{"id":2035,"date":"2026-10-24T20:17:03","date_gmt":"2026-10-24T20:17:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/?p=2035"},"modified":"2026-10-24T20:17:03","modified_gmt":"2026-10-24T20:17:03","slug":"37-yillik-en-yakin-arkadasim-sahilde-son-fotografimizi-istedi-olen-kocamla-ilgili-sakladigi-sir-hayatimi-degistirdi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/37-yillik-en-yakin-arkadasim-sahilde-son-fotografimizi-istedi-olen-kocamla-ilgili-sakladigi-sir-hayatimi-degistirdi\/","title":{"rendered":"37 Y\u0131ll\u0131k En Yak\u0131n Arkada\u015f\u0131m Sahilde Son Foto\u011fraf\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 \u0130stedi, \u00d6len Kocamla \u0130lgili Saklad\u0131\u011f\u0131 S\u0131r Hayat\u0131m\u0131 De\u011fi\u015ftirdi"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t\t<style>\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 {\n\t\t\t\tmargin: auto;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-item {\n\t\t\t\tfloat: left;\n\t\t\t\tmargin-top: 10px;\n\t\t\t\ttext-align: center;\n\t\t\t\twidth: 33%;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 img {\n\t\t\t\tborder: 2px solid #cfcfcf;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-caption {\n\t\t\t\tmargin-left: 0;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t\/* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes\/media.php *\/\n\t\t<\/style>\n\t\t<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-2035 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/37-yillik-en-yakin-arkadasim-sahilde-son-fotografimizi-istedi-olen-kocamla-ilgili-sakladigi-sir-hayatimi-degistirdi\/ggt-4\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/ggt-3-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-2036\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-2036'>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cNazan, l\u00fctfen bana \u00f6yle bakma,\u201d dedi Nermin, sesi neredeyse duyulmayacak kadar k\u0131s\u0131kt\u0131.\n\nElimi havlunun \u00fczerinden \u00e7ekip kendimden uzakla\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131m. Dalgalar\u0131n sesi bir anda dayan\u0131lmaz derecede y\u00fckselmi\u015f gibiydi.\n\n\u201cLevent&#8217;le aran\u0131zda bir \u015fey mi vard\u0131?\u201d\n\nNermin ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 iki yana sallad\u0131.\n\n\u201cHay\u0131r. Sana bu \u015fekilde ihanet etmedim.\u201d\n\n\u201cPeki ne yapt\u0131n?\u201d\n\n\u201cYar\u0131n \u00f6\u011freneceklerin y\u00fcz\u00fcnden bana inanmayabilirsin. Ama Levent&#8217;le aram\u0131zda hi\u00e7bir zaman b\u00f6yle bir ili\u015fki olmad\u0131.\u201d\n\nAya\u011fa kalkt\u0131m. Kum ayaklar\u0131m\u0131n alt\u0131ndan kayarken \u015fezlonga tutunmak zorunda kald\u0131m.\n\n\u201c\u00d6yleyse \u015fimdi konu\u015f.\u201d\n\n\u201cKe\u015fke konu\u015fabilsem.\u201d\n\nBu cevap \u00f6fkemi daha da art\u0131rd\u0131.\n\n\u201cNermin, otuz yedi y\u0131ld\u0131r arkada\u015f\u0131z. Benimle oyun oynama.\u201d\n\nG\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 silip \u00e7antas\u0131ndan katlanm\u0131\u015f bir k\u00e2\u011f\u0131t \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131. K\u00e2\u011f\u0131d\u0131 bana uzat\u0131rken elleri titriyordu.\n\n\u00dczerinde bir noterlik randevusunun bilgileri vard\u0131. Ertesi sabah saat on birde \u015fehir merkezindeki bir hukuk b\u00fcrosunda bulunmam\u0131z isteniyordu. Kat\u0131l\u0131mc\u0131lar\u0131n aras\u0131nda benim, Nermin&#8217;in ve bir avukat\u0131n isimleri yaz\u0131yordu.\n\n\u201cBu da ne?\u201d diye sordum.\n\n\u201cLevent&#8217;in \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden sonra a\u00e7\u0131lmas\u0131n\u0131 istedi\u011fi bir dosya. Yar\u0131n, belirledi\u011fi tarihte bize birlikte a\u00e7\u0131klanacak.\u201d\n\n\u201cLevent bana neden b\u00f6yle bir \u015feyden s\u00f6z etmedi?\u201d\n\nNermin y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc denize \u00e7evirdi.\n\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon portrait'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/37-yillik-en-yakin-arkadasim-sahilde-son-fotografimizi-istedi-olen-kocamla-ilgili-sakladigi-sir-hayatimi-degistirdi\/ttt\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/ttt-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-2037\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-2037'>\n\t\t\t\t\u201c\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc o da baz\u0131 ger\u00e7eklerle nas\u0131l y\u00fczle\u015fece\u011fini bilmiyordu.\u201d\n\nO gece otelde ayn\u0131 odada kald\u0131k ama neredeyse hi\u00e7 konu\u015fmad\u0131k. Nermin yata\u011f\u0131n\u0131n kenar\u0131nda oturup uzun s\u00fcre pencereye bakt\u0131. Ben ise Levent&#8217;le ge\u00e7irdi\u011fim y\u0131llar\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmekten uyuyamad\u0131m.\n\nKocamla arkada\u015f\u0131m aras\u0131nda gizli bir yak\u0131nl\u0131k olup olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 zihnimde tekrar tekrar sorgulad\u0131m. Levent&#8217;in Nermin&#8217;e kar\u015f\u0131 nazik olu\u015funu, onun evimize istedi\u011fi zaman girebilmesini, bazen uzun uzun konu\u015fmalar\u0131n\u0131 hat\u0131rlad\u0131m.\n\nEskiden bunlar\u0131n hepsini do\u011fal bulurdum.\n\n\u015eimdi ayn\u0131 an\u0131lar i\u00e7imde ba\u015fka sorular uyand\u0131r\u0131yordu.\n\nSabah oldu\u011funda Nermin benden \u00f6nce haz\u0131rlanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. G\u00f6zleri \u015fi\u015fmi\u015fti.\n\nKahvalt\u0131da yaln\u0131zca kahve i\u00e7tik. Saat ona do\u011fru otelden ayr\u0131ld\u0131k.\n\nHukuk b\u00fcrosuna vard\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda bizi ellili ya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n sonunda bir avukat kar\u015f\u0131lad\u0131. Ad\u0131n\u0131n Haluk oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yledi.\n\nMasas\u0131n\u0131n \u00fczerinde kal\u0131n bir dosya, iki zarf ve Levent&#8217;in gen\u00e7lik y\u0131llar\u0131ndan kalma bir foto\u011fraf vard\u0131.\n\nFoto\u011fraf\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnce nefesim kesildi.\n\nLevent&#8217;in yan\u0131nda Nermin duruyordu.\n\n\u0130kisi de yakla\u015f\u0131k yirmili ya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131ndayd\u0131. Foto\u011frafta tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir hastanenin bah\u00e7esinde yan yana durmu\u015flard\u0131.\n\n\u201cBu foto\u011fraf ne zaman \u00e7ekildi?\u201d diye sordum.\n\nNermin ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 e\u011fdi.\n\n\u201cSen Levent&#8217;le tan\u0131\u015fmadan \u00f6nce.\u201d\n\nOna bakt\u0131m.\n\n\u201cBirbirinizi \u00f6nceden tan\u0131yor muydunuz?\u201d\n\n\u201cEvet.\u201d\n\nBu tek kelime i\u00e7imde y\u0131llard\u0131r sa\u011flam sand\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir duvar\u0131 y\u0131kt\u0131.\n\nHaluk \u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fczdeki dosyay\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131.\n\n\u201cLevent Bey, baz\u0131 belgelerin size ancak belirledi\u011fi ko\u015fullar tamamland\u0131\u011f\u0131nda a\u00e7\u0131klanmas\u0131n\u0131 istemi\u015fti. Bunlar aras\u0131nda Nermin Han\u0131m&#8217;\u0131n ge\u00e7mi\u015fine ili\u015fkin bilgiler de bulunuyor. Dosyan\u0131n a\u00e7\u0131klanaca\u011f\u0131 tarih \u00f6nceden belirlenmi\u015fti ve yetkilendirmeler buna g\u00f6re d\u00fczenlenmi\u015fti.\u201d\n\n\u201cNeden \u00f6zellikle bug\u00fcn?\u201d\n\n\u201c\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden sonra ba\u015flat\u0131lan bir sosyal destek \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131n son belgeleri d\u00fcn tamamland\u0131. Levent Bey, b\u00fct\u00fcn kay\u0131tlar haz\u0131r olmadan eksik bilgilerle kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fman\u0131z\u0131 istememi\u015f.\u201d\n\nNermin g\u00f6zlerini kapatt\u0131.\n\nAvukat konu\u015fmaya devam etti.\n\n\u201c\u00d6ncelikle bilmenizi isterim ki Levent Bey ile Nermin Han\u0131m aras\u0131nda romantik bir ili\u015fki oldu\u011funa dair bu dosyada herhangi bir bilgi bulunmuyor. Ancak birlikte saklad\u0131klar\u0131 bir ge\u00e7mi\u015f var.\u201d\n\nNermin sonunda konu\u015ftu.\n\n\u201cBenim ger\u00e7ek soyad\u0131m \u00e7ocukken kulland\u0131\u011f\u0131m soyad\u0131m de\u011fildi, Nazan.\u201d\n\n\u015ea\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131kla ona bakt\u0131m.\n\n\u201cNe demek istiyorsun?\u201d\n\n\u201cAnnemle babam diye tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131n insanlar beni yedi ya\u015f\u0131mdayken yanlar\u0131na ald\u0131. Resm\u00ee i\u015flemler daha sonra tamamland\u0131. O y\u0131llarda ailemle ilgili \u00e7ok zor \u015feyler ya\u015fanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\u201d\n\nBunu bilmiyordum.\n\nNermin&#8217;in ailesini her zaman kendi ailesi olarak g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm. Annesinin sevgi dolu g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemesini, babas\u0131n\u0131n okul g\u00f6sterilerinde \u00e7ekti\u011fi foto\u011fraflar\u0131 hat\u0131rl\u0131yordum.\n\n\u201cNeden bana s\u00f6ylemedin?\u201d\n\n\u201c\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u00e7ocukken terk edilmi\u015f oldu\u011fumu s\u00f6ylemekten utan\u0131yordum. B\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde ise ger\u00e7e\u011fi anlatmak her ge\u00e7en y\u0131l zorla\u015ft\u0131.\u201d\n\nHaluk dosyadaki eski foto\u011fraf\u0131 i\u015faret etti.\n\n\u201cLevent Bey, \u00fcniversite y\u0131llar\u0131nda aile ge\u00e7mi\u015fine ili\u015fkin baz\u0131 belgelerin bulundu\u011fu bir yard\u0131m kurulu\u015funda g\u00f6n\u00fcll\u00fc olarak \u00e7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f. Nermin Han\u0131m da biyolojik ailesine ula\u015fmak amac\u0131yla oraya ba\u015fvurmu\u015f.\u201d\n\nNermin g\u00f6zlerimin i\u00e7ine bakt\u0131.\n\n\u201cLevent&#8217;le ilk kez orada tan\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. Sen onunla kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131nda birbirimizi zaten tan\u0131yorduk.\u201d\n\n\u201cPeki neden ikiniz de bunu saklad\u0131n\u0131z?\u201d\n\n\u201c\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ge\u00e7mi\u015fimi kimsenin bilmesini istemedim. Levent&#8217;e de anlatmamas\u0131 i\u00e7in yalvard\u0131m.\u201d\n\nKalbim h\u0131zla \u00e7arpmaya ba\u015flad\u0131.\n\n\u201cYaln\u0131zca bu y\u00fczden mi b\u00fct\u00fcn bu korku?\u201d\n\nNermin a\u011flamaya ba\u015flad\u0131.\n\n\u201cHay\u0131r. As\u0131l mesele ba\u015fka.\u201d\n\nHaluk ikinci zarf\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131. \u0130\u00e7inden eski bir mektup ve birka\u00e7 foto\u011fraf \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131.\n\nMektup annemin el yaz\u0131s\u0131yla yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\nBir anda donakald\u0131m.\n\nAnnem y\u0131llar \u00f6nce \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. El yaz\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 hemen tan\u0131m\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.\n\n\u201cNermin&#8217;in annesiyle senin annen gen\u00e7liklerinde yak\u0131n arkada\u015fm\u0131\u015f,\u201d dedi Haluk. \u201cNermin&#8217;in biyolojik ailesinin da\u011f\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 d\u00f6nemde anneniz ona yard\u0131m etmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f.\u201d\n\nMektubu elime ald\u0131m.\n\nAnnem, Nermin&#8217;in k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ya\u015fta ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 kay\u0131plar\u0131 anlat\u0131yordu. Ailesinin yan\u0131nda b\u00fcy\u00fcyememesinin onun se\u00e7imi olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, bir g\u00fcn kendini su\u00e7larsa ger\u00e7e\u011fin ona a\u00e7\u0131klanmas\u0131n\u0131 istedi\u011fini yazm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\nSon sat\u0131rda benimle ilgili bir c\u00fcmle vard\u0131.\n\n\u201cNazan&#8217;\u0131n sana verdi\u011fi dostlu\u011fu kaybetmekten korkma. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc bir g\u00fcn ger\u00e7ekleri \u00f6\u011frendi\u011finde seni ge\u00e7mi\u015fin i\u00e7in de\u011fil, yan\u0131nda oldu\u011fun insan oldu\u011fun i\u00e7in sevecektir.\u201d\n\nG\u00f6zlerim doldu.\n\n\u201cAnnem biliyor muydu?\u201d\n\nNermin ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sallad\u0131.\n\n\u201cEvet. Ama ben sana anlatmaya haz\u0131r de\u011fildim. Annen bana bunu kendi zaman\u0131mda yapabilece\u011fimi s\u00f6yledi.\u201d\n\n\u201cPeki Levent?\u201d\n\n\u201cY\u0131llar sonra biyolojik ailemle ilgili yeni kay\u0131tlar ortaya \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda bana yard\u0131m etti. Seninle konu\u015fmam i\u00e7in defalarca cesaret verdi. Ben hep korktum.\u201d\n\nHaluk \u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fcze son belgeyi koydu.\n\nLevent, \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden \u00f6nce Nermin&#8217;in ge\u00e7mi\u015fiyle ba\u011flant\u0131l\u0131 bir sosyal destek projesi i\u00e7in para ay\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u00c7ocuklukta ailelerinden ayr\u0131lm\u0131\u015f insanlar\u0131n e\u011fitim ve bar\u0131nma ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131na katk\u0131 sa\u011flayan k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir kurulu\u015fla anla\u015fma yap\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Nermin&#8217;den projenin \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131na kat\u0131lmas\u0131 istenmi\u015fti.\n\nAma Nermin bunu kabul etmekte zorlanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\n\u201c\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc herkes benim kim oldu\u011fumu \u00f6\u011frenirse senden de uzakla\u015faca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm,\u201d dedi.\n\n\u201cYani b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131 y\u0131llard\u0131r s\u0131rf ge\u00e7mi\u015finden utand\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7in mi saklad\u0131n?\u201d\n\n\u201cBa\u015fta \u00f6yleydi. Sonra ba\u015fka bir \u015fey oldu.\u201d\n\nSesi titredi.\n\n\u201cLevent hastaland\u0131\u011f\u0131nda baz\u0131 sa\u011fl\u0131k randevular\u0131nda ona ben e\u015flik ettim. Seni \u00fczmemek i\u00e7in bunu s\u00f6ylemememi istedi. Ama ben onun ne kadar korktu\u011funu g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Sana her \u015feyi anlatmas\u0131 gerekti\u011fini s\u00f6yledim. O ise \u00f6nce kendisini toparlamak istedi.\u201d\n\nG\u00f6zlerimden ya\u015flar s\u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fc.\n\n\u201cBen bunlar\u0131n hi\u00e7birini bilmiyordum.\u201d\n\n\u201cBiliyorum. Ve bu y\u00fczden kendimi affedemiyorum.\u201d\n\nLevent&#8217;in son aylar\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. Bazen yorgun oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yledi\u011fi g\u00fcnleri, benim onu dinlenmeye zorlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m ak\u015famlar\u0131, Nermin&#8217;in sessizce yan\u0131m\u0131zda oturu\u015funu hat\u0131rlad\u0131m.\n\n\u201cPeki neden bana s\u00f6ylemedi?\u201d\n\nHaluk cevap verdi.\n\n\u201cLevent Bey ger\u00e7e\u011fi a\u00e7\u0131klamak i\u00e7in bir mektup b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015f. Ama t\u0131bbi kararlar\u0131n\u0131 sizden saklam\u0131\u015f olmas\u0131n\u0131n do\u011fru olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 da mektubunda kabul ediyor.\u201d\n\nMektubu a\u00e7t\u0131m.\n\nLevent&#8217;in el yaz\u0131s\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131ma \u00e7\u0131k\u0131nca kendimi tutamad\u0131m.\n\n\u201cNazan&#8217;\u0131m, sana s\u00f6yleyemedi\u011fim \u015feyler i\u00e7in \u00fczg\u00fcn\u00fcm. Seni korudu\u011fumu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrken asl\u0131nda seni ger\u00e7e\u011fin d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda b\u0131rakt\u0131m. Nermin&#8217;in ge\u00e7mi\u015fini \u00f6\u011frenince ona yard\u0131m ettim \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc senin ona duydu\u011fun sevgiyi biliyordum. Hastal\u0131\u011f\u0131m ilerledi\u011finde onun deste\u011fini kabul ettim ama sana baz\u0131 korkular\u0131m\u0131 anlatamad\u0131m. Bu benim hatamd\u0131. L\u00fctfen Nermin&#8217;i benim suskunlu\u011fumun tek sorumlusu olarak g\u00f6rme. Ona s\u0131r saklamas\u0131 i\u00e7in ben de bask\u0131 yapt\u0131m.\u201d\n\nMektubu g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcme bast\u0131rd\u0131m.\n\nLevent art\u0131k hayatta de\u011fildi. Ona k\u0131zabilir, \u00f6zleyebilir, hatta baz\u0131 kararlar\u0131n\u0131 asla anlayamayabilirdim. Ama cevaplar\u0131n\u0131 kendisinden duyamayacakt\u0131m.\n\nNermin&#8217;e d\u00f6nd\u00fcm.\n\n\u201cBeni neden bu kadar korkuttun?\u201d\n\n\u201c\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc sana ger\u00e7e\u011fi s\u00f6yleyince y\u0131llard\u0131r kurdu\u011fumuz her \u015feyin y\u0131k\u0131laca\u011f\u0131ndan korktum.\u201d\n\n\u201cD\u00fcn gece bana anlatabilirdin.\u201d\n\n\u201cAnlatmal\u0131yd\u0131m. Ama y\u0131llarca sustuktan sonra yine korkakl\u0131k ettim. Ayr\u0131ca bug\u00fcnk\u00fc belgeleri g\u00f6rmeden baz\u0131 \u015feyleri eksik anlataca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. Bu seni korkutmam\u0131 hakl\u0131 \u00e7\u0131karm\u0131yor.\u201d\n\nHakl\u0131yd\u0131. Bana ya\u015fatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 korku gereksizdi ve bunu bilmesi gerekiyordu.\n\n\u201cBana g\u00fcvenmeliydin,\u201d dedim.\n\n\u201cBiliyorum.\u201d\n\n\u201cSen benim ge\u00e7mi\u015fimden hi\u00e7bir zaman korkmad\u0131n. Benim neden seninkinden korkaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcn?\u201d\n\nNermin y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc ellerinin aras\u0131na ald\u0131.\n\n\u201c\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc kendimi hi\u00e7bir zaman senin kadar sevilebilir hissetmedim.\u201d\n\nO c\u00fcmle i\u00e7imde bir yere dokundu.\n\nOtuz yedi y\u0131ld\u0131r yan\u0131mda duran kad\u0131n\u0131n kendini h\u00e2l\u00e2 yedi ya\u015f\u0131nda terk edilmi\u015f k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir k\u0131z gibi hissetti\u011fini ilk kez anlad\u0131m.\n\nAma anlamak, ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m k\u0131rg\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ortadan kald\u0131rm\u0131yordu.\n\nO g\u00fcn Nermin&#8217;e sar\u0131lmad\u0131m.\n\nOtele d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fczde biraz yaln\u0131z kalmak istedi\u011fimi s\u00f6yledim. Sahilde tek ba\u015f\u0131ma y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fcm. Levent&#8217;in mektubunu tekrar okudum. Dalgalar\u0131n k\u0131y\u0131ya vurdu\u011fu yerde uzun s\u00fcre oturdum.\n\nAk\u015fam Nermin yan\u0131ma geldi\u011finde g\u00f6zleri k\u0131zarm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\n\u201cSana son bir kez \u00f6z\u00fcr dilemek istiyorum,\u201d dedi.\n\n\u201c\u00d6z\u00fcr dilemen yeterli de\u011fil. Bir daha benim hayat\u0131mla ilgili ger\u00e7ekleri benden saklamayaca\u011f\u0131na g\u00fcvenmem gerekiyor.\u201d\n\nBa\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sallad\u0131.\n\n\u201cHakl\u0131s\u0131n.\u201d\n\n\u201cLevent&#8217;in hastal\u0131\u011f\u0131yla ilgili bildiklerini \u00f6\u011frenmek isterdim. Bu bana ait bir hakt\u0131.\u201d\n\n\u201cBiliyorum. Onun iste\u011fine uymakla sana kar\u015f\u0131 d\u00fcr\u00fcst olmak aras\u0131nda kald\u0131m. Yanl\u0131\u015f se\u00e7im yapt\u0131m.\u201d\n\nUzun s\u00fcre sessiz kald\u0131k.\n\nSonra \u00e7antamdan d\u00fcn \u00e7ekti\u011fimiz foto\u011fraf\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131m. \u0130kimiz de g\u00fcl\u00fcyorduk. Oysa o foto\u011fraf\u0131n hemen ard\u0131ndan hayat\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n de\u011fi\u015fece\u011fini bilmiyordum.\n\n\u201cBu bizim son foto\u011fraf\u0131m\u0131z olmayabilir,\u201d dedim. \u201cAma bundan sonra dostlu\u011fumuzun eskisi gibi olmas\u0131 zaman alacak.\u201d\n\nNermin a\u011flayarak ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sallad\u0131.\n\n\u201cNe kadar zaman gerekiyorsa beklerim.\u201d\n\nAylar sonra Levent&#8217;in destek olmak istedi\u011fi kurulu\u015fun ilk etkinli\u011fine birlikte kat\u0131ld\u0131k. Nermin sahneye \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p \u00e7ocukluk hik\u00e2yesini anlatt\u0131. \u0130lk kez ge\u00e7mi\u015fini saklamadan konu\u015fuyordu.\n\nBen salonda oturup onu dinledim.\n\nKonu\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131 bitirdi\u011finde insanlar alk\u0131\u015flad\u0131. Nermin g\u00f6zlerini kalabal\u0131\u011f\u0131n aras\u0131nda gezdirdi ve beni buldu.\n\nG\u00fcl\u00fcmsedim.\n\nEtkinlikten sonra yan\u0131ma geldi.\n\n\u201cSeninle yeniden foto\u011fraf \u00e7ekilebilir miyiz?\u201d diye sordu.\n\nBu kez ben g\u00fcld\u00fcm.\n\n\u201cTabii. Ama sak\u0131n buna son foto\u011fraf\u0131m\u0131z deme.\u201d\n\nYan yana durduk. Telefonu kald\u0131rd\u0131m. Nermin \u00e7ocuklu\u011fumuzdaki gibi komik bir y\u00fcz yapt\u0131. Ben de ona uyup g\u00fcld\u00fcm.\n\nDeklan\u015f\u00f6re bast\u0131\u011f\u0131m anda anlad\u0131m ki ger\u00e7ek dostluk, hi\u00e7 hata yapmamak de\u011fildi. Bazen ger\u00e7e\u011fi \u00f6\u011frenince k\u0131r\u0131lmak, uzakla\u015fmak, sonra da g\u00fcveni yeniden kurmak i\u00e7in emek vermekti.\n\nLevent&#8217;in yoklu\u011fu h\u00e2l\u00e2 can\u0131m\u0131 yak\u0131yordu. Nermin&#8217;in y\u0131llarca saklad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ger\u00e7ekler de kolayca unutulacak \u015feyler de\u011fildi.\n\nAma art\u0131k ikimizin de birbirinden saklanmas\u0131na gerek yoktu.\n\nVe otuz yedi y\u0131l\u0131n ard\u0131ndan ilk kez dostlu\u011fumuzu al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131kla de\u011fil, b\u00fct\u00fcn ger\u00e7ekleri bilerek se\u00e7iyorduk.\n\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl>\n\t\t\t<br style='clear: both' \/>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2036,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2035","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-foto-galeri"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2035","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2035"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2035\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2038,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2035\/revisions\/2038"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2036"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2035"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2035"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2035"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}