebilece\u011fini bilmeliydim. Ama bunu konu\u015fmak yerine beni tamamen d\u0131\u015far\u0131da b\u0131rakt\u0131n\u0131z.\u201d\n\nG\u00fclce&#8217;nin a\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 duydum.\n\nTelefonu kapatmadan \u00f6nce bir konuda anla\u015ft\u0131k. Birbirimizin duygular\u0131n\u0131 konu\u015fabilecektik ama para yard\u0131m\u0131 bu konu\u015fman\u0131n \u015fart\u0131 olmayacakt\u0131.\n\nBir hafta sonra G\u00fclce tek ba\u015f\u0131na ziyarete geldi. Kap\u0131y\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131mda y\u00fcz\u00fcnde utanga\u00e7 bir ifade vard\u0131.\n\n\u201c\u0130\u00e7eri gelebilir miyim?\u201d\n\n\u201cTabii ki.\u201d\n\nSalonda oturduk. \u0130lk dakikalar tuhaft\u0131. Y\u0131llard\u0131r sorunlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 ya g\u00f6rmezden gelmi\u015f ya da parayla \u00e7\u00f6zm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fck. \u015eimdi masada yaln\u0131zca iki fincan \u00e7ay vard\u0131.\n\nG\u00fclce \u00e7antas\u0131ndan bir k\u00e2\u011f\u0131t \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131.\n\n\u201cO\u011fuz&#8217;la b\u00fct\u00e7e yapt\u0131k,\u201d dedi. \u201c\u0130lk kez b\u00fct\u00fcn harcamalar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 yan yana yazd\u0131k.\u201d\n\nK\u00e2\u011f\u0131d\u0131 bana uzatt\u0131 ama almad\u0131m.\n\n\u201cBunu bana kan\u0131tlamak zorunda de\u011filsin.\u201d\n\n\u201cG\u00f6stermek istiyorum.\u201d\n\nTabloya bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda televizyon al\u0131\u015fveri\u015finin, pahal\u0131 aboneliklerin ve ertelenebilecek pek \u00e7ok harcaman\u0131n bulundu\u011funu g\u00f6rd\u00fcm.\n\n\u201cTelevizyonu iade ettik,\u201d dedi. \u201cEv sinema salonundan da vazge\u00e7tik. O\u011fuz baz\u0131 i\u015f planlar\u0131n\u0131 k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcltecek. Ben \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma saatlerimi art\u0131rmak i\u00e7in g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyorum.\u201d\n\n\u201cBunlar\u0131 duymak g\u00fczel.\u201d\n\n\u201cAnne, senin paran olmadan ya\u015fayamayaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 san\u0131yordum. Galiba asl\u0131nda hayat\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 buna g\u00f6re d\u00fczenlemeye al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f\u0131z.\u201d\n\nG\u00f6zlerim doldu.\n\n\u201cBen de yard\u0131m etmeyi b\u0131rak\u0131rsam art\u0131k bana ihtiya\u00e7 duymayaca\u011f\u0131ndan korkuyordum.\u201d\n\nG\u00fclce \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131kla bakt\u0131.\n\n\u201cGer\u00e7ekten mi?\u201d\n\n\u201cEvet. Her sorun \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda beni araman\u0131z, bazen kendimi h\u00e2l\u00e2 hayat\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n \u00f6nemli bir par\u00e7as\u0131 gibi hissettiriyordu. Bunun sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 bir ili\u015fki olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlamak uzun s\u00fcrd\u00fc.\u201d\n\nO g\u00fcn ikimiz de birbirimizin yerine karar vermeden konu\u015fmay\u0131 ba\u015fard\u0131k.\n\nAma her sorun \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f de\u011fildi.\n\nO\u011fuz, yard\u0131mlar\u0131n kesilmesine k\u0131zg\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00fcrd\u00fcr\u00fcyordu. Birka\u00e7 kez G\u00fclce arac\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131yla yeniden para istedi. Her defas\u0131nda ayn\u0131 cevab\u0131 verdim. Art\u0131k d\u00fczenli mali destek sa\u011flamayacakt\u0131m.\n\nBankayla y\u00fcr\u00fctt\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmeler sonunda ara\u00e7 kredisi, uygunluk incelemesinin ard\u0131ndan G\u00fclce ve O\u011fuz&#8217;un kendi adlar\u0131na yeniden yap\u0131land\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131. B\u00f6ylece s\u00f6zle\u015fmeden do\u011fan sorumlulu\u011fum resmi olarak sona erdi. Depodaki e\u015fyalar\u0131n\u0131 da ay bitmeden ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131lar. Telefon hatlar\u0131n\u0131 kendi hesaplar\u0131na ge\u00e7irdiler.\n\nBunlar\u0131n hi\u00e7biri onlar\u0131 cezaland\u0131rmak i\u00e7in yap\u0131lmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Yaln\u0131zca her yeti\u015fkinin kendi kararlar\u0131n\u0131n mali sorumlulu\u011funu \u00fcstlenmesini istiyordum.\n\nEn \u00e7ok d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm ki\u015fi ise Tuna&#8217;yd\u0131.\n\nYedi ya\u015f\u0131ndaki torunumun yeti\u015fkinler aras\u0131nda ya\u015fananlardan dolay\u0131 kendisini istenmiyormu\u015f gibi hissetmesini istemiyordum.\n\nBir g\u00fcn G\u00fclce&#8217;ye, Tuna&#8217;yla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fme konusunu para meselelerinden ayr\u0131 tutmam\u0131z gerekti\u011fini s\u00f6yledim. K\u0131z\u0131m kabul etti. \u0130lk ba\u015fta ayda iki kez birlikte vakit ge\u00e7irmemizi kararla\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131k. Zamanla herkesin program\u0131na g\u00f6re bunu d\u00fczenleyebilecektik.\n\n\u0130lk bulu\u015fmam\u0131zda Tuna kap\u0131dan ko\u015farak girdi.\n\n\u201cAnneanne! Ku\u015f yuvas\u0131n\u0131 tamir edebilir miyiz?\u201d\n\nG\u00fcl\u00fcmsedim. Fikret&#8217;in y\u0131llar \u00f6nce G\u00fclce&#8217;yle yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 eski ku\u015f yuvas\u0131 bah\u00e7enin kenar\u0131nda duruyordu.\n\n\u201cEdebiliriz tabii.\u201d\n\nGaraja gittik. K\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 alet sand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131m. Tuna, dedesinden kalan aletlere merakla bakt\u0131.\n\n\u201cBunlar\u0131n hepsi dedemin mi?\u201d\n\n\u201cEvet. \u00c7ok severdi bunlar\u0131.\u201d\n\n\u201cBen de \u00f6\u011frenebilir miyim?\u201d\n\n\u201cBeraber \u00f6\u011frenebiliriz.\u201d\n\nO \u00f6\u011fleden sonra ku\u015f yuvas\u0131n\u0131 birlikte onard\u0131k. Onun g\u00fcvenli bi\u00e7imde yapabilece\u011fi k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck i\u015fleri se\u00e7tim. Tuna tahtay\u0131 tutarken ben gerekli onar\u0131mlar\u0131 yapt\u0131m. Sonra yuvay\u0131 bah\u00e7edeki a\u011faca yerle\u015ftirdik.\n\nTuna ellerini \u00e7\u0131rpt\u0131.\n\n\u201cAnneannemle en g\u00fczel g\u00fcn!\u201d\n\nBir an bo\u011faz\u0131m d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmlendi. Ona pahal\u0131 bir oyuncak almam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Ailesinin faturas\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6dememi\u015ftim. Yaln\u0131zca beraber zaman ge\u00e7irmi\u015ftik.\n\nYine de mutluydu.\n\nSonbahara do\u011fru evimdeki b\u00fct\u00fcn ertelenmi\u015f tamiratlar tamamland\u0131. Yeni pencere yal\u0131t\u0131m\u0131 sayesinde misafir odas\u0131 art\u0131k so\u011fuk de\u011fildi. Banyo muslu\u011fu de\u011fi\u015fmi\u015fti. Kendime y\u0131llard\u0131r istedi\u011fim sa\u011flam bir k\u0131\u015fl\u0131k palto ald\u0131m.\n\n\u0130lk kez k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir tatil i\u00e7in de para ay\u0131rd\u0131m. Y\u00fcksel&#8217;le birka\u00e7 g\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcne deniz kenar\u0131ndaki sakin bir kasabaya gittik. Sabahlar\u0131 y\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fc\u015f yapt\u0131k, ak\u015famlar\u0131 uzun uzun sohbet ettik.\n\nD\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f yolunda Y\u00fcksel bana bakt\u0131.\n\n\u201cPi\u015fman m\u0131s\u0131n?\u201d\n\n\u201cNeden?\u201d\n\n\u201cYard\u0131m\u0131 kesti\u011fin i\u00e7in.\u201d\n\nBir s\u00fcre d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm.\n\n\u201cHay\u0131r. Sadece bunu k\u0131r\u0131lmadan \u00f6nce konu\u015fabilmi\u015f olmay\u0131 isterdim.\u201d\n\n\u201cDemek do\u011fru karar\u0131 vermi\u015fsin.\u201d\n\nG\u00fcl\u00fcmsedim. \u201cKendim i\u00e7in do\u011fru karar\u0131 verdim. G\u00fclce&#8217;nin de kendi kararlar\u0131n\u0131 vermesine izin vermeyi \u00f6\u011freniyorum.\u201d\n\nK\u0131\u015f geldi\u011finde k\u0131z\u0131mla ili\u015fkimiz eskisinden farkl\u0131yd\u0131. Her g\u00fcn konu\u015fmuyorduk. Bazen haftada yaln\u0131zca bir kez haberle\u015fiyorduk. Fakat konu\u015ftu\u011fumuzda ger\u00e7ekten birbirimizi dinliyorduk.\n\nG\u00fclce art\u0131k telefon a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131nda \u00f6nce nas\u0131l oldu\u011fumu soruyordu. Ben de onun hayat\u0131yla ilgilenirken istemedi\u011fi konularda \u0131srar etmemeye dikkat ediyordum.\n\nO\u011fuz&#8217;la aram\u0131zdaki mesafe s\u00fcrd\u00fc. Bazen aile bulu\u015fmalar\u0131nda kar\u015f\u0131la\u015f\u0131yor, sayg\u0131l\u0131 bi\u00e7imde selamla\u015f\u0131yorduk. \u00d6nceden oldu\u011fu gibi yak\u0131n davranmak zorunda hissetmiyordum. G\u00fcvenin yeniden kurulmas\u0131n\u0131n yaln\u0131zca zamanla de\u011fil, davran\u0131\u015flarla m\u00fcmk\u00fcn oldu\u011funu biliyordum.\n\nBir pazar g\u00fcn\u00fc G\u00fclce ve Tuna kahvalt\u0131ya geldi. Masay\u0131 haz\u0131rlarken k\u0131z\u0131m giri\u015fteki seramik k\u00e2seye bakt\u0131.\n\n\u201cAnne, anahtar\u0131 geri verecek misin?\u201d diye sordu.\n\nBir an d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm.\n\n\u201c\u015eimdilik gerek olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum. Ziyaret edece\u011finde haberle\u015firiz.\u201d\n\nBa\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sallad\u0131.\n\n\u201cTamam. Bunu anl\u0131yorum.\u201d\n\n\u0130\u015fte o an ili\u015fkimizde ger\u00e7ekten bir \u015feylerin de\u011fi\u015fti\u011fini hissettim. Ne o benim s\u0131n\u0131r\u0131m\u0131 bir reddedilme olarak g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc ne de ben onun ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sevgisizlik saym\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.\n\nKahvalt\u0131dan sonra Tuna garaja ko\u015ftu. Fikret&#8217;in k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 sand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnce g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi.\n\n\u201cAnneanne, bug\u00fcn de bir \u015fey yapacak m\u0131y\u0131z?\u201d\n\n\u201cNe yapmak istersin?\u201d\n\n\u201cAnnem i\u00e7in k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir \u00e7i\u00e7ek kutusu!\u201d\n\nG\u00fclce kap\u0131da durmu\u015f bizi izliyordu. G\u00f6zleri doldu ama g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi.\n\nO g\u00fcn \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcm\u00fcz birlikte k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir ah\u015fap \u00e7i\u00e7ek kutusu haz\u0131rlad\u0131k. Tuna \u00fczerine renkli \u00e7i\u00e7ekler \u00e7izdi. G\u00fclce topra\u011f\u0131 yerle\u015ftirdi. Ben de pencerenin \u00f6n\u00fcnden ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck fideleri kutuya koydum.\n\n\u0130\u015fimizi bitirdi\u011fimizde k\u0131z\u0131m elimi tuttu.\n\n\u201cAnne, bize yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n yard\u0131mlar i\u00e7in te\u015fekk\u00fcr ederim. Ama daha \u00f6nemlisi, h\u00e2l\u00e2 hayat\u0131m\u0131zda oldu\u011fun i\u00e7in te\u015fekk\u00fcr ederim.\u201d\n\n\u201cBen de sizin hayat\u0131n\u0131zda olmak istiyorum,\u201d dedim. \u201cAma art\u0131k bunu kendimi t\u00fcketmeden yapmak istiyorum.\u201d\n\nG\u00fclce ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 omzuma yaslad\u0131.\n\nO ak\u015fam onlar gittikten sonra garaja indim. K\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 alet sand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n kapa\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kapatmadan \u00f6nce Fikret&#8217;le G\u00fclce&#8217;nin eski foto\u011fraf\u0131n\u0131 yeniden g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Yan\u0131na bug\u00fcn \u00e7ekti\u011fimiz bir foto\u011fraf\u0131 koydum. Birinde k\u0131z\u0131m sekiz ya\u015f\u0131ndayd\u0131 ve babas\u0131yla ku\u015f yuvas\u0131 tutuyordu. Di\u011ferinde b\u00fcy\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f k\u0131z\u0131m, kendi o\u011fluyla haz\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00e7i\u00e7ek kutusunun yan\u0131nda g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcyordu.\n\nD\u00f6rt y\u0131l boyunca ailemi bir arada tutan \u015feyin para oldu\u011funu sanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Oysa ger\u00e7ek ba\u011f\u0131m\u0131z, birbirimizin ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 anlamak, gerekti\u011finde hay\u0131r diyebilmek ve buna ra\u011fmen sevgimizi s\u00fcrd\u00fcrebilmekti.\n\nK\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n hayat\u0131n\u0131 finanse etmeyi b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m ama annesi olmay\u0131 b\u0131rakmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Torunuma pahal\u0131 hediyeler sunmuyordum ama ona zaman\u0131m\u0131, ilgimi ve sevgimi verebiliyordum.\n\nArt\u0131k biliyordum ki sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 s\u0131n\u0131rlar insanlar\u0131 birbirinden uzakla\u015ft\u0131rmak i\u00e7in de\u011fil, birbirlerini incitmeden yak\u0131n kalabilmeleri i\u00e7in vard\u0131.\n\nFikret&#8217;in k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 sand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kapat\u0131p garaj\u0131n \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6nd\u00fcrd\u00fcm. \u0130\u00e7eri girerken uzun zamand\u0131r hissetmedi\u011fim bir huzur vard\u0131 i\u00e7imde. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc sonunda yaln\u0131zca aileme de\u011fil, kendime de sahip \u00e7\u0131kmay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015ftim.\n\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl>\n\t\t\t<br style='clear: both' \/>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2011,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2010","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-foto-galeri"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2010","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2010"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2010\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2013,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2010\/revisions\/2013"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2011"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2010"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2010"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2010"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}