{"id":2312,"date":"2026-10-31T20:21:27","date_gmt":"2026-10-31T20:21:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/?p=2312"},"modified":"2026-10-31T20:21:27","modified_gmt":"2026-10-31T20:21:27","slug":"babamin-is-arkadasiyla-evlendim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/babamin-is-arkadasiyla-evlendim\/","title":{"rendered":"Babam\u0131n i\u015f arkada\u015f\u0131yla evlendim"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t\t<style>\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 {\n\t\t\t\tmargin: auto;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-item {\n\t\t\t\tfloat: left;\n\t\t\t\tmargin-top: 10px;\n\t\t\t\ttext-align: center;\n\t\t\t\twidth: 33%;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 img {\n\t\t\t\tborder: 2px solid #cfcfcf;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-caption {\n\t\t\t\tmargin-left: 0;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t\/* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes\/media.php *\/\n\t\t<\/style>\n\t\t<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-2312 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/babamin-is-arkadasiyla-evlendim\/gfd-7\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/gfd-6-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-2313\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/gfd-6-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/gfd-6-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/gfd-6.jpg 540w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-2313'>\n\t\t\t\tBabam\u0131n i\u015f arkada\u015f\u0131yla evlenece\u011fimi s\u00f6yledi\u011fim g\u00fcn, insanlar\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcndeki \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131 h\u00e2l\u00e2 unutam\u0131yorum. Babam\u0131n y\u0131llard\u0131r birlikte \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 Cemil Bey benden tam yirmi ya\u015f b\u00fcy\u00fckt\u00fc. Ben otuz ya\u015f\u0131ndayd\u0131m, o ise elli. Aram\u0131zdaki ya\u015f fark\u0131 herkesin dilindeydi ama kimse benim i\u00e7imde kopan f\u0131rt\u0131nay\u0131 bilmiyordu.\n\n\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc Cemil\u2019i ilk ba\u015fta sadece babam\u0131n ciddi, mesafeli ve g\u00fcvenilir i\u015f arkada\u015f\u0131 olarak g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm. Bana hi\u00e7bir zaman s\u0131n\u0131r\u0131n\u0131 a\u015fan bir bak\u0131\u015f bile atmam\u0131\u015f, aksine ne zaman ayn\u0131 ortamda bulunsak benimle sanki babam\u0131n k\u0131z\u0131ym\u0131\u015f\u0131m gibi sayg\u0131l\u0131 konu\u015fmu\u015ftu. Belki de beni ona \u00e7eken ilk \u015fey buydu.\n\nOnun yan\u0131nda kendimi g\u00f6r\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f, korunmu\u015f ve garip bir \u015fekilde huzurlu hissediyordum.\n\nBabam bu evlili\u011fe ilk ba\u015fta kar\u015f\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131.\n\n\u201cK\u0131z\u0131m, aran\u0131zda yirmi ya\u015f var,\u201d dedi\u011finde ben sadece g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedim. \u201cBen \u00e7ocuk de\u011filim baba,\u201d diye cevap verdim. Asl\u0131nda karar\u0131m\u0131 \u00e7oktan vermi\u015ftim.\n\nCemil bana hi\u00e7bir zaman b\u00fcy\u00fck vaatlerde bulunmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Bana pahal\u0131 hediyeler alarak ya da g\u00fczel s\u00f6zlerle kendisini sevdirmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Onun sevgisi sessizdi.\n\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon portrait'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/babamin-is-arkadasiyla-evlendim\/vscv\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/vscv-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-2314\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-2314'>\n\t\t\t\tBazen eve d\u00f6nerken aray\u0131p \u201cYemek yedin mi?\u201d diye sormas\u0131, zor bir g\u00fcn ge\u00e7irdi\u011fimi s\u00f6yledi\u011fimde ertesi g\u00fcn hi\u00e7bir \u015fey sormadan yan\u0131mda belirmesi, konu\u015furken ger\u00e7ekten beni dinlemesi\u2026 Bunlar zamanla kalbimde hi\u00e7 beklemedi\u011fim bir yer a\u00e7m\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\n\nD\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fcz k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ama \u00e7ok g\u00fczel oldu. Babam\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcndeki endi\u015feyi, annemin g\u00f6zlerindeki mutlulu\u011fu ayn\u0131 anda g\u00f6r\u00fcyordum. Cemil ise b\u00fct\u00fcn gece elimi b\u0131rakmad\u0131.\n\n\u0130nsanlar\u0131n aras\u0131nda bana bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda g\u00f6zlerinde \u00f6yle sakin bir s\u0131cakl\u0131k vard\u0131 ki, o an do\u011fru karar\u0131 verdi\u011fime daha \u00e7ok inand\u0131m.\n\nFakat d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn sona erip kap\u0131m\u0131z kapand\u0131\u011f\u0131nda i\u00e7imdeki b\u00fct\u00fcn cesaret bir anda kayboldu. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc art\u0131k d\u0131\u015far\u0131daki insanlar\u0131n s\u00f6zleri yoktu. Sadece ikimiz vard\u0131k ve ilk kez ger\u00e7ekten kar\u0131 koca olarak ba\u015f ba\u015fayd\u0131k.\n\nOdaya girdi\u011fimizde Cemil ceketini \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131p koltu\u011fun \u00fczerine b\u0131rakt\u0131. Sonra bana d\u00f6nd\u00fc. Ben g\u00f6zlerimi ka\u00e7\u0131r\u0131rken y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fcn k\u0131zard\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hissettim. O ise birka\u00e7 saniye hi\u00e7bir \u015fey s\u00f6ylemeden bana bakt\u0131. Ard\u0131ndan yava\u015f\u00e7a yan\u0131ma geldi ve elimi tuttu. \u201cGeriliyor musun?\u201d diye sordu. Ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 sallad\u0131m. \u201cBiraz.\u201d G\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi. \u201cBen de.\u201d\n\nBu cevab\u0131 beklemiyordum. Her zaman kendinden emin g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm o adam\u0131n da en az benim kadar heyecanl\u0131 oldu\u011funu anlamak i\u00e7imdeki gerginli\u011fi biraz olsun azaltt\u0131.\n\nFakat birka\u00e7 dakika sonra Cemil\u2019in y\u00fcz\u00fcndeki ifade de\u011fi\u015fti. Sanki uzun zamand\u0131r s\u00f6ylemek istedi\u011fi bir \u015feyi nihayet s\u00f6ylemeye karar vermi\u015f gibiydi.\n\n\u201c\u0130lk gecemizde senden bir \u015fey isteyece\u011fim,\u201d dedi.\n\nKalbim h\u0131zland\u0131. \u201cNe?\u201d\n\nElimi b\u0131rakmad\u0131. \u201cBana kar\u015f\u0131 hi\u00e7bir \u015feyi saklamaman\u0131 istiyorum.\u201d\n\n\u015ea\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. Daha farkl\u0131 bir \u015fey beklemi\u015ftim. \u201cNe demek istiyorsun?\u201d\n\n\u201cBenden korkuyorsan s\u00f6yle. Pi\u015fmansan s\u00f6yle. Hatta yar\u0131n evlili\u011fimiz hakk\u0131nda \u015f\u00fcphelerin varsa bile s\u00f6yle. Sana k\u0131zmayaca\u011f\u0131m. Ama benimle bir hayat kuracaksan, bunu insanlar\u0131n ne diyece\u011finden korktu\u011fun i\u00e7in yapma.\u201d\n\nBir anda g\u00f6zlerim doldu. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc tam da bunu yapmaktan korkuyordum. \u0130nsanlar\u0131n konu\u015fmalar\u0131ndan, babam\u0131n ileride pi\u015fman olmas\u0131ndan, Cemil\u2019in ya\u015f\u0131n\u0131n bir g\u00fcn aram\u0131zda b\u00fcy\u00fck bir duvar olu\u015fturmas\u0131ndan korkuyordum. Ama b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131 ona s\u00f6ylemeye cesaret edememi\u015ftim.\n\n\u201cBenden vazge\u00e7menden korkuyorum,\u201d dedim sonunda. \u201cYirmi y\u0131l sonra aram\u0131zdaki fark\u0131n seni rahats\u0131z etmesinden korkuyorum. Bir g\u00fcn bana bak\u0131p gen\u00e7li\u011fimi kaybetti\u011fimi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmenden korkuyorum.\u201d\n\nCemil uzun s\u00fcre sustu. Sonra y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc ellerinin aras\u0131na ald\u0131. \u201cBen senin gen\u00e7li\u011fini istemiyorum,\u201d dedi. \u201cBen seninle ge\u00e7irece\u011fim y\u0131llar\u0131 istiyorum.\u201d\n\nO c\u00fcmle i\u00e7imde bir yere dokundu. \u0130lk kez ya\u015f fark\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n yaln\u0131zca insanlar\u0131n konu\u015ftu\u011fu bir say\u0131 oldu\u011funu hissettim. O gece sabaha kadar konu\u015ftuk.\n\n\u00c7ocuk sahibi olma ihtimalinden, ya\u015flanmaktan, ailelerimizden, birbirimizden beklentilerimizden bahsettik. Bazen g\u00fcld\u00fck, bazen sustuk. Cemil bana ge\u00e7mi\u015finden s\u00f6z etti. Daha \u00f6nce yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 hatalar\u0131, kaybetti\u011fi insanlar\u0131, y\u0131llarca i\u015fine s\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131p duygular\u0131n\u0131 nas\u0131l geri plana att\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlatt\u0131.\n\nBen de ona kendi korkular\u0131m\u0131 anlatt\u0131m. Daha \u00f6nce kimseye s\u00f6ylemedi\u011fim \u015feyleri bile.\n\nSabah oldu\u011funda pencerenin \u00f6n\u00fcnde yan yana oturuyorduk. \u015eehrin \u00fczerine yava\u015f yava\u015f \u0131\u015f\u0131k yay\u0131l\u0131rken Cemil kahvelerimizi haz\u0131rlad\u0131. Bana uzatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 fincan\u0131 al\u0131rken parmaklar\u0131m\u0131z birbirine de\u011fdi. G\u00f6z g\u00f6ze geldik ve ikimiz de g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedik.\n\nFakat as\u0131l s\u0131nav\u0131m\u0131z bundan sonra ba\u015flayacakt\u0131.\n\n\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc birka\u00e7 hafta sonra babam\u0131n i\u015f yerinde b\u00fcy\u00fck bir sorun \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. Cemil\u2019in y\u0131llard\u0131r orta\u011f\u0131 oldu\u011fu \u015firket ciddi bir maddi krize girmi\u015fti. Babam da bu durumdan etkilenmi\u015fti.\n\nBir ak\u015fam eve geldi\u011finde Cemil\u2019in y\u00fcz\u00fcndeki ifadeyi g\u00f6r\u00fcnce k\u00f6t\u00fc bir \u015fey oldu\u011funu anlad\u0131m. Bana ger\u00e7e\u011fi anlatmad\u0131. \u201cSen merak etme,\u201d dedi.\n\nAma bu kez onun ilk gecemizde benden istedi\u011fi \u015feyi hat\u0131rlad\u0131m.\n\n\u201cBana kar\u015f\u0131 hi\u00e7bir \u015feyi saklamayacakt\u0131n,\u201d dedim.\n\nBa\u015f\u0131n\u0131 e\u011fdi. Sonra b\u00fct\u00fcn ger\u00e7e\u011fi anlatt\u0131. \u015eirketin bor\u00e7lar\u0131 nedeniyle evimizi bile kaybetme ihtimalimiz vard\u0131. \u00dcstelik babam\u0131n emekli olabilmesi i\u00e7in y\u0131llard\u0131r biriktirdi\u011fi paran\u0131n da tehlikede oldu\u011funu \u00f6\u011frendim.\n\nO gece ilk kez ger\u00e7ekten e\u015f oldu\u011fumuzu hissettim. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ka\u00e7\u0131p gitmek yerine onun yan\u0131nda durdum.\n\nAylarca birlikte m\u00fccadele ettik. Cemil i\u015fini yeniden toparlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rken ben de kendi mesle\u011fimde daha fazla sorumluluk ald\u0131m. Birbirimizin y\u00fck\u00fcn\u00fc payla\u015fmay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frendik. Bazen tart\u0131\u015ft\u0131k, bazen birbirimize k\u00fcst\u00fck ama hi\u00e7bir zaman kap\u0131y\u0131 \u00e7ekip gitmedik.\n\nBir y\u0131l sonra bor\u00e7lar\u0131n b\u00fcy\u00fck k\u0131sm\u0131n\u0131 kapatmay\u0131 ba\u015fard\u0131k. Babam da emekli oldu. Bir ak\u015fam \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcm\u00fcz ayn\u0131 sofrada otururken babam bana uzun uzun bakt\u0131. Sonra Cemil\u2019e d\u00f6n\u00fcp g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi.\n\n\u201cBa\u015fta \u00e7ok korkmu\u015ftum,\u201d dedi. \u201cAma k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n senden daha \u00e7ok yan\u0131nda oldu\u011funu \u015fimdi g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum.\u201d\n\nCemil benim elimi tuttu.\n\nBen ise o anda ilk gecemizi hat\u0131rlad\u0131m. \u0130nsanlar\u0131n bize bak\u0131p g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc \u015fey yirmi y\u0131ll\u0131k ya\u015f fark\u0131yd\u0131. Benim g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm ise birlikte ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z onca zorluk, verdi\u011fimiz s\u00f6zler ve birbirimize duydu\u011fumuz g\u00fcvendi.\n\nCemil o gece benden yaln\u0131zca bir \u015fey istemi\u015fti: Ger\u00e7ek olmam\u0131.\n\nBen de ona y\u0131llar boyunca ayn\u0131 \u015feyi verdim.\n\n\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc sonunda anlad\u0131m ki bir evlili\u011fi ayakta tutan \u015fey ayn\u0131 ya\u015fta olmak de\u011fil, ayn\u0131 hayat\u0131n i\u00e7inde birbirinin elini b\u0131rakmamakt\u0131r. Aram\u0131zdaki yirmi y\u0131l, insanlar\u0131n sand\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibi bizi birbirimizden uzakla\u015ft\u0131rmad\u0131. Tam tersine, birbirimizi ger\u00e7ekten tan\u0131may\u0131 \u00f6\u011frendi\u011fimiz her g\u00fcn o fark biraz daha k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcld\u00fc.\n\nVe ben y\u0131llar sonra h\u00e2l\u00e2 o ilk geceyi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde, onun bana s\u00f6yledi\u011fi o c\u00fcmleyi hat\u0131rl\u0131yorum:\n\n\u201cBen senin gen\u00e7li\u011fini istemiyorum. Ben seninle ge\u00e7irece\u011fim y\u0131llar\u0131 istiyorum.\u201d\n\nO s\u00f6z, hayat\u0131m boyunca ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m en g\u00fczel cevap oldu.\n\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl>\n\t\t\t<br style='clear: both' \/>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2313,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2312","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-foto-galeri"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2312","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2312"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2312\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2315,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2312\/revisions\/2315"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2313"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2312"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2312"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.denizcakmak.com\/hbr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2312"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}